The Devil Wears Plaid and Floral
by u17
Summary: Naomi's the bitchy boss at Emily's new job. Will sparks fly? AU Naomi/Emily, Katie/Effy
1. Chapter 1

I am late. Very late.

"Shitshitshitshitshit!" I yell as a ran frantically through my flat, trying to find my shoes and my purse. "I'm gonna be fired!"

To say that today had not gotten off to a good start would be putting it mildly. Making a molehill out of a mountain, so to speak. It was my first day of work, and I was already half an hour late. Adding to this fact was my crushing hangover, and the fact that I probably smelled like a fucking distillery. I had just gotten my first real, adult job. I was to start working at Campbell and Co. Inc. today at 8.30. It's 9.00. I was already skating on thin ice, mainly because I had only gotten the job because of my twin sister, Katie. And she had only gotten me the position because she was fucking her boss, Effy Stonem.

"Don't fuck this up, yeah, cuz it's my ass on the line," Katie had told me after she had secured me the job. "I don't want anyone connecting me to nepotism, even if the only reason you got this job is because you're my sister."

Katie's girlfriend, or whatever the fuck she was I have no idea, is the head of Human Resources for the company. I've only met her once, but all I can see when I think of her is the image of her naked arse. Why? Because the first time I met her was when I absentmindedly walked in on her and Katie fucking. Gross, right? Anyway, she immediately stopped, walked over to me completely naked and sweaty, and proffers her hand (ew, I don't even want to think where that's been). Effy, she introduces herself, Katie's boss. She has this really annoying know it all look, and I personally can't see what Katie sees in her. Well, at least she better than Katie's many footballer ex-boyfriends who all tried to grab my tits. According to Katie, Effy and the boss are like BFFs which is why I got the absolutely amazing position of personal assistant. Sarcasm, guys, in case you didn't understand.

My phone rings loudly. I quickly check the caller ID. Shit, it's Katie.

"Um, hi," I say, like the timid little mouse I am.

"Where the fucking hell are you? It almost 9.00. The boss'll be in soon and she'll be really pissed if you're not there, ready with coffee."

"Sorry, my alarm clock is broken." I mutter.

"Sure you're not off frolicking with Sarah?" She shoots back venomously. "Cuz if you are..."

"No, I told you we broke up a couple of weeks ago." Sarah was my last girlfriend. It was love at first sight for me. She was tall, redheaded, and hilarious. I loved her eyes, and her smile, and the way she made me feel, as if I was the only other person on the planet. Oh yeah, and she was fucking at least two other girls behind my back. She was the reason for my current half inebriated state. I've been pickling my liver these last two weeks, trying to forget her.

"Thank god, that bitch had awful taste." Wow, thanks Katie.

"Anyway," I say, "I'm getting on the train now"

"Bye," her voice softens, "Good luck little sis."

I make my way towards the trains. I can see the doors to my train closing, and I run towards the doors when WHAM! I'm hit by something hard to my head.

"Ohmygod, are you alright?" says a voice above me, "I'm so sorry!"

I open my eyes and immediately swoon. She's beautiful. She has shortish blonde hair and clear blue eyes. The hard thing that hit me in the head is her laptop bag, which is hanging precariously from her shoulder as well as a bag that reads "may contain ideas".

"No, I'm good. Well you know, not GOOD, but ok. Like not hurt. Ok, my head hurts a little bit and God, I'm rambling" I trail off.

She laughs and says "Maybe we could get a coffee, it's the least I could do."

Oh my giddy giddy giddy aunt, as my friend JJ likes to say. A hot, like REALLY hot girl is asking me to have coffee with her. Calm down, it's not even like it's a date, and anyway, I have work. I have to focus really hard now because even though I'm 23 I still get nervous talking to attractive girls.

"Sorry," I say, "but I'm already late for work."

"Yeah, me too actually," she says flashing me another brilliant smile. "Maybe some other time. I'm Naomi, by the way."

"I'm Emily, and I really have to go. I've heard my new boss is a real bitch."

We both walk into the train, and are quickly separated by the crowd. When I arrive at the station, I decided fuck it, I'm already late, what is walking the couple of blocks instead of taking a taxi going to do? I keep a pretty fast clip, and I get to the office at 9.20 exactly. I see Katie looking like she's about to burst a vein.

"Damn girl, Campbell wants you in her office now! You're going to get it. Don't make me and Ef look bad."

I swallow thickly and head to the end of the hallway. Calm down Emily, just because Katie and JJ say she's a complete bitch doesn't mean it's true. I crack open the door to see a chair facing the wall. She swivels around and BOOM, it's the girl from the train. Her face must mirror mine: shock and surprise written all over it. She quickly composes herself and then:

"Emily, right?"

"Um, yeah. Hi, Naomi."

She doesn't say anything for another few seconds, agonizingly awkward painful seconds. "Well, then Ms. Fitch I will have to ask you not to arrive late again. Doing so will result in termination of your position, and I will blacklist you. I don't take kindly to my employees being anything but excellent. And please refer to me as Ms. Campbell or ma'am. There's a staff meeting today at 2.00; perhaps you could deign to join us," she finishes sarcastically.

WTF. What a bitch. I can see that this is not going to go well.


	2. Chapter 2

I stumble out of Naomi's, excuse me "Ms. Campbell's" office. Katie immediately swarms down on me.

"So, what happened?"

"Nothing really, she just laid into me for being late."

"Well you should meet the rest of us, then."

Katie led me around the rest of the office. "This is Freddie McIaire," she says pointing to a tall attractive man. "He works in sales."

"Hi, Emily, welcome to the office."

She leads me over to a table where a blonde girl and a black man are sitting. "This is Pandora Moon and Thomas Tomone. Aren't they just the cutest couple?"

"I am Thomas, so pleased to meet you," he says offering me his hand.

"Bonkers, the bitch's got another PA? Whizzer." Pandora mumbles to herself.

"And this," Katie says disgustedly, pointing to a man who is making pelvic thrusts at one of the secretaries much to her apparent discomfort, "is James Cook."

"Heeyyy! You can call me the Cookie Monster. What do you say we get together and make each other feel alright? A twin thing, yeah?"

"You're repulsive!" Katie spits out.

"And you love me for it!" he calls out walks away and resumes harassing the secretary.

"And of course you already know Effy and JJ."

JJ walks over to my new desk. "Hey, Emily. It's nice to see you here. Not that it isn't nice to see you other times, of course it's nice to see you then too. Not that I enjoy it too much, I mean I don't have a crush on you or anything. Well statistically speaking, one of us will develop more than platonic feelings for the other, and seeing as you're gay, it falls to me to have a crush on you. Added to this is the fact that we have had sexual relations in the past, leading me to have more intense romantic urges towards you. I'm getting locked on, aren't I?"

Yeah, that's JJ, my best friend. No, not friends with benefits, there was just one drunken time in college shortly before I admitted I was gay. We had gotten monumentally drunk and spliffed up, and I was vulnerable, I guess. Not to say he took advantage of me or anything. We were both virgins who wanted to lose it. It was a little awkward in the past, but now we're alright. Or at least I thought we were. I've been trying to get him a girlfriend for the past six years, without much success.

Effy walks over to my desk. "Hi."

God don't think of naked Effy, don't think of naked Effy, don't think of naked Effy, fuck, thinking of naked Effy. "Hey, Effy. It's, er, nice to see you again."

"Likewise," she says giving that accursed mysterious smirk. "Naomi asked me give you this work."

Oh so the bitch couldn't have just given it to me like five minutes ago when we were talking? No, Emily, you can't start thinking that way. I look down at the papers Effy's just handed me.

"Wait, this looks like dry cleaning receipts," I said incredulously. I'm starting work at the prestigious Campbell and Co. Inc. and I'm getting the fucking dry cleaning?

"Yeah. It is." Effy smirks again, "You're pretty much her bitch. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, she's pretty high maintenance. She'll need you to fill **all** her needs."

Hold up. Was that just me, or did Effy insert some sort of sexual innuendo in there? Cuz I don't care how how good she looks, I am not doing _that___with _her_. And I guess I better get to that dry cleaning.

So here I am, waiting to get her lunch at this really famous restaurant. Would they let me call in the order? No. Did they act like I was some drunken crackhead when I came in? Yes. It's all hoity-toity and what I'd really like to do is take a shit in the food of all these stuck up pricks. But no, calm, Emily, calm. Anyway it's taking fucking forever, and my feet are beginning to grow sore because they won't give me a damn table.

"Ms. Fitch!" a voice calls out. "Is there a Ms. Fitch here?"

Finally! I grab the food and leg it back to the office. Somehow I just know that even though she didn't tell me her lunch order until 1.15, it's going to be _my_ fault that I'm late to the staff meeting.

"So, Fitch, were you planning on joining us now or were you waiting on a written invitation?" Naomi (yes I'm calling her Naomi, goddammit) cracks sarcastically. "In my experience, employees who want to keep their jobs usually show up on time. Just saying. I wouldn't know what a bitchy boss does though. Maybe you'd care to enlighten us?"

Shit...Damn, I had told her that my boss was supposedly bitchy. I was going to have to do some major ass kissing in order to ever get in her good graces. The meeting goes slowly, mind numbingly boring, all about numbers and sales as I take diligent notes.

So I'm about ready to leave my disastrous first day of work when I hear Katie call my name.

"Ems, come here!"

"What," I say as I grudgingly make my way over. "I've had an awful day, so please don't bitch me out."

"I just wondered if you'd like to join me and Ef for dinner. You know hear about your day and such shit. Sounds good, yeah?"

No Katie, actually I'd rather have microwaved dog shit, but thanks anyway. "Yeah, sounds great let me just grab my coat."

I walk into the coatroom, not really looking where I'm going when CRASH, I run into her again. This time it's me who's lying on top of her, and it takes me a few seconds to get my bearings. She's looking at me with distaste. "Planning on moving, Fitch? Like how this is feeling a bit too much maybe?"

"Sorry," I mutter insincerely. "My fault."

We move silently through the coatroom, and I soon meet Katie and Effy outside.

"So where are we doing this?" I ask, mainly cuz my flat's a mess.

"We're going back to ours," says Effy as she walks ahead, seeming not to care that we're not following.

"'Ours'? As in you and Effy's?" I ask disbelievingly. "You two live together?"

"Yeah, Ems, get with the program. We've been living together for almost two months now; I'm sure I told you."

Yeah, right. So my sister's living with Effy, Ms. Mysterious; it must be pretty serious. We get a taxi and in about ten minutes we reach their flat. It's swank and new, all modern furniture and other expensive shit.

"My parent's are loaded," Effy says when she catches me looking at the huge plasma screen TV, "They pretty much paid for this apartment for a few years."

Dinner is pretty quiet; we got some take-away. Katie and Effy keep sending each other these sickening, love struck glances, it's maddening really. Finally Effy tears herself away from Katie and their game of footsie(like I can't see what they're doing!) and:

"So, Naomi," Effy says with another smirk.

"Yeah, um, Naomi. She seems, er, nice." I can't say it with a straight face, I can't.

"Bullshit. She's a complete bitch, and because Katie's making me, I'll tell you why."


	3. Chapter 3

"We'll need some wine first, obviously."

Yeah, you alcoholic! She must have drunk three glasses already. She pours us all a healthy glass then takes a deep breath.

"Even though I'm telling you all this shit, Naomi's my best friend, so don't try and fuck with her because I will hunt you down like a dog." Katie kicks her under the table. "Sorry, babe, it had to be said. Anyway, Naomi's had a shitty life. Her parents didn't give a damn about her and she was pretty neglected. She would stay at mine and her parents wouldn't even notice. They were too busy getting high and wasted. My parents practically raised her and-"

"Wait a minute," I say, cutting her off, "Why are you telling me this? Not that it's not sad and shit, but I don't really give a fuck about her childhood."

"I'm telling you so that you'll understand. She's fragile, ok? So anyway, nothing much happened in her childhood, except she was neglected and almost friendless besides me. We're both loners; neither of us like too much human contact."

"You like my contact though, right?" Katie asks. God, she's so insecure sometimes.

"Oh yeah, I like your contact a lot," says Effy, pretty much eye-fucking my sister while I'm sitting at their fucking table with them, trying desperately to not projectile vomit all over them and their sugary cuteness. I really don't want to see my sister get it on. Again.

"So basically Naomi's a bitch because of her crappy childhood. Boo hoo. Lots of people have had shittier childhoods and guess what, they turned out lovely."

Effy looks pissed. "Look, I guess you're just not ready to hear it yet. I'm going to bed, you coming, Katie?"

Katie shoots me a sympathetic look, then gets up with Effy. "See you tomorrow, right Ems?"

"Yeah, tomorrow. Another wonderful day with her highness." I make my way out of the flat, and as I'm coming down the stairs I run into someone. Which seems to just be my newest hobby.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry," says a familiar voice.

"Sarah? Is that you?" I ask stupidly.

"Yeah, hey Em. You look good, really good."

"Thanks, I've been you know trying a new diet. Vodka and pills FTW." Shit. Can you sound any stupider? Nope, don't think it's even possible.

She laughs, "I sure hope not. Hey, I just moved here last week, hence why we had this chance meeting. Any luck that you might join me for a quick nightcap?"

Shitification, as JJ likes to says. I slept with her. It's now about 7.00 AM, and I have a splitting headache. I try to stealthily make my way way out, grabbing my clothes, almost there and shit. She grabs my arm sleepily.

"Baby, where are you going? It's way too fucking early. Stay in bed." She gives me her pouty lips, which I'm a sucker for.

"No, Sarah, I have to go."

"Will you call me later. I'm really glad we're back together."

Woah, hold up the crazy train. Did she just say we were back together. Cuz I'm pretty sure I didn't agree to that. I try to wake up my hazy brain and remember what exactly happened last night.

_"What would you like Ems? You know everything that I have," Sarah said flirtatiously._

_ "Well I'm already a bit tipsy so maybe just a cup of coffee?"_

_ "Coming right up, hon. So how have you been doing? You got a new job didn't you. That's what Jones told me"_

_ "You're in contact with JJ?" Oh so now she was stealing my friends. Great._

_ "Yeah, we chat sometimes...I really miss you, you know. The breakup really hit me hard. I really want to make things work, though. Just give me another chance. Those girls, they meant nothing. I'm only in love with you. We were together since the third year of uni, you can't replace that kind of time. You really broke my heart when you broke up with me. You owe me at least some effort. And can you honestly do any better?" She emphasizes her words with a quick little twirl. _

_ "You cheated on me. You were the ones fucking sluts behind my back. I don't owe you shit."_

_ "Well that's because you weren't filling my needs. Lesbian bed death and such. Maybe if you had put a little effort into this relationship, then we wouldn't have had that problem."_

_ "'We wouldn't have had that problem?' _We_ didn't have a problem, _you_ had a problem."_

_ "Yeah, well then show me that you know how to satisfy my needs." she raised her eyebrow and smiled. God, she's so hot. No Emily, think with your brain not, ahem, other areas. She walks towards me slowly. I'm so fucking mad. And turned on. Aw, fuck it, I'm going all in._

So we had sex, angry sex. And now she thinks we're back together. Fuck me now. No, Em, that's what you in trouble the first time.

"Sarah, we're not back together. This was a one time thing; it's not happening again"

"Emsy, please. Please don't cut me out of your life completely. I need you. I'm sorry for all the shit that I've pulled, but I don't know what do to make it better." She's practically in tears now, and she looks so pitiful. Even though she stabbed her knife of betrayal deep inside my heart, I still love her and it's hard for me to see her in pain.

"Ok, Sarah. I'm not ready to give you a second chance, but give me a call later, and maybe we'll do something, yeah?" My heart melts when I see the radiant smile she flashes. She bounces over and gives me a quick peck on the lips.

"Oops, is that not allowed?"

I can't help but grin myself. "I've got go. Shower, fresh clothes, probably need to find my anti-bitch spray."

Sarah laughs. See? She even laughs at my unfunny jokes, what's not to love. Oh yeah. Cheating whore. I leave her flat with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. I make it back to my flat with plenty of time, take a nice long shower, get dressed, and make it to the office by 8.15.

Have you ever seen one of those movies where there's this like really mean character, but they have a heart of gold? Well life ain't movie, sweetheart, and Naomi just isn't that bitchy but sweet boss. She's just bitchy. And sadistic. Whenever I make the smallest little mistake, she's on me like flies on shit. Right now I'm running to get her favorite type of chocolate croissant from the tiny little bakery that's pretty much the farthest possible distance from the office as possible. And she wouldn't pay for a cab, so now I'm stuck sitting next to man who I'm pretty sure shat himself, and a woman who keeps murmuring about "little green men". Throw in a screaming crack-baby and you'd have my idea of a good time. I finally stumble back into the office with my purchase. She actually thanks me when I hand it to her, what a pleasant surprise. Common decency does exist in this office, wow! In other news, Sarah has texted me four times since I've got to work.

Had fun last night ~ Sarah xoxo

Miss you babe ~ S

I need you ~ Sarah xoxo

Call me ~ S

That's her major failing: clinginess. Even though she had another girlfriend, and a girl she was cheating on us both with, she managed to be the neediest girl I've ever met. It was almost sweet at the time, because it deluded me into thinking she was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about her. Katie immediately knew something was up when I walked into the office today.

"Ems, what happened last night? I called you like an hour after you left. You didn't pick up your mobile or your phone. I left three messages. You had me really worried!"

"Um, I was in the shower?"

"Bullshit. You were with _her_, weren't you? I can see that you got laid last night, didn't you?"

It's no use denying it, Katie always knows. Even in college when I stole a kiss with Jimmy Olson's twin sister.

"Um, yeah, you could put it that way."

"Oh, fucking hell. Stay away from that bitch, I tell you, she's a bucket full of crazy, Ems, and you don't have any room for crazy juice." Then she walked away, most likely to bitch to Effy.

Katie's pretty much been ignoring me for the rest of the day, except when she wanted me to do something because guess what? Effy was wrong, I'm not Naomi's bitch, I'm just the office bitch.

"Emily, can you fetch me a cup of coffee? Thanks"

"Emily, I need these faxed to the Browns."

"Em, we've got an opening in three days, can you send over the materials?"

It's actually really fucking tiring, this whole adult job business. Especially seeing as how I'm at one of the lowest positions. I'm really hoping to move up a bit soon, though. Effy hinted last night that they were looking to promote someone to sales, and even though I've only been here a short time and basically called the boss a bitch to her face, I like my odds.

"EMILY!" Cooks yells across the room. "I need you!"

"What is Cook? I don't have time for your stupid bullshit" Oh yeah, and Cook has been hitting on me every chance he gets, despite my repeated "I'm gay"s. Cook pretends to look offended.

"Babe, why are you fighting this? What do you say me, you, and that supply closet all get a little more intimate."

"Well unless there's something I don't know about your dick, I really don't think I'm interested." I say with a sarcastic grin. I hear a loud cough from behind me.

"Fitch, Cook! Having personal conversations on the premises is strictly forbidden. You know better, Cook. Fitch, come with me to my office."

Oh shit. First I'm dreadfully late to work, now I'm caught having a personal conversation when really I should be suing for sexual harassment! Naomi has a grim look on her face as we make our way to her enormous office. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but that place is decked out. Plasma screen TV, plush chairs, and a drink machine (I don't know why she doesn't just use a refrigerator like normal people). She motions for me to sit down.

"Have a seat, Fitch," she says gruffly.

I nervously sit down. "What's, um, wrong, Ms. Campbell?"

"Nothing, I just need you to attend a party with me with some of our biggest clients. Take notes, help me with the business side of it. Effy can't attend for some reason, and all of our other employees are busy."

"I, um, er, kind of already have plans. My girlfriend, er, well not girlfriend, but close friend, um ex-girlfriend and I are getting together. Not together as in romantically, just like to hang out. Not have sex or anything." My god, stop the word vomit. Naomi eyes me curiously.

"Well thanks for letting me know. I was mega concerned that you were going to have sex with your girlfriend, I mean not girlfriend, and now I can go to sleep tonight. Thank god. And really what's more important, your job or your sort of girlfriend? Because that's what it comes down to.


	4. Chapter 4

So here I am, feeling extremely uncomfortable, while Naomi prattles on to some dignitary that we represent. When she said take notes I immediately assumed she meant with a pen and paper. You know, like NORMAL people. But no, that would be 'weird'. I mean, yeah I guess it would be but it still pisses me off. So here I am desperately trying to remember what Mr. Yuan is saying, what Ms. Yoshimoto is on about, and what the fucking hell Mr. Patel is trying to get out of his fat face. Naomi is in her element. She's like a different person than at work. She's funny, charming, and engaging everyone in conversation.

"I was pleasantly surprised to hear that Obama won the Nobel."

"Why yes I enjoy his films; I personally have all of his work."

"I am continuing to learn Italian, thanks for remembering."

"Did any of you make it to the opera with the tickets we provided, Mr. Simpson? I personally went and my date and I found it captivating."

Wait, date? Naomi Campbell can retract her claws enough to go on a date? Figures they'd go to a posh place like the opera. I pity the guy who'd be stupid enough to be lured in by that siren. _You were drawn to her on the train_. Shut up, I didn't know what see was like then. I'm lost in my thoughts for a few seconds, and I must look like a mental patient because Naomi turns to me, the face of perfect concern, and asks, "Emily, are you alright? You look a little off?"

Oh ho ho, first name basis now, are we? "Yeah, I'm fine _Naomi._" I don't miss the glare she sends my way. The party continues and we mingle with what seems like hundreds of people. My brain is overwhelmed; there is no way in hell I'm remembering all these people's names. Finally Naomi tells me we're leaving. The sky is overcast and grim; it's probably around midnight, and I'm shivering in the London winter cold.

"I can drop you off on my way home," Naomi suggests.

I'm floored. Naomi being _nice_. Being nice to _me. _I must look a bit flustered because she quickly follows it up with:

"Well I can't have my employees going to sketchy trains all hours of the night."

"Ok, then, thanks."

Naomi's driver, yes _driver_, comes to pick us up. Fuck knows why she insists on taking the train in the morning. We're in the car now, sitting awkwardly. Her shirt has somehow become unbuttoned at the top, and I catch myself staring at her chest. Bad, Emily, bad. She's a mean bitch. _With a great pair of tits._ Ah well, I can enjoy a nice rack.

"Your, um, shirt has become unbuttoned" What, I feel obligated to tell her.

"Oh, er thanks, I'll uh fix it." Her face has turned a bright red. Which I find kind of cute. WTF. Did I just think that she was cute? Oh my god, do not develop some sort of crush on her. No matter how smart and pretty she is. It would just turn into some crazy sadomasochistic weird situation. I am interrupted from my thoughts by a loud clap of thunder. Lightning flashes by the window. We're still a long way to home, seeing as the party was out in the country. I hear a whimper. I glance over at Naomi, to see her cowering in her seat.

"What's wrong," I ask. She looks so pale, like she just might pass out.

"Noth...nothing," she stutters out.

"Are you afraid of the thunder?"

She nods abashedly, and then burst into tears. She's full out sobbing now, and I can't help but reach out to her. She falls into my embrace. I press my lips to the top of her forehead.

"It'll be alright, Naomi, it'll be alright" I murmur this phrase over and over again as I rock her back and forth. Slowly she begins to quiet down, and the sobs no longer wrack her body. We stay like that for a long time. She looks pretty even when crying. The rain begins to dissipate, so do the thunder and lightning. Naomi moves away from me on the seat and begins to look like her stoic self again. The front of my white shirt has several damps spots on it, making it slightly see through. I think that I can see her sneaking glances at me, but it's probably just my over-pervy imagination. All I can think of was her face. Even though I hate her, and I do hate her , it was so pitiful. Naomi's biting her lip in this really adorable (goddammit, I'm attracted to her, ok?) way, like she wants to say something.

"So, um, thanks. Please don't tell anyone, especially not Katie. It's really hard for me to show weakness in front of others, so I hope you won't make me sorry I did. In fact the only other person I've ever cried in front of was Fio-"

She's cut off by my phone ringing. I pull it out to see 'Sarah' flashing across the screen.

"Sorry it's my ex. I really need to take this cuz I feel bad for canceling." She looks slightly put out.

"Hey, Sarah, what's up? I told you I couldn't make it." I'm slightly annoyed at her clinginess.

"It's, it's my dad. He's in a coma. He was hit by a car" She sounds broken. She and her dad were really close.

"Ok, I'll be over there as fast as I can. Take some deep breaths, everything will turn out alright." I tell Naomi of the change in plans, and she nods.

"You're a good ex, Fitch"

I'm pleasantly surprised by her comment. "Thanks."

We make it to Sarah's flat in another few minutes. I say my farewells to Naomi, and rush inside. Sarah looks so fragile. There is a bottle of vodka that she seems to have polished off; she reeks of it.

"Sarah, we need to get you cleaned up so we can go to the hospital."

"You won't leave me too, will you Ems? I really need you now."

"Of course I won't leave you," I say soothingly, "I'm always going to be here for you, ok?"

I help her put on a clean shirt (the one she was wearing had vodka sloshed all over the front), and a pair of clean pants, and then we're out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Sarah's dad isn't doing very well. The doctors don't think he'll see the next week, but there's still a glimmer of hope. I've been with her pretty much the entire time; even Naomi understood my need to take off work.

"Take as much time as you need, Fitch, I know what it's like to lose someone."

I don't know what I'm going to do, though. The more time Sarah and I spend together, the farther apart we get. At the risk of sounding like an asshole, she's become kind of needy. I get that she's having a hard time, but all of her flaws are magnified times a 1000. The only time I can get away is when she's at the hospital. Her family isn't the most accepting, so I'm not exactly welcome.

As bad as it sounds, Sarah was using her father's illness against me. Whenever I made to leave her, she would tell me she was too sad, too worried to be alone. I barely had any time to myself, which would be fine except Sarah had wronged me, and I wasn't ready to forgive her.

The week passes, and so does Sarah's father. It was a quiet death, painlessly in his sleep. I'm trying to keep my distance from Sarah while also being supportive. Katie and Effy are coming to mine later while Sarah goes to the funeral. The lunch was Katie's idea because, as she put it, 'we need to get you away from all this depressing shit'. They traipse in at around 1.00, and they're both positively quivering with excitement for some reason. Even Effy, who never loses her cool demeanor is bouncing up and down.

"So Emsy, we've got something to tell you. News. Er, BIG news."

"Ok, shoot." Oh god, they've probably decided to emigrate to America or some other crazy shit.

"We, Effy and I that is, are getting married!" Katie squeals and for the first time I notice the ring on her finger.

"Ohmygod! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" I am. I really am. Katie and Effy make a really good couple. They balance each other out, you know? I can't believe my sister, my twin, my best friend, is getting married. They're beaming at each other. "So, let me see the ring then."

"Oh my god Ems, it was so romantic. I come home from work to see a candlelit dinner all set up. Effy made all my favorites, and she got a bottle of really good champagne. She slipped the ring into my cheesecake, and when I found it, she got down on one knee and proposed."

Effy grins goofily, which makes her look somehow softer, and says "I've known since I met you that you were the one."

"Aw, babe, that's so sweet." Katie leans over to kiss Effy, and I resist saying anything, because really they just got engaged, so they deserve it. The kiss goes on for a little bit too long, get's a little bit too heated, and I'm forced to cough. They finally break apart, and go back to smiling at each other.

"So, have you set a date or anything?"

"Um, yeah, that's the thing. We decided we're getting married in the Bahamas. Andwe'regettingmarriedinaweek." Effy uncharacteristically mumbles out the last few words in a rush.

"Pardon? It sounded like you were saying you're getting married in a week."

"Erm, yeah, Emily. I did say that. We didn't see any reason to wait, and anyway, we don't really want a big wedding."

"Well actually, babe, you know I really wouldn't mind a big wedding, but I know you'd prefer otherwise." Katie interjects, "And I'd do anything for you."

Ew, I'm vomiting over here, just too sugary sweet. I prefer girls who are a bit less touch feely. "So I guess we've got some planning to do. I'm a little worried Naomi won't let me off, what with me taking off this week already."

"No, Naomi's closing the office down for the week. Most of the office is invited so it doesn't make much since to keep it open." Katie says happily.

"You told _Naomi_ before you told me?" I ask disbelievingly. "I can't believe you."

"Relax, girl, Effy got some advice on proposing. You're the first person that knows I said yes."

I'm slightly mollified at her comment, but why the fuck would you ask Naomi about something so, er, loving? Somehow I can't imagine her being romantic.

"So Ems, you'll be my maid of honor, yeah?"

"Of course, Katie, I'd be honored. I assume Naomi is yours?" I ask Effy.

"Yeah, she's my best mate."

"So when are you going to tell our parents?" I'm a bit nervous. They know I'm gay and barely tolerate it, but the thought of little Katiekins being like me would probably break them.

"We're telling them tonight at the family dinner."

Every Sunday night since I can remember, no matter where we are or what we're doing, we always get together for dinner. Neither Katie nor I have ever brought someone to eat with us, not even Katie's many footballer boyfriends or Sarah.

The three of us are gathered around the front door. We're all too nervous to ring the bell.

"Ems, why don't you go inside and tell them that something dreadful came up, and I can't make it. Tell them Mr. Fluffums died."

"Suck it up, Katie. You're the one that wanted to do this in the first place. I'm going to ring the bell now." I reach my hand out towards the bell when suddenly the door flies open.

"Girls!" My mom, Jenna, squeals, "It's so good to see you!" She wraps us both in a tight hug. When she releases us she looks around and sees Effy standing awkwardly behind Katie. "Who is this?"

She sounds suspicious.

"Well, Mum, that's the thing. Effy and I, I mean this is Effy. She and I are, well what I mean to say is she and I, well we're um getting married."

Mum's eyes roll back into her head and she collapses into a heap on the front doorstep. Great. Fucking great.


	6. Chapter 6

Kill me now. Please. We're sitting at the dinner table, not speaking, not even really eating, just watching each other. Mum is shooting daggers at Effy, and Dad just looks bewildered.

"So, erm, James, how's school going?" I ask James loudly.

"Oh, it's good. You know, doing school work, and um, other things." James answers my transparent question, attempting to ease the tension. He's matured in these last few years, stopped hanging around that toerag Gordon McPherson. "How's work?"

"It's good, you know I've been taking off time because Sarah's having a hard time what with her father and all."

"You're still seeing that awful Sarah girl?" My mom looks disgusted. "I never liked her." My dad nods in agreement. What is it about Sarah that they can't stand? Other than the fact that she's a cheating whore. There is that. "Our neighbors have a son that you might like, Emily, he's an engineer!"

"Mum, how many times have I told you that I'm GAY. I fancy _girls_."

"I know you think that, sweetie, but there are treatments available. Retreats, nice places you can go to get better."

"MUM! Listen to yourself, being gay isn't a disease, ok?"

Mum busies herself with her food, and mutters something along the lines of 'now she's spread it to her sister'. Effy looks as though she's swallowed something sour. Apart from setting an extra place, which she seemed reluctant to do, Mum hasn't done anything to acknowledge her presence. Dad, for once, seems itching to do something.

"So, Effy is it, what do you do?" He asks, giving her a smile.

"Um, I'm the VP of human resources at Campbell and Co. Sir" She adds as an afterthought.

"Oh, so you work with Katie then?"

"Yes, sir. That's how we met."

"And the, er, wedding, it's scheduled for when exactly? Or have you even set a date?"

Katie jumps in, "Well, Dad, we sort of are getting married in a week. In the Bahamas."

"What!" Mum shouts. "You're getting married in a week in the Bahamas?"

"Yes. We just decided it one a spur of the moment decision."

"But there's no time! We have to get a dress, a cake, the catering, calling your grandmother. There's so much to do!" Mum seems almost excited now.

"Relax, Mum, we've booked the wedding package at a hotel so everything but the dresses is sorted."

"God, my little baby is getting married!" My mom squeals loudly. "I'm so excited!"

Wow, bipolar much? One minute she's ignoring them and next I see here running around the table to pull them both into a hug. She walks back to her seat and begins bouncing in her chair slightly.

"So who are we inviting? Grandma, of course, and your aunts and uncles, and cousin Michael, and—"

"Mum, we're only inviting a few people. A week really isn't enough time to let everyone know."

Mum looks slightly put out. "Oh, well in that case we'll still have to invite some people."

They start to fuss and James silently slips out, to visit his girlfriend, I think. Dad motions for me to come to the living room with him. We walk in, our departure unnoticed by Mum and Katie.

"So, Emsy, how's life been treating you?" My Dad and I have always been pretty close, even though he's a meathead jock. When I first came out to my parents, he held me while I cried after my mother had told me I was bringing shame on the entire family. "I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Sorry, Dad, I've just been really busy. I just started my new job, and Sarah's father died a few days ago. I know you don't like her, but I still love her and I really need to be there for her."

"It's not that I don't like her, Emsy, but I know what she's done to you. I can't condone what she's done. This is one of those times when I wished you liked men; if she was a man I'd break his face."

Aw, sweet in a way. "Well, Dad, I really have to be going, I told Sarah I'd meet her at her flat at 8.00, it's 7.00 now, so I'd better go."

We said our goodbyes, managing to pry Mum away from Katie and Effy. Then I left. I got to Sarah's flat a little early, but I figured it wouldn't matter cuz really, what could she be doing that was important. I let myself in with the key that she had given me a few days ago. I could hear moaning noises from the bedroom. Was she crying, I wonder, quickening my pace. "Sarah," I call, "Are you there?"

"Oh shit," someone mutters. What the fuck. That wasn't Sarah's voice. I walk in the bedroom to see an all too familiar sight. Sarah pulling on her pants while a topless girl cowers in the corner.

"I've had enough of your bullshit. Don't call." I say, surprisingly emotionless. I walk towards the door, grabbing my purse which I had strewn on the couch.

"Em, wait up!" Sarah yells, "I can explain!"

I spin around, anger welling up inside of me. "Can you? Because from what I saw it looked like you were fucking someone else, you know, not ME."

"I was so lonely, I met her at the funeral. She's the daughter of my dad's business partner. We weren't back together, anyway; it's not like you were giving it me."

"Are you some sort of nympho? Cuz if you can't keep it in your pants on the day of your dad's fucking funeral then that might be a sign. I bet he'd be proud, who wouldn't want a slut for a daughter."

A look of pain crosses her face. It was a low blow, I admit, but this bitch has hurt me too much. There was a time when I thought we'd end up married with kids. Not anymore. I was done being passive little Emily, who never stands up for herself. I storm out of the building, and it all catches up with me. I feel tears welling up. I call Katie. "Hey, can you come to mine? I really need you."

Somehow we end up at Katie's instead. Effy's been liberally pouring the vodka for both of us, but other than that she's been giving us some "sister space", whatever that is. The phone interrupted us once, but it was for Effy.

"Hey," said Effy. "Oh yeah. That's today. Why don't you get out of the house and come to mine."

"An' anofer thing tha' she does is forgetting anniversharies. Never once did she remember our annivershary or my birfday."

"Too right, girl," says Katie, taking another swig of vodka. I was so drunk at this point.

"Ya' know, I think I'ma go after loads'a girls thish time. Gonna get me some titsh and fanny!"

"Excuse me?" says a voice from the door. I look over. Shit. Of course it has to be her.

"Fitch, Katie," Naomi says as way of hello. "I didn't know you two had company." She sounds uncomfortable.

"I'm nosh company, I'm family," I slur out.

"Sorry, I didn't know they had _family_ over." Naomi says acerbically.

"Ish ok, join in the party! We're having sho sho much fun, aren't we Katie?"

Effy walks in from the kitchen. "Hey, Naomi, we can go to the bedroom to talk if you'd like."

"Very much. I'd appreciate not having to watch my employees get sloppy all over the floor."

"Well, _shorry_, Naomi! I thought you'd _appreshiate_ a bit of fun, you wet sack!"

"Wet sack? My god, you're drunk. I need a drink just looking at you. I'm not cutting you any slack tomorrow at work either; I know what you've been up to."

"S'ok, I don't get hungover, so ha!"

"Mmkay. I'll just have to ask you tomorrow, then." She says, raising her eyebrows imperiously. Then she disappears into the bedroom with Effy, who's bringing a bottle of vodka for them. They're gone for a couple of hours; I can hear their chatter, but not what they're saying. I continue to bitch out Sarah, and Katie listens like a good sister. We so fucking drunk at this point that I can barely see straight.

"Hey, Katie, lesh play a game. Like when we were kidsh!."

"Thas such a great idea, Ems. Effy and I got tons!"

They did not have tons, they had one. Monopoly. "Oh well, Ems, we can have fun anyway. I'm going to ask if Effy and Campbell want to play." She hurries off to the bedroom.

Somehow we all end up playing Monopoly. She and Effy are both pretty wasted at this point, too.

"Thas four hundred you owe me!" I say triumphantly to Katie. God, this night is so, so good. I've got booze, family, I'm winning at monopoly, and I'm finally rid of the bitch.

"I'm glad you're having fun," says Effy dryly. Damn, did I say all that out loud?

Naomi chuckles to herself. "You're funny when you're drunk, Fitch. Much more interesting than your normal boring self."

"Hey, I'll have you know I'm the life of the party! The most superest funnest person in the whole wide world. Keep it for future referensh, yeah?"

Naomi raises her eyebrows (she does that a lot, doesn't she). "Ah, I see. Superest funnest, I'll remember that." She grabs the remaining bottle of vodka and takes a swig. "Good stuff."

"So I'm going to bed, coming babe?" Katie turns to Effy.

"Yeah, sure."

"You two had better stay here tonight; you're much too wasted to go home. One of you can sleep on the couch, the other can take the guest bed." Katie says grabbing Effy's hand. They stumble off to their bedroom.

"So, Ems, who's it gonna be, me or you? I'll let you have it."

"S'ok. You should prolly take it, your sleep ish more important than mine."

"Fuck it, Fitch, I'm trying to be chivalrous and shit here."

"Chivalry. Ha, what a funny word. Anyway, the bed's a queen, why don't we just share it?"

Naomi flushes for a second, then shakes herself. "Sure, that'd be fine."

We make our way drunkenly to the bedroom. I grab a couple of stray shirts that Katie and Effy have left. I pull it onto my head, not missing Naomi's careful glances. "Like what you see?" I ask cheekily. Naomi says nothing, but turns a beet red color. Aha! Caught you!

I throw the other shirt to Naomi, who makes a spectacularly awful dive for it, completely missing it. She falls to the floor, and I fall too, laughing.

"Oi, Fitch, no laughing at me. I'm the boss," she says, trying to get up, only to fall back on her bum. She stumbles over to the bed and pulls off her shirt. I can't help but look at her. She's got a fucking hot body.

"Hey, no perving!" she says playfully.

"I wasn't, I wasn't perving

"Yes you were, you were perving."

We're left standing in over large T-Shirts wondering what to do next. I'm struck by one of my brilliant ideas (I seem to have them a lot when I'm drunk or high), and I grab a pillow. I bring it over my head and hit Naomi with a resounding thwack.

"You bitch!" she squeals, "I'll get you back." She grabs a pillow for herself and smacks my bum. We continue to pillow fight until we're both short of breath and dizzy. We're very close now, our breath mixing.

She pushes me back onto the bed. We end up all tangled up on the bed. Suddenly she's straddling me, leaning closer to my lips. I close my eyes, and her lips press against mine briefly. I thread my hands in her short hair and pull her in for another kiss when the door opens.

"Hey guys, oh my god! Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt!" Katie shuts the door quickly, but it's too late. The moment is ruined. We're both blushing like crazy and neither one of us can make eye contact.

"Well, I'm knackered, I'm going to bed." I say loudly, fakely.

"Oh, me too." Naomi agrees quickly. "Night, Fitch"

"Night, Campbell."


	7. Chapter 7

Naomi told me to met her at the train as usual, so I head out around 8.00. I see her before she sees me. She's not wearing her normal business attire; instead she's wearing, of all things, a pig T-shirt and dark jeans.

"Hey, nice shirt you have there."

"Er, thanks. I've had Mr. Piggums for a while now."

"Mr. Piggums? Wow..." He is kind of cuddly, I'll admit.

"Oi, he's a cute pig so lay off of him!" Naomi says with a smile.

"You're a grown woman with a cute pig shirt. Just saying."

"Yeah, whatever. You ready to go?"

"What about Effy? I thought she was coming?"

"Yeah, well she kind of bailed. Said she needed to help with the wedding planning, seeing as we're heading out day after tomorrow."

"Oh. So it's just me and you then?"

"Looks like it. Anyway we'd better go; I want to get a good position."

We slide into the train before it pulls out. We're not talking, but the silence is still comfortable.

"So, what is this rally for anyway?"

Her eyes light up as she answers, "It's against child soldiering and violence against women in wartime. There's this organization in Africa, the LRA, it gets child soldiers. They're forced to commit atrocities at such a young eye; it's horrible. And many of the young girls are forced to become like concubines and are raped by the warlords. I first heard about the Lord's Resistance Army when I was a teenager. It's awful stuff. So every year I send a shitload of money to charities that fight against it. These rallies, I don't know if they do anything, but I hate injustice, so I'd like to think I'm doing my part. I spent a year in Africa working in schools teaching English. It was the most horrifying and amazing time of my life. I learned so much; it was between my second and third year of uni. Those kids, they give me hope." She stops like she's embarrassed. "Sorry for that, you probably don't want to hear my life story."

"No, it's really great. What you've done and continue to do. I really don't know that much about this kind of stuff, but I'd like to."

"Well I'd be more than happy to help you learn." She flashes me a winning smile. "Maybe I could show you the Invisible Children DVD some time.

These sudden changes in Naomi are really throwing me off. One minute she's yelling at me for filing something wrong, the next she's being friendly. Borderline Personality Disorder, maybe?

The rest of the ride we spend just talking about random shit, mainly Katie and Effy's antics.

"We're here," Naomi says. We get off and are immediately immersed in a large crowd. Naomi grabs my hand so we can stay together. If I'm being truthful, I'll admit I got tingles. We continue walking until we get to a small table where two ladies are being bombarded for T-Shirts.

"I've got this, Fitch," Naomi says pulling out a few tenners. "Two mediums and keep the change."

We grab two shirts which we both pull on over our other clothes. We're walking away when I hear an ear-splitting "NAOMI!" followed by a girl that runs over and gives Naomi a huge, tight hug. There's another girl, too, who's trailing behind embarrassedly.

"Hey, Naomi," says the calmer one. "Looong time no see."

The other girl manages to tear herself away from Naomi. That fucking slut. Where does she get off touching her like that. If anyone should be touching her, it should be me! My god, how did I get so jealous? The two girls are staring at Naomi expectantly. For her part she looks like she swallowed something bitter. One of the them, the one who practically jumped on Naomi, is pretty blonde. She has an interesting fashion style to say the least. She's wearing a plaid skirt with rainbow tights and a striped shirt. The other one is brunette, and dressed a bit more, I don't know, less color blind. The bubbly one pokes Naomi with her elbow. "Aren't you going to introduce us, Nai?"

"Uh, sure. This is Lara," she says pointing to the blonde, "And this is Emma."

"I was Naomi's roommate back in the old days. We haven't seen each other in ages. Not since, you know."

No, I didn't know. And whatever it was, Naomi clearly didn't want me to know. She was shooting daggersLara that clearly said "Shut up. Shut up now." Naomi clears her throat loudly.

"I've got to use the loo. I'll be back in a second. Stay here, Ems."

She walks off, leaving me in the care of her two friends. The blonde, Lara, glances over at me.

"Naomi always did have a thing for redheads. Like, a lot. Anyway, I'm glad to see she's moved on. Never thought she would, to be honest, but glad she did. You better not hurt her, you know, because I will find you."

"Slow down, Emma. We don't even know if they're dating."

So Naomi does play for my team! I knew it. I can't keep the grin off my face.

"So you are dating then?"

"No, um, I'm actually her PA. We work together, you know."

"Damn, I thought she'd found a new girlfriend. After what happened, she deserves it."

"I don't actually have any idea what you two are talking about."

"You don't know? Well I don't really think we should be the ones to tell you."

I see Naomi walking back. Lara and Emma say goodbye, and promise to call soon so we can all get together. The rest of the day has a markedly somber mood. Finally we get back on the train.

"Care to come to mine for a drink?" I ask nervously. What if she says no?

"I'm really tired, Fitch, I think I'll have to pass."

"Come on, Naomi, it'll be good. We had fun getting pissed with Katie and Effy, right?"

"Ok. Just a quick drink, though, big day at the office. Last one before we head out to the wedding."

We make our way to the apartment. For reasons I'm not too sure of, I can't stop my heart from thudding. I fumble with putting the key in the door. God, what's happening to me? My living room is messy, spread out with clothes and papers and just random shit. I had forgotten about that. Oh well.

I get us a couple glasses of my nice wine and settle into the couch.

"So the um rally was fun today. I had a lovely time."

"I'm glad," she says, sounding distant. "Did they tell you?"

"Who? Did who tell me what?"

"Don't be stupid, Ems, it doesn't suit you," she snaps. Then she looks sorry. "Look that was mean but you know what Lara and Emma must have told you. About Fiona."

"I really don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh."

"But I'd like to know. If you're willing"

She bites her lip in a way that I find goddamn adorable. "A few years back I met this girl. She was everything I wanted and more. We started dating. Then she became distant. Then she killed herself. I now pour myself into my work so I don't have to deal with the pain. The end."

Her face is emotionless. I move over to hug her. She shies away at first, but then leans in and begins to cry. She covers my shoulder with her tears. At some point I get her up and move her into the bedroom. I was hoping to get her into my bed, just not like this. Somehow suicide puts a damper on my libido. I lay her down on the bed and crawl in next to her. Her whole body is shaking against mine. I want to do something, anything, to soothe her pain. Instead I have to make do with holding her as she lets it all out.


	8. Chapter 8

I awake as the first rays of sunlight permeate my bedroom. I blink a few times, trying to wake myself up. I glance beside me. The bed is empty. Dammit. Naomi must have left sometime last night because I don't see her anywhere. She's probably still really messed up inside, so I need to get to her before, well I don't know what before, but somehow I need to make it better. I don't know when I starting caring this much, but I do. I really like her, not just sexually anymore. She's a genuinely kind and decent person. Funny, too. I flip open my phone and scroll down until I see 'Effy'. I hit send.

"Hello and who the fuck is calling at this hour?" asks Effy sleepily but still pissed off.

"It's Emily. I'm just calling calling 'cuz I'm worried about Naomi. She was pretty messed up last night."

"Who's there, babe?" I can hear Katie calling.

"Just Emily." Effy replies before turning her attention back to me. "How was she messed up exactly?"

"She told me about her girlfriend, the one that killed herself. Fiona."

"Shit, really? She never brings that up. I better go and see her."

"No, no, no. You have your wedding preparations to attend to. We're leaving tomorrow so I bet you have lots to do. Just tell me the address and I'll go."

"Somehow I doubt that it'll be the same, but I'll let you have a shot." She tells me the address, it's some place in the rich part of town. I grab my purse and head out the door. On a whim I stop at the market and pick up all the stuff I need for my grandmother's soup. I get to Naomi's a little more than an hour after I left my flat. I'm shitting myself, to say the least. It's not everyday that you show up unannounced to your boss's flat, especially not when you have a bit, ok more than a bit, of a crush on her. Nope, this has never happened before in my life. I force myself to ring the doorbell. Nothing. I ring it again. Nothing again. I ring it once more. Finally I hear footsteps coming closer. The door opens.

"What the fuck do you want?" Naomi ask, her eyes red-rimmed.

"You, er, left rather early this morning."

"Yeah, well, I had stuff to do."

"I thought you might still be upset. I brought stuff to make my grandmother's world famous soup. Can I come in?"

She doesn't answer, but steps aside to let me in. I gasp as I walk in. It's gorgeous, to say the least. There's a flat screen TV that's massive on one wall, and some comfy looking couches. I make my way over to them, and sit down. I suddenly feel awkward. I don't really know what I was planning on doing.

"So, why do you care if I'm upset?"

"Well I don't want to see anyone in pain, and I'd like to think that we're at least kind of friends."

Naomi doesn't say anything, but I see the tiniest hint of a smile gracing her features.

"Why don't, who don't you tell me about her?" I say, even though I don't want to hear about the girl that had and foolishly threw away Naomi's heart.

"What is there to tell? We met up in my third year of uni. She was beautiful. I wasn't out then; she was the first girl I admitted I was attracted to. She was the light of all my classes. One day I finally got up the courage to talk to her. We chatted in the empty classroom for hours. About politics, about love, about hobbies, just everything. She asked me out on a date. Even though I didn't think I was gay I went. It was the best date I'd ever had. She brought me my favorite kind of flowers, tulips, and we went out to this amazing restaurant. I kissed her that night, and even though she kissed back, she said she didn't want to take it any further than that. At least on our first date. We continued to see each other for three months before we finally slept together. She was so sweet about it; I'd never even been with a girl before. We were pretty much inseparable after that. I asked her to move in with me eight months after our first talk. She agreed. What can I say about the next two years? They were perfect. I was planning on proposing. Then she began to get distant. Didn't talk to me much. I thought she was having an affair. It was tearing me open inside. I confronted her. She said that she didn't love me anymore, and that she wasn't even deserving of my love. No matter what I said, she insisted that I leave. I would have done anything for her so I did. Stupidest mistake of my life. When I came back the next day to grab some of my stuff, I found her on the ground. It was like she was sleeping, Em, just sleeping. I checked her pulse; she didn't have one. She wasn't breathing. She was, she was dead. There's not much left to the story, now. I fell apart, threw myself into work, and now here I am, damaged material."

"You're not damaged. Hey, don't cry. We're going to get up and chop vegetables and tell funny stories and maybe watch a bad TV movie, yeah?"

"Ok."

We went into the kitchen, which was outfitted with state of the art appliances. I minced garlic while she chopped onions, the gas making us both teary. The soup was soon done so I ladle it out into bowls.

"This is fucking top notch, Ems. Mmm, so good." She has a little soup mustache, which makes her look like an adorable five year old. We continue to eat the soup as I regale her with stories about Katie and I when we were kids. It's getting to be about three in the afternoon. Naomi looks tired; I don't think she went to sleep last night.

"C'mon, we're going to take a nap." Naomi looks like she's going to object, but I grab her by the arm and drag her to the bedroom. I slide into the bed and bring her with me. Even though I had a full night's sleep last night, I feel myself drifting off. I'm awakened by soft kisses to my neck.


	9. Chapter 9

Naomi is half straddling me as she leans down to kiss my neck. When she sees I'm awake, she grins and pecks me on the lips.

"Morning, sleepyhead," she says lightly.

"What precipitated this?" I ask, struggling to get out from under her. Not that I'm not totally enjoying it.

She doesn't answer, just leans down and gives me a slow, lingering kiss. Yes, there was tongue and involved, and yes, I did kiss back. My heart is racing. It's not often that I, little Emily Fitch, am in a bed with a really hot girl. A really hot girl who seems interested in me. I pull her down for another kiss. This one is as passionate as the first. She runs her tongue across my bottom lip. I gladly let her in.

I'm finally forced to pull away as the need for air is too great. Naomi doesn't let me go for long; she attacks my lips again. Her hand slips under my shirt and runs up and down my back. She begins to pull the shirt off, which I gladly help her do. Her shirt is next, followed by our pants. Soon we're just down to our bras and panties; I'm panting heavily. We resume our kissing, more fervently than before.

Wait, Naomi," I manage to get out between kisses, "I can't, I can't do this. It's not right. You're vulnerable right now. I would be taking advantage."

"Does it seem like you're taking advantage?" Naomi replies, her eyes darker than I've ever seen them.

"Yes." Realization hits me hard. "In fact, I think you're using me. You want a quick fuck, but you're not ready for the emotional commitment. You can't be."

"For fuck's sake, Em, it's not like we're getting married. I want this. And I know you want this; I'm not blind, I've seen the looks you've given me. As for me not being ready, I've screwed loads of people since Fio—since her. How can I not be ready?"

"Oh yeah? And how many of them have you called back, how many of them were one night stands? You can't even say her name without breaking down." She's silent, her face betraying her. I continue, "I really, really like you. I don't want to fuck up any chance we could have by moving to quickly. I want to take you out to dinner, see a movie, go to the park. I want us to be an 'us' before we get together like that. I want us to make love, not have a quick 'n' dirty shag."

She looks angry. I'm almost scared that she's going to slap me. But no, she does nothing except for sliding off of me and putting on her pants. "I think you should go, Fitch."

"Naomi, you're not being fair. Let me stay; you're obviously upset."

"No, Emily, you don't have the right to say that. I put myself out there and you rejected me. And you're right, I was just looking for a quick shag. Do you honestly think I'm interested in you apart from you being hot? I don't want to go out to dinner or go to the park or see a movie with you. We're never going to be an 'us'. I've learned the hard way that I don't need anyone."

"I know you're lonely, Naomi. I think you need someone to want you. Well, I do want you. So be brave and want me back. Actually like _me_, not just for a fuck. I know it's hard, opening up after something like this happened. But you'll never get over it if you never let anyone in to help."

"Fuck you. I want you out of my house, now!"

I resign myself to leaving. I pull on my shirt and pants as quickly as possible, then lean over to kiss Naomi on the cheek. She recoils at first but allows me to do it all the same.

"I'll see you tomorrow after we get to the Bahamas."

She doesn't reply, just stares at the wall. I'm slightly annoyed with her puerile behavior, but really what can I do? Once I get back to my flat I begin to pack. Fuck, why did I wait this long? It takes me almost an hour to finish, and then I'm exhausted again.

I lug my bag out the door, God it's heavy. I've packed all the essentials plus a bunch of random of shit that I probably won't use. I'm not the lightest packer I admit. As I'm walking out the door, I bump into Lawrence, my fit neighbor. Yeah, yeah, I'm gay and everything, but that doesn't mean I can't admire a fine piece of man-candy.

"Oops. Sorry, Emily, didn't see you there."

"Oh, it's fine. My fault, really."

"Can I help you with your bags? I've a flight to catch myself." He indicates to the duffel bag on his shoulder. Did I mention he's got a huge crush on me and has been trying to get me to date him ever since I moved in. Flattering really, but it gets to be a little much. Except of course when it comes in handy. Like now. What, he's athletic, ok?

"Thanks, that would be amazing. I'm running a little late to tell you the truth." He hoists my bag up and we walk briskly towards the train. Just as we're walking in I see her. Shit. Of course she's taking the train at the same time as me, that's fucking wonderful. I try to hide behind Lawrence's bulk, but it's too no avail. Her stormy blue eyes catch mine, and she gives me one of her characteristic Naomi scowls. I'm cowering in the corner when I think up a scheme. A dastardly scheme. Ok, not really dastardly at all. I move in closer to Lawrence, and whisper in his ear in what I hope looks like a sexy tone, "Go along with this or I'll kick you so hard in the balls that they'll come out your mouth."

He pales at my words, and gives me a discreet nod. I lean over and kiss him full on the mouth. He pulls back for the tiniest of seconds, then eagerly returns the kiss with vigor. And tongue. Ew. I pretend to be enjoying our little game of tonsil hockey, while trying to covertly glance over at Naomi. She looks furious. Perfectly executed, Emily. I try to break apart from Lawrence, but he seems insistent that our lips stay locked. Finally I manage to get away, er, I mean end our loving kiss. Lawrence leans over to me, "I don't know what you're doing, but I like it." The smell of his cologne is overpowering. I try to refrain from gagging. Grabbing his hand, I drag him over to Naomi.

"Naomi, I'd like for you to meet my ex, Lawrence."

He sticks out his hand for her to shake; she looks at it with disdain before finally grasping it in hers. "You two seem very, uh, close."

"We're still very tight," I reply as I feel his hand drifting southward towards my ass. What a pig. I give him a lovestruck glance. "Still close, er, _friends_. We're neighbors, so it's easy for us when, you know, we need a place to um-"

"Shag, yeah, I got it." Her face is painted with jealously. My plan is working, I see.

"So what time is your flight, Naomi?"

"10.40."

"Mine too! What a coincidence!"

"Not much of a coincidence, actually. There aren't that many flights to the Bahamas." Her voice is cold.

"You're probably in first class anyway."

"No, why would I waste my money on that?"

"I don't know, you're rich?"

"I take the train to work everyday, do you think I could suspend being cheap for long enough to spring for a first class ticket?"

"Guess not. Well I'll probably see you when we get there. Bye, Naomi."

She scowls again and looks away. Between the two of them, she and Effy are a right gloomy pair. I pull Lawrence back to our seats.

"So, Emily, you've got the hots for me, eh?" He whispers lecherously in my ear.

I pull him in closer, trying to look as intimate as possible "Lawrence, you've got about as much chance with me as you do Naomi Campbell. The, uh, supermodel one."

Naomi's glaring has reached a new level of ferocity. If looks could kill, Lawrence would be dead on the floor. Oh yeah, she totally wants me. Or she's swallowed something sour. Lawrence keeps his arm around me for the entirety of the ride, blech. I do not see the appeal of bulging muscles and man-smell. I get to the airport with barely enough time to check in. I look at my ticket-7F. When I get to my seat I'm met with another not-so-unwelcome surprise. Naomi again.

"Jesus Christ," she says, sounding infuriated, "Of all the people, it had to be you, didn't it."

"I'm sorry you're so displeased to see me," I say sarcastically as I take my seat. Goddamn, the seats are tiny; I'm practically falling over into her lap. Not that I'm complaining or anything. The plane takes off and I begin to drift off; I had a late night. I don't get much sleep, though; I feel a hand pushing me away. It seems I fell asleep on Naomi's shoulder.

"Sorry," I mumble, "Didn't mean to."

"Just don't to it again," she replies. Her face contorts into something nasty, "And all I can say is that I'm sorry I'm not _Lawrence._ You move quickly, I see. Wasn't it just yesterday that you were falling all over me?

"What can I say, he's charming. Attentive, too."

"I didn't even know that you were into men. Thought you preferred the fairer sex."

"Normally I do, but he's the exception. He's special, he makes me swoon. And in bed, oh my God! He's, well, let's just say-" I trail off when I see Naomi's expression. Completely and utterly enraged to say the least. She grabs my hand and pulls me towards the bathroom stalls. When we reach the little aisle, she slams me into the wall and presses her lips to mine. I try to pull away, mainly because I'm extremely confused, but she holds my head in tighter. I begin to kiss back, slipping my tongue out to caress hers. She gladly accepts it and we continue to kiss for several more minutes.

"I can't stand it, I can't," she breathes out between kisses.

"S'ok, it's ok," I murmur back.

She pulls away, and we're both panting. I steal another kiss before she gasps out, "Wait. Let me get this out. Seeing you with him, it made my blood boil. I, I do care you about you, like you. A lot. And it scares me to be honest."

I'm stunned by her admission.


	10. Chapter 10

We make our way back to our seats silently. I'm bursting with questions but I just can't seem to vocalize what I'm thinking. The silence is deafening; we're determinedly not looking at each other. Finally when I can't stand it anymore I say, "Naomi, we really need to talk."

"I don't want to talk," she replies coldly, pulling out her iPod.

"No, Naomi! Don't you dare put those headphones in!"

"Watch me," she shoots back as she slips them in with a look that says 'bite me'.

Fuck. It seems we're back at square one. And we're going to be sitting next to each other for what, another three or so hours. I am not wasting this opportunity. I seize the earbuds and pull them out of her ears.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" Naomi asks angrily.

"Because we are going to talk, Naomi Campbell. You and me. _You _kissed me. Not the other way around. And _you_ told me you were interested."

"Excuse me, I didn't say I was interested. I said I _liked _you. And not in the 'let's jump into a relationship' kind of way. In the 'we're still never going to get together' kind of way."

"Trouble in paradise?" asks the man sitting next to Naomi.

"Mind you own fucking business," she snaps back at him.

"Naomi, be nice! I'm sorry, she has some issues."

"Oh, so now you're apologizing for me like I'm your unruly child? Nice, Em, nice. Already talking for me and we're not even together."

"Oh don't make this about me, you practically bit his head off. Don't be such a child."

"Yeah, well he shouldn't have butted in! I have a right mind to tell him off again. In fact-"

She continues but I'm past the point of listening. I take a deep breath. This is either going work perfectly or it's going to blow up in my face. I grab the back of her head and force her into a kiss, mainly just to shut her up. She pulls back almost instantly. "Fitch, I'm still mad as hell, you know," she grumbles before pulling me in for another kiss. Her anger is making her rough and sloppy. I don't even care that we're in a crowded plane full of people, I lean into the kiss and deepen it. Seconds pass slowly as we both melt. A whistle and a cat call from some assholes finally breaks us out of our reverie.

"Naomi, we can't just keep kissing without talking about it."

"I know," she agrees quietly. "I don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet. I know it's been almost four years, but I'm not up to being that vulnerable."

"It's ok, Naomi. I'm not really suggesting that we jump into anything. We can start out slow, a movie or dinner or something. It'll be really relaxed; I won't expect anything. We can even just be friends."

She bites her lip in the way that I find adorable and nods. "That sounds good to me. I'll promise to try not to be so bipolar about the way I treat you; I really don't mean to be a bitch."

"So it's a date then? Not that it has to be a date, it could be a friend-date, not that friends go on dates, I just mean it would be a set time that we would be doing something, so-"

She cuts me off, "Yeah. Sometime next week?"

"I'll call you, ok?"

We fall into comfortable silence. Naomi pulls her iPod back out, but this time she hands me an earbud. "Care to listen?"

"Sounds good."

She hits play and I hear a familiar sound.

"It's Bearbot!" I exclaim. "You looked her up!"

"Yeah, well you had such rave reviews, so I thought I'd give them a try. I really like all the songs."

"Oh, me too. I like pretty much all of their songs." We continue to talk about bands for a while, then we get to the subject of movies and books, and before we know it we're landing. We go through all the formalities which takes fucking forever then we're free. Katie and Effy are already here, as our the parents. We're standing next to a taxi stand waiting for one to come.

"So this resort is about 15 miles from here, care to share a cab?"

"Yeah, of course."

We clamber into the cab when it comes, and resume our in-flight discussion.

"So then I say 'if you're going to act like a crack-headed carnival freak, go ahead and join the circus'. So he quit and here you are."

I laugh at her description of her previous PA. Sounds like she wasn't just a bitch to me, then.

"So you always treat your PAs this hard, then?"

"What? I don't treat you hard, this is a cushy position, ok?"

"Cushy, my ass. You're always yelling at me."

"Well it's because I got the maturity of a two year old, ok? I liked you so I yelled at you," she admits with an abashed grin. She chuckles, "I was hoping you wouldn't discover my hidden motives for picking on you."

"No, I thought you just hated me."

"Nah, I kind of had a crush since I met you on that train. You're pretty hot, you know."

"Well thank you, I agree," I say with a smile. I open my mouth to day something else, but I'm cut off by the driver.

"We're here," he says, "That'll be $45.00."

I reach into my purse to grab some money, but Naomi beats me to it.

"What? I've got shitloads of money."

She a gentleman, that's for sure. We make our way into the hotel when we see Effy and Katie sitting in the lobby.

"Oh my God, you're here!" Katie squeals loudly as she runs across the lobby, crashing into me as she gives me a bone crushing hug. "I can't believe it! You're here, we're here, and I'm getting married!"

"Don't wet yourself, hon," I say with a grin.

"Har, har, Ems."

Effy walks over and pulls Katie into her side, "Don't worry, I already made her put on her incontinence pants, didn't I, love?"

Katie scowls darkly, "You two are riot. Ha." Her face brightens, "I'm not letting you spoil my fun, though, I'm getting fucking married in one day"

"I think the fucking comes _after_ the wedding, Katie," Naomi interjects, jabbing Effy in the ribs conspiratorially. Ew, gross, now I'm thinking of naked Effy again.

"You losers need to stop picking on me! It's my fucking wedding and you lot need to be at my beck and call, not picking on me!"

Naomi and I look at each other, raising our eyebrows. "Sure, Katie, sure."

Effy is looking at us with that damned mysterious look that seems to be perennially on her face. "So, what's going on with you two then?"

Naomi makes this big show of acting surprised. It seems she doesn't want Effy to know of the recent developments in our relationship. I'm all to happy to oblige; I don't want the Spanish Inquisition from Katie either.

"Nothing, Ef, nothing. We're just friendly. You know chatting. Like friends. Just as friends, you know?" Jesus Christ, she's flailing. Fucking awful liar.

"What she's trying to say is that, well, we've put aside our differences. We're going to be friends now, right Naomi?"

Effy looks unconvinced, simply raises her eyebrows and says, "_Right_."

"The reservation is under the name 'Emily Fitch'," I tell the woman at the front desk.

"Yes, ma'am, we have a reservation for a queen size bed under that name. Your room is 203, here's your key." I decide to wait for Naomi because I rather want to finish the conversation we were having on the plane.

"The name is 'Naomi Campbell'."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but we have no record of a reservation under the name 'Naomi Campbell'."

Naomi turns to me, looking confused, and says, "Ems, what name did you put the reservation under?"

What? What name did _I_ put the reservation under? "I don't get your meaning, Naomi, I didn't make your reservation."

Her eyes bulge out, "You didn't make the reservation? What the fuck!"

"Why would I have made _your _reservation?"

"I don't know, maybe because you're my personal assistant. I think that qualifies as assisting."

"Shit. Well obviously I didn't make the arrangement so I guess you'll just have to request a room now."

The receptionist clears her throat, "Um, sorry, ma'am, but we're clear booked up. I can try putting you in another hotel, but there aren't any around here."

"Fuck," Naomi swears angrily, "I'm blaming this entirely on you, Fitch."

"Hey, why don't you just stay in my room. I have a queen, that's big enough for both of us."

"I guess that will have to do. Shit, you can't be trusted with anything, can you?"

"Don't blame this on me, Naomi. You never told me I should make your reservation; I thought you were old enough to make it yourself. You're what, 28? Definitely old enough to plan your own vacation."

"First off, I'm 27, second, you're my fucking PA, making reservations is what you do!"

We continue to bicker until we get to the room. It's spacious and there's a beautiful view.

"So, what now?" I ask Naomi.

"I'm still pissed, you know. And I'm not sure, the rehearsal dinner is tonight, but before that we don't really have anything. I have some work I should do, but I think I'll go to the pool, it looks beautiful."

"I'll go too. You can change in the bathroom first."

When she comes out, I have to concentrate on not letting my jaw drop. She looks fucking sexy in her two piece red bikini. She bites her lip in the way I find utterly adorable, and asks, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

My mouth is suddenly dry. "Um, you know, just cuz you look kind of hot."

She smiles assuredly, "Yeah, I know. You, er, too."

I grin coyly, "Me what?"

"Jesus, you look hot, alright?" Her face is red; I love that I have that effect on her.

We make our way down to the pool where we see JJ, Pandora, and Thomas engaged in animated conversation.

"Hi, Jones, Moon, Tomone," Naomi says as she takes a seat.

"Bonkers, it's weird seeing you outside of work," Pandora exclaims excitedly.

"Yes, love, it is certainly different seeing Campbell in a bathing suit instead of her usual clothes."

"I can see your breasts rather well," JJ blurts out, though it's not clear which of us he's talking to, "Bobbins."

"Try and keep the eyes up here, buddy," I say to him, pointing at my face.

"Yes, I can try, but it is stimulating me sexually to be around such beautiful ladies when they are not wearing enough clothes to amount to the amount needed for me not to be excited."

Naomi raises her eyebrows. "Ok," she drags out. "I'll be over there in that cabana, drinking a strawberry daiquiri. Ems, you coming?"

We go over to the bar, get our drinks, and sit in the cabana. I begin to tan when I notice Naomi staring at me intently.

"What's wrong?" I ask, concerned.

"Nothing, it's just, well, it's just, you look _really_ hot in that bikini."

I grin, life is good.

Sorry it's not that great...Please leave a review, it makes my day.

I poke Naomi again. "Naomi," I whine, "C'mon and get in the pool. It'll be refreshing."

"Emily! I've already told you like 5000 times that I'm not getting in. Give it up."

"But it won't be fun without you. Hey, I spot a grin right there. You know you want to get in."

"Shit, Fitch, you're too damn persistent. I'll get in, but my hair better not get wet."

"Yay!" I drag her over to the pool, then cautiously dip my toe in. "The water's perfect."

She puts her foot in the water, "What the hell are you talking about? It's freezing."

"That's why-" I shove her into the pool "-You have to get in all at once."

"You bitch, I'll get you back!" she squeals loudly as she splashes me. I take a running leap and cannonball into the pool, getting JJ and Panda wet. Naomi swims over to me with a 'come hither' look on her face. I lick my lips subconsciously and meet her halfway.

"Ems," she breathes out in a way that I find all too sexy, "Do you know what I want to do to you?"

She's right at my ear now, and without a care to our friends and coworkers who are watching, I start to melt into her body. No luck there. Naomi seizes my legs from in the water and completely dunks me under. I come up, gasping and spluttering, to find her grinning like a loon.

"That was fun," she manages to get out between laughs.

"Bitch!" I yell as I grab her from behind and shove her under the water. "How do you like them apples, asshat!"

JJ climbs cautiously into the pool as Naomi emerges from the water.

"Hey, Jay, we're having fun. Join us!" I shout over to him as he swims over.

"No, er, thanks. I've just eaten and there is a high probability of my getting stomach cramps if I engage in any physical activity."

"Lighten up," Naomi says, smiling.

"Naomi, you're acting very out of character. Has something happened that has changed you outlook? To be frank, normally you are, well, a _bitch_," he says, lowering his voice on the last word.

"Why the fuck wouldn't I be acting this way, JJ? I'm in the sun at my fucking best mate's wedding. Life is good!"

Ok, so now even I'm wondering if Naomi is bipolar. But I don't care either way, so I reach over and grab JJ's head and push him under.

"Not fair, Emily!" he cries out. "I wanted to know if you had any suntan lotion that I could borrow?"

"Yeah, sure, it's up in my red bag in the room. Here's my key." I clamber out of the water and retrieve the hotel passkey. JJ disappears for a few minutes, then returns with the lotion. He slathers himself up before jumping back in. Soon enough we have JJ, Pandora, Thomas, and even Freddie playing a massive game of "who can dunk the others more". It's gets to be later and we eventually have to leave to take showers before the rehearsal dinner.

"Go ahead, Naomi," I say once we get to the room, "You can shower first."

"Thanks."

I wrap myself in my towel and recline on the bed as I wait for her to be done. When she finally comes out, it's all I can do to not jump her bones right then and there. The towel is skimpy to say the least, and there are rivulets of water coming down her skin.

"Em. Ems. Emily!" she yells, "I'm out."

"Oh. Uh, yeah, I'll, uh, just go and uh, bathe now."

She smirks because she knows what she's doing to me. I climb in the shower and make sure it's cold because frankly I need a cold shower. I towel my hair off and walk back into the room. Naomi is channel flipping, still wearing the skimpy towel.

"Why didn't you change?" I ask, confused.

She turns to me for the first time, and her jaw drops. Without a word, she strides over to me and presses her lips to mine. I eagerly return the kiss, and deepen it. I push her back towards the bed, all the while keeping our lips firmly together. Naomi falls back against the bed as I continue to kiss her senseless.

"God," she moans out, "I never figured you to be a top."

"Better get used to it," I say as a lay soft kisses down her neck. We both still have our towels tightly wrapped around us, something I'm all to eager to change. We're both panting at this point, and I don't think I've ever been this fucking turned on. Naomi's eyes are practically black with desire. I straddle her waist as we passionately kiss. I make a move to take off her towel.

"Wait, Ems," she gasps out, "This isn't right."

"What's wrong, Naomi?" I'm confused, I admit it.

She bites her lip, "Well I feel stupid even suggesting this but, well..."

"Go on," I encourage.

"I want, well I want our first time to mean something. We haven't even gone on a date. I really like you and I don't want to ruin this by jumping into bed, ok?"

My heart melts. I lean down to kiss her, to tell her that I want the same thing, when I hear a noise.

"Shitification!" JJ is standing in the doorway, holding the key I gave him earlier.


	11. Chapter 11

"What the fuck!" I yell angrily as I leap off of Naomi. Unfortunately for me, I didn't secure my towel beforehand. Shit. Now I'm standing naked in front of my best friend and my boss. Fuck me now. I glance over at Naomi to see her licking her lips hungrily. So maybe it's not that bad. Of course JJ has to go and interrupt our little moment.

"Emily, I can see your breasts completely. And I can see-" his voice takes on a hushed tone "-your _you know_."

"Thanks for the update, Jay," I mutter as I pull the towel back around me. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Well, I didn't know if you knew that the rehearsal dinner is starting in," he looks at his watch, "twenty-three minutes. I just wanted you guys to know. I had no idea you two were in that kind of relationship."

"We're not," interjects Naomi nervously.

"Right, right," says JJ with a knowing smile. "Of course you're not."

Naomi scowls, "Wait outside for me, ok Jones?"

"Right, outside, ok. I'll just be out there waiting. So if you need me, that's where I'll be. Just outside wai-"

"JJ!" Naomi and I say at the same time.

"Sorry, I was getting locked on, wasn't I?"

I reach over and pat him on the arm, "Just go outside, Jay; we'll be there in a second." He nods and goes outside, leaving just Naomi and me. We stare at each other for a few seconds.

"Well this is awkward," Naomi says trying to break the silence.

"Yeah. Listen, about what you said earlier-"

"It was stupid, yeah I know," she interrupts.

"No, wait for me to finish, ok? I actually think it's really sweet and adorable that you want to wait. I think we should wait too, yeah?"

A huge grin explodes on Naomi's face. She strides across the room and takes my face in her hands before firmly placing a lingering kiss on my lips. "That doesn't mean we can't do some heavy make-outs, does it Fitch?"

"I don't know, Campbell, I usually don't kiss on the first date."

"But this isn't a date, is it Ems?"

"Guess not," I say as I lean in to kiss her again. We kiss languidly for what seems like an eternity, but in reality we're soon broken apart by the sound of the door.

"Jesus, JJ!" I say exasperatedly, turning towards the door.

"Not JJ," says Effy with a smirk. JJ shuffles into the room behind her.

He begins babbling, "I tried to get her to stop, but she was unstoppable. Like a raging crack monkey! Or a kangaroo on acid! Like your mum when she's on my co-"

"JJ, you're getting locked on! And Effy, I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me get dressed before you come back in. Not all of us are comfortable in the nude."

Naomi snorts and adds, "Yeah, Ef, not all of us like our ass-cheeks hanging out. Let Emily and I get dressed, yeah?"

Effy smiles, "Yeah, sure, I'll just be having a smoke. But we are going to talk, Naomi."

Effy shoos JJ out of the door. I think it's finally time to get dressed.

"I'll be in the bathroom putting on my clothes, ok?"

"Sure. I'll, uh, I'll change out here I guess."

We quickly get dressed, apply a little makeup, and then stand nervously in front of the door.

"So what exactly are we going to say we were doing?" Naomi asks apprehensively.

"I have no idea. Um, you were bitten by a snake on your lips, and I was sucking the venom out?"

"Ha, ha, Fitch. Funny. I'm just wondering how to tell my fucking best friend and HR VP that I'm interested in one of my employees. My fucking PA."

"Look, we'll just tell her that we like each other and that's all she needs to know, yeah?"

"That's well good and everything if we're trying to sound like we're in first grade. 'We like each other', Jesus Christ that sounds infantile."

"Do you have a better suggestion? Hmm?"

"Ok, we'll do it your fucking way."

I grab her hand and kiss the back of it. "Look, it's not like we're not both consenting adults. You're out, I'm out, and Effy and JJ aren't our parents. It'll be fine."

She nods, then we head out to face the music. Effy is leaning against the wall looking smug.

"So, you two then?"

Naomi takes a deep breath, "IlikeEmilyandEmilylikesmesowe'regoingtotrydatingpleasedon'ttellanyone,ok?

"Pardon?"

I jump in, "Naomi and I have, er, _feelings_, for each other and we're going to act on those feelings. We'd be happy if you two were, well, _discreet_."

Effy breaks into a grin, a real one that makes her look more kind and approachable, and punches Naomi in the arm. "Get it, girl!"

"We'd be best going to the rehearsal dinner now," JJ says anxiously, "We don't want to be late."

I'm so fucking sexually frustrated. Naomi completely turned me on, but I didn't get my release. Damn. I can't keep from glancing at her during the dinner. She looks gorgeous. Katie and Effy are glowing, too. They look really happy, and I'm beginning to realize that if I have to give Katie up to someone, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it was Effy. For her part, she's smiling genuinely, not in that know-it-all smirk of hers, and laughing with the guests. There really isn't much point in having a rehearsal dinner since there's only about twenty-five people, but hey, it's their decision.

We're finally finished with the rehearsal dinner, it took fucking ages. I'm to go with Katie, Thomas, Cook, and assorted friends and relatives to her bacherlorette party while Naomi, Panda, Freddie, and JJ go to Effy's. Effy and Katie kiss goodbye, presumably for the last time until the wedding, and then we're off. I can't helping thinking about how I wish I could kiss Naomi as I watch them practically mauling each other with the intensity of their kiss. I'm a bit sad that I can't go with Naomi, but she obviously wants to be at her best mate's party.

So this bacholerette party officially sucks ass. There's only one club around here, and yes, it's also a strip joint. Effy ended up coming here too, big surprise considering the panoply of choices. Katie and Effy aren't even paying attention to their drinks or the strippers, they're too busy staring into each other's eyes or some other gay shit like that. I grab my margarita and make my way through the pulsing crowd to get to Naomi.

"Hey," I say, slightly out of breath.

"A little winded there, Fitch? Don't have much endurance, do you."

I wink at her and say seductively, "Sure I have stamina. When it counts that is."

"Mmm, sounds good Fitch."

I lean up to kiss her, but she pulls back. "No, Ems, not here. Not with your sister watching and half of my employees. How would it look if I were seen kissing my PA."

I pout, sticking my bottom lip out. "Naomi, you screwed me over earlier by not screwing me. Don't fuck me over now, too!"

"Jesus Christ, it's all about the sex with you, isn't it. Keep it in your pants."

I laugh, and pull her towards the bar, "We need to get you a drink. What do you want?"

"Um, sex on the beach."

"Me too, me too. But what drink do you want?"

"Ha ha, Fitch. Real funny."

"I try. I crack myself up."

"Good to know at least one person enjoys your lame jokes."

I punch her shoulder, "Don't be mean, Campbell, you're ruining my self esteem."

We get her a drink, and then I pull her towards the dance floor. "Dance with me, Naomi, please?"

She shakes her head, and looks around nervously. Panda and Thomas are at a booth in one corner; JJ, Cook, and Freddie are watching the strippers; and Katie and Effy are immersed in each other. "Ok, Fitch, one dance."

I begin to sway to the beat of the song. I grind up against Naomi who moans loudly into my ear. Maybe it isn't the best idea to get us so turned on when we both know we're not going to fuck later. I push this logical idea out of my mind as I continue to dance.

"Jesus Christ, Ems, you're killing me," Naomi gasps into my ear. "I want you so badly."

I turn around and press a kiss to her neck, "Well you're not going to have me, so you better get over that."

"You're such a fucking tease, Ems," she says breathing raggedly.

"Oh, I know," I reply with a grin.

"Two can play at this game," she mutters. I feel her hands snake up my sides, reaching under my shirt. I lean back against her body as the song continues to play.

"What are you two doing?" Effy says with a scowl.

Naomi leaps away from me as though she's been hit with a hot poker. "Jesus, Effy, you scared me."

"Yeah, well you two were in your own little world. Speaking of which, you guys need to be careful. Anyone could see you."

"Yeah, we know. So how goes the party?"

"Fine, Katie's in the loo."

Naomi looks pretty flustered still, so I suggest we go and sit down. Once we're seated, a stripper immediately comes over and offers Naomi a lap dance.

"No thanks," she says politely.

"Are you sure?" the stripper says in a husky tone. "I'd be more than happy to do it."

"I'm good actually, but thanks anyway."

"Free of charge for you." She leans over Naomi, completely exposing her tits as in an attempt to straddle her, an attempt which Naomi valiantly tries to refuse.

This bitch needs to give it up. "Look, ho, listen up and listen good. She does not want one of your lap dances, she probably wants not to get an STD. So take your skanky ass elsewhere. Ok, bitch?"

The stripper, excuse me _exotic dancer_, huffs and walks away, calling out, "You'll regret it!"

Naomi turns to me, biting her lip. "You stood up for me."

I can't tell if she's happy or mad about it, so I smile and say lightly, "Yeah, of course."

"That was so fucking sexy. Do you know what I want to do to you right now?"

"Don't tell me, I don't think I can stand not doing anything. But I do want to wait, so we're not just going to screw that."

Naomi puts on a feigned look of shock, "Sex, Fitch? I was going to say take you out for ice cream, but no, you had to make it dirty, didn't you?"

"Ice cream, eh? Think we can get some now?"

"I don't know, but I thought I saw a big ice cream cone sign a few miles from here."

"Well, let's go then. I'll go tell Katie and Effy. Wait, should we be leaving them at their bacholerette parties?"

"It's fine, not like they're alone or anything. And now I really want some ice cream, so let's go."

I make our goodbyes to Katie and Effy, and then we take a cab to the ice cream shop. And strangely enough, it was open at 11.30. Weird, huh.


	12. Chapter 12

"So, Ems, what will you have?"

I look up at the board with all the flavors. "I don't know. They all look so good, Let's see, I think I'll have a sundae with chocolate, peanut butter cup, and white chocolate ice cream, topped with hot fudge, whipped cream, and a cherry."

"Geez, Fitch, you're a little piggy, aren't you?"

"Hey, I have a healthy appetite, ok?"

"Whatever you say, fattie."

I put on a sad smile, and say in a hurt tone, "Naomi, I have a low self esteem, please don't make fun of my weight. Do you really think I'm unattractive? I guess I shouldn't eat anything."

"Oh my god, I'm sorry, Ems, I was just joking! I don't think you're fat at all. You're really fit and just, I don't know, _hot_. Jesus, I didn't mean it." She looks terrified at my reaction, at least until I break into a wicked grin.

"You bitch! I was feeling really bad I'll have you know!"

"You should feel bad, teasing a girl about her weight is nothing funny."

"Aw, shove it, Fitch. Anyway, onto better subjects. I'll have a mint chocolate chip cone, please."

The ice cream girl fixes our cones. Naomi reaches into her pants pocket for her wallet, but I beat her to it. She looks at me with a miffed expression. "Fitch, why didn't you let me pay?"

"Because you always pay. I want to pull my weight, ok? Besides it's only ice cream."

"Guess so. But next time, I'm getting the bill, yeah?"

"Oh, so you think there's going to be next time, do you?"

"Well I'm awesome, you're pretty awesome, so together we're going to be super awesome, so yeah, I think there will be a next time. Unless of course you don't want there to be a next time." She looks so nervous and insecure at the last part that I have to fling my arms around her neck and plant a kiss on her lips. She moves to deepen the kiss, but I break apart with a wink. "Later, Naomi, later."

"Jesus, you're such a tease, Fitch. You're killing me here!"

An old man harrumphs at her words. Naomi turns to him, annoyed, and says, "Excuse me, can I help you with something?"

"No," he pauses, "This is a quiet town and you are disgraceful young women."

"Yeah? So go fuck yourself. Tosser!"

"I will not have women such as yourself talking to me like that! In the bible, homosexuality is forbidden. You are going against God. Leave here now or face his wrath."

Naomi looks like she's going to hit him, but she takes a deep breath, then laughs menacingly. "Ok, loser, you have five seconds to get out of here before I kick your arse. I really don't give a fuck that you're geriatric. I will shove your fucking bible up your arse until it comes out over your dentures. One. Two. Three. I'm getting closer to five."

The man looks scared and quickly gathers his stuff, knocking over a chair as he runs out. Naomi smiles and looks at me, "Now that we've got all that sorted out, we can eat our ice cream in peace."

"Christ, you're scary when you're mad. I hope I never get on your bad side!"

"Yeah, well I could never stay mad at you. So how about this ice cream?"

I nod and began to eat my sundae. It's so creamy and rich that I can't help but moan.

Naomi looks pained, "Fucking Hell, Fitch, you have to make even eating ice cream sexy. You're killing me!"

I smile at her and bring up a spoonful of sundae. I slip my tongue out of my mouth and slowly encircle the cold ice cream with it. Naomi's eyes are bugging out of her face. I finish my teasing by slipping the spoon into my mouth and cleaning it dry. I notice with happiness that Naomi is swallowing heavily.

"T-t-two can play at that game," she stutters out. I watch, interested, as she shakily brings her cone up to her face and then misses her mouth entirely, hitting her nose with the ice cream. Yeah, I know it's mean, but I can't help but laugh.

"You're such a loser," I choke out between laughs.

"Well, you're just a, a _meanie_!"

I chuckle and lean over towards her, licking the ice cream off her nose. "Sweet."

Her eyes darken at the contact, and she grabs my wrist. "We've got to go back to the hotel. Now. Fuck what I said earlier."

I nod eagerly and toss the remains of my sundae into the bin. We rush outside, but unfortunately there's no cab.

"Shit," Naomi swears angrily. "Goddammit!"

"Hey," I say reassuringly, "It'll be okay."

I pull out my phone and call the cab service.

We stumble into the hotel room, kissing hurriedly as we do. I push Naomi back onto the bed and straddle her. I lay kisses down her neck, sucking near her collarbone hard enough to leave a mark. She wriggles out of her pants with some help from me. I pull at her shirt angrily, the damn thing won't come off.

"You're wearing too much clothing," she gasps out, tugging at the bottom of my shirt.

I open my mouth to say something, but I'm interrupted by knocking at the door.

"Jesus, who could that be?" Naomi asks angrily.

"I don't know, let's just ignore it."

The knocking resumes loudly, and I hear a voice yell, "Open up, bitches!"

"Christ, it's Katie," I moan. "What do you want?"

"I need a place to kip tonight! I can't be with Ef the night before the wedding, everyone knows that."

"Fine. I'll be there in a second." I throw Naomi her pants; she quickly pulls them and her shirt on. I adjust my clothes and answer the door. Katie barrels in, carrying a huge bag, considering she's only going to be in here for a night.

"What are you doing here?" she asks Naomi.

"I'm staying with Em because I don't have a room. Guess I'll go in with Effy tonight." She gathers up her stuff and leaves with a 'bye Ems, Katie'.

I am so fucking pissed off.

Katie comes over and plops on my bed. "So, sleeping with the bitch, eh?"

I flush red, how could she know? "Wha-what are you talking about?" I stutter out nervously.

"Relax, Ems, I'm joking, yeah? Jesus, you're acting like you really are fucking her." She shakes her head, and I'm glad that she's a bit dense. "So anyway, you're not biting her head off, are you? Cuz she's a real bitch when you get on her bad side, believe me."

I feel obliged to defend her, "Hey, she's not so bad. She can be really nice once you get to know her."

Katie scoffs, "Like you know her. She's a closed book, okay? Me and Eff have been having her round for dinner for almost a year, and I still don't know her too well. Just sits there drinking her wine and scowling."

I feel more than a bit hurt. "You've been having _Naomi_ over for dinner with you and Effy, and you've never once had me?"

A look of guilt crosses her face. "Well, Emsy, it's just that Naomi is, well, _damaged_. She needs to see Effy every so often. When Eff and I started dating, it severely cut into "Effy-Naomi" time. Something, er, _bad_ happened to her, okay?"

I frown, "You mean apart from Fiona killing herself?"

Katie looks shocked. "You know about that? It took me, what, six months before Naomi told Effy it was okay to tell me."

I smile smugly, "Yep, she told me about that. All about it in fact."

She breaks into a huge grin and begins to laugh. "Jesus, Em, I think she has a crush on you."

I feign a look of surprise. "What? A crush? A crush on _me_?"

"Christ, Ems, why are you acting so strangely? Did you take something? You took something, didn't you? You dirty cow. And yes, she has a crush on you. Be nice about it, cuz you're basically her bitch. But you already know that. Didn't she force you to get ice cream tonight?"

I shrug and make an noncommittal sound. "Mmm, not exactly. I kind of wanted to go with her. She's, er, nice."

Katie's eyes bulge out, "Nice? Naomi Campbell being nice? No, no, no. She fired Steven for filling her coffee order wrong one time, sacked Karen for looking at her strangely, and caused Jared to have a nervous breakdown. She's well mean. Stay clear of her. I mean, I have to deal with her cuz of Eff, but you have no reason to except for work."

I smile nervously, "But she's like Effy's sister practically, so we're gonna be like sisters-in-law. Sort of."

"Erm, no. It's not like she's going to come to Christmas dinner with us. Jesus Christ, I can't even imagine her at such a happy time."

I'm starting to feel uncomfortable, so I tell Katie, "Hey, let's talk about something else. Your nuptials perhaps?"

"Oh my God, Ems, I'm so fucking nervous. I'm shitting myself. Have you got your speech prepared?" She says this all in such a rush that I can barely make out her words.

"Whoa. Slow down, girl. Yes, I've got my speech prepared. So it'll be me, and Naomi, and who else are your bridesmaids?"

"Well mine are you, obviously, Shana, Alice, and Emma. Effy's are Pandora, Naomi, Shelley, and Victoria."

"Are they nice?"

"I don't know, I'd never met them until yesterday. Shelley and Victoria are Effy's cousins."

I nod. "So how are Effy's mother and father?"

Katie shudders. "Don't even get me started. Anthea is a total druggie. She and Jim got divorced because she had an affair with one of his coworkers. Effy tries to act like she doesn't care, but she totally does. Jim's alright, got a bit of a temper though. Tony, her brother, is well fit. Got hit by a bus though, so he's a bit wonky in the head sometimes. Total man whore. Been with at least fifteen girls since I saw him a month ago. Bit of an arsehole, self centred. He really cares about Eff, though, and that's all that matters."

"So, did you and Effy meet up with Mum and Dad since Sunday dinner."

"Yeah, had lunch with them at ours. Complete and utter shit. Mum kept suggesting that she would set up with some of the men from Dad's gym. Effy was being a cow and practically fucking me in front of them. Dad was still confused as to how we both like women considering that he and Mum are completely straight. So yeah, complete disaster."

"Oh, sucks for you then."

"Mmm, yeah. But how about you, little sis, how are you making out. Any hot sexy ladies?"

I think for a second. How much do I want to tell Katie? "Um, yeah. There's this one. Totally gorgeous, really sweet, and smart. Completely my type. I really, really like her."

"So does she know you exist?"

"Think so. We almost hooked up three times, but something always got in the way."

"Get it! Wow, Ems, you're certainly becoming quite the ladies, er, woman."

"Yeah, I'm just talented like that."

We fall into a silence as we lay on my bed. I'm happy for Katie, but there's also a sadness that comes when your twin, your other half, is moving onto to be with someone else.

"It's going to be different now, isn't it?" Katie says, reading my mind.

I shake my head vigorously. "No, it doesn't have to be. We'll still see each other at work, and on Sundays, and at Christmas. You'll just have the old ball and chain with you. We'll still be Katie and Emily, twins for life."

"You know, I never thought I'd go all lezza. Effy just seemed so right, I mean, we're total opposites, but it just fits. I'm outgoing and sociable, she's not so much, I'm loud, she's quiet. We both like sex a good bit, though." She finishes her sentence with a giggle.

"Ew, gross. Do not want to hear about you and sex."

She laughs again, "Remember when you walked in on us? Jesus Christ that was embarrassing."

"Embarrassing for you? Imagine how I felt, walking in on my sister and her lover, who I didn't even know was female. I've seen more of Effy than I'd ever like to, thank you very much."

"Hey, Effy is a fine piece of ass, okay?"

"Whatever, loser."

"Dyke."

"Colon sponge."

"What the fuck, colon sponge? Are you high, Em?"

"High on life!"

"Me too, me too."

We keep talking and reminiscing for a while until Katie decides to go to bed. She apparently has to get her beauty sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

I awake in the morning to feel energized and excited. My sister, my twin, is getting married. I'm pretty thrilled to say the least. I turn on the bed, but the space is cold and vacant.

"Katie, where are you?" I call anxiously. Nothing. There's a faint whimpering coming from the bathroom, and sure enough, when I check inside, there's Katie, sobbing in front of the mirror.

"I can-can't do this, Ems. I can't!"

"What do you mean you can't do this?"

"I mean go through with the wedding! It's such a big commitment."

I grab her shoulders and force her to turn her gaze upwards. "Katie, look at me. You love Effy, you want to be with her your entire life, and you're going to marry her, yeah?"

She nods as she rubs snot from away from her nose. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Emsy, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Probably be a complete loser."

"Oi, no making fun of the bride on her wedding day!"

I'm about to make a witty comeback when I hear my phone ring. "I should get that."

"Probably," Katie agrees, "I'll be fine."

I check the caller ID. It's Naomi. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's, er, me. Naomi." She sounds frustrated.

"I can recognize your voice. So what's up?"

"The wedding is off."

"What?" I yell, causing Katie to ask me what's happening. "Nothing is wrong Katie, just, um, Naomi's breakfast was undercooked." Katie gives me strange look, but continues to look at herself in the mirror.

"My breakfast is undercooked? Wow, Fitch, way to deflect the attention. Great." I can feel the sarcasm coming off her in waves.

"You don't have to be bitchy with me." I lower my voice, "Effy is the one you should be pissed off at."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just so fucking frustrating. I was hoping maybe you could talk some sense into her."

"You're her best friend, she'd probably listen to you more than me."

"I've tried."

"Okay, I'll be right over. Just got to make some excuse to Katie. " I turn to Katie, "Hey, so I've got to go see Naomi, she needs something."

Katie waggles her eyebrows in a very Cook-like fashion and says, "I'll bet she does."

"Har har." I grab my coat and make my way up to Naomi and Effy's room. Naomi immediately open the door before I've even knocked; she must have been looking through the peephole.

"Thank God you're here," she breathes out in a relieved tone. I nod then cautiously lean up. She gets what I'm trying to do and gives me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Cute." Effy says deprecatingly from the corner, where she's lying on the bed.

I turn her, completely furious. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, huh? Katie is so fucking excited to get married to you and then you do this. You're the one who fucking proposed, you're the one who went after her. She'll be fucking crushed if you call this off."

Effy's face falls as she says quietly, "I don't want to hurt her. That's the last thing I'd want."

"Well you would. Immensely. All of her friends and family are here to see her get married. And she is going to get married, even if I have to hold a gun to your head."

"I'll help," Naomi chimes in with a laugh.

"Not helping," I snap. "Effy, tell me you're going to go through with this."

"I can't," she sobs, "I'm not good enough for her. I'm not good with people, I always hurt them and fuck things up."

"No you're not. You and Naomi have been friends for what, ten or eleven years? Always been there for her."

"You have, Eff," Naomi agrees as she rubs Effy's back.

"And Katie fucking loves you, okay? I'll never admit that anyone is good enough for my sister, but you come pretty damn close. You are good enough for her, and you will marry her. Got it?"

Effy snorts up some snot, Jesus, that's unattractive, and says shakily, "Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right, aren't I, Naomi?"

"Very right. Why else would I have made you a vice president if you weren't a good person, Eff?"

A small smile creeps up on Effy's face. She takes a deep breath and says, "Well, suppose I should get ready. The ceremony starts at one."

"That sounds like an excellent idea. I've got to get back to Katie, though, so I'll just be leaving."

Naomi walks me to the door. "Thank God you made her see sense. I tried everything."

"I'm just brilliant, I guess."

She smiles. "Guess so. I'll see you at the ceremony, yeah?"

"Yeah." I give her a what I intend to be a quick peck, but neither one of us is willing to leave it at that, so we kiss for several more long moments.

I leave their room and go back to mine.

"Got everything all sorted out?" Katie calls from the bathroom.

"Mmhmm. Saw Effy, she seems really excited." Okay, so I'm lying a little bit. Sue me.

"You saw Effy?" Katie asks eagerly.

"Er, yeah. I'm not talking about her now, though, we're going to get our makeup."

Katie pouts, but allows me to drag her to the room where we're getting our makeup done. Katie's bridesmaids' dresses are a pastel lavender color, while Effy's are pastel green. We quickly get our makeup and hair done before Effy's party comes in.

I'm standing on the beach, waiting for Katie to walk the aisle. They decided that Effy would be the "groom" of sorts, so she's standing up here already, looking radiant. The music begins to play and Katie starts, our dad walking her down the aisle. I glance over at Effy. She's smiling so widely and genuinely that I can't help but smile.

Katie reaches the altar, and smiles at Effy. The minister clears his throat. "We are gathered here today to join in holy matrimony Elizabeth Anne Stonem and Kathryn Marie Fitch. If there is anyone who has reason to stop this, speak now or forever hold your peace. All right, we'll begin. They have prepared their own vows. Kathryn-"

Katie takes a deep breath, tears shining in her eyes. "Effy, you are my light. You've always been there for me, through thick and thin. I was lost before I met you. You are my rock, my world, and these months have been the best of my life. I can't wait to call you my wife."

A few tears run down Effy's face, a sharp contrast to her normally stoic self. "Katie, I have never met anyone like you. You're opinionated, stubborn, and you always just have to get your way. I wouldn't have it any other way. I was a cold-hearted bitch when I met you. I'd like to think I've softened a little, and it's all because of you. I love you, Katie."

The minister smiles. "Kathryn, do you take Elizabeth to be your wife, for richer or poorer, through sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"Then use this ring as a token of your love." Katie slips the ring on Effy's shaking hand.

"Elizabeth, do you take Kathryn to be your wife, for richer or for poorer, through sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"Use this ring as a token of your everlasting love." Effy puts the ring on Katie's finger.

"I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Effy grabs Katie and gives her a searing kiss. They break apart, tears staining both of their faces.

I grin at Naomi, whose smile is threatening to split her face. We walk to the tent where the festivities will lay. We're taking photos first. The wedding party gathers around a floral arrangement. We take a variety of different pictures, and by the end, I'm just desperate to for it to end. I sidle closer to Naomi as we go into the tent.

"Excited?" she asks.

"Yeah, this night is going to be wicked."

"Just wait until after the party," she breathes in my ear, "That's when the real fun will begin."

I shudder in anticipation. "I don't know if I can wait that long."

She grins wickedly, "Well too bad then." She flits over to where Effy and Katie are talking, and puts her arm around Effy. I follow her over. Effy's dress is the more simple one: white, strapless, and plain. Katie's has got straps, a veil which she's discarded, and lace.

"You both look completely stunning," I say to the happy couple.

"Yeah, top notch lezzer hotness!" Cook yells loudly from where he's already at the free bar. Effy and Naomi both roll their eyes, while Katie seems to take it as a compliment.

"So, ladies, let's go sit at our table." We go to sit at the front. I'm to the right of Katie; Naomi is next to Effy. We eat a delicious meal of chicken or steak, and drink champagne. I'm starting to get a little nervous, my speech is coming up soon. Pretty quickly after we finish eating, Naomi stands up.

"Can I have your attention? Your attention, please." The chattering stops. "Hello. I'm Naomi, Effy's maid of honor. I'd just like to say a few words. When I first met Effy in college, I was a confused mess. I hadn't come to terms with my sexuality, I didn't know what I wanted to study at University, and I was basically friendless. Effy became the best friend a girl could want. We both had our share of fun-" she winks "-but through it all she was an amazing friend. When I started the Campbell Corporation, I knew she was the one I wanted to help me run it. Katie was one of our first employees. I noticed the attraction immediately, and though I encouraged Effy to go after Katie, they dated other people for several years. One day, Effy came to me running, happier than I'd ever seen her. She'd gotten together with Katie apparently, and she was on top of the world. From then on, Effy had changed. No longer was the the glum, emotionless girl I had become friends with. She was full of life and love. So thank you, Katie, for making my best friend the happiest woman in the world. I wish you both love and luck in your life, and I hope to remain a part of your life together. Thank you." Naomi sits down, her cheeks flushed a bit pink. It's my turn now, I guess. I get up.

"Hi. As many of you know, I'm Emily, Katie's sister. I don't know Effy as well as Naomi does; in fact I've only known her for the past couple of months, since I've been working with her. I can say, though, that my sister's happier than I can ever remember. I no longer fear for my life when I need something. She's really mellowed out, all thanks to Effy. We're twins, you know, and I always thought we'd be together for ever. Now we're not going to be, but that's alright because I know I've let her in capable hands. To Katie and Effy."

"To Katie and Effy," say the guests. Everyone goes back to eating and talking. Katie and Effy stand up to do their first dance. "Made Up Love Song #43" by Guillemots is their song. They sway slightly, and Katie has tears in her eyes, though Effy remains stoic. Dad goes to dance with Effy, while Jim dances with Katie. I end up dancing with Effy's brother, Tony, and Naomi dances with his friend named Sid.

"So, Emily, is it? Fancy leaving here and going for a shag?" Tony ask roguishly.

I make a face, "I don't do dick, no way, no how."

Tony raises his eyebrows. "You're gay? Hmm, would not have pegged you as that. Any lady caught your fancy?"

"Yeah."

"Care to tell me?"

"Nope."

"Fair enough."

"How about you? Anyone here that you fancy?"

"Besides you?" he asks cheekily. "Well I've always had a soft spot for Naomi. Think she'd shag me?"

I gag. "Um, no. She's gay too."

Tony shakes his head, "Nah, she told me years ago that she's bi. I fucked her when she was in college. Sweet lay, too."

I'm shocked and disgusted.

"You slept with Naomi?" I ask incredulously.

"Yep. Effy was mad for days after she found out. We shagged twice. I popped little Naomi's cherry the first time. She was so nervous, it was adorable. Didn't like the fact that I disappeared right after, but who cares? The second time she came crying to me after her arsehole boyfriend dumped her. He was two-timing both Effy and Naomi. I kicked his arse, and Naomi decided, in a moment of weakness, that sleeping with me would be excellent payback for my services." He smiles lecherously at me. "Maybe we could work out a threesome. You, me, and Naomi." I swallow hard, trying not to think of Naomi and Tony together.

"Urgh, no."

"What, you don't think Naomi is fit?"

I frown, "She's plenty fit, it's you that I'd want out of the picture."

"Aw, Emily, c'mon now. I'm your brother now, show me some sisterly love." He leans down and breathes into my ear, "I'll make it worth your while."

I try valiantly not to slap him, but he's saved by Naomi coming over. "Can I cut in?"

"Dear God, please do."

Tony grins, "You know where to find me, Fitchy." He walks away, supposedly going to charm the pants off some girl.

"What was that about?" Naomi inquires.

"You, er, slept with Effy's brother?"

Naomi flushes pink, her cheeks and ears turning red. "He told you about that? Wow, that's just like Tony. Manipulative bastard."

"I thought you were gay," I say accusingly, sounding like a petulant child.

"I'm bi. And you don't have much room to talk about pretend gay, you were practically fucking Lawrence right before you came here."

I smile nervously, debating whether or not to tell her the truth. Honesty wins. "Naomi, I've never had a relationship with Lawrence. He's been hitting on me since I moved in, but there's nothing between us. Never was, never will be. I was trying to make you jealous"

"You lied to me?"

"I prefer to think of it as a white lie that brought us together." She looks completely fucking pissed off.

"Fuck you, Fitch. You lied and manipulated me. I don't take to well to liars."

I swallow nervously. I plead, "We wouldn't have gotten together if I hadn't."

Naomi hardens, "Well maybe that was a mistake. I need some time alone, okay? Don't talk to me."

I nod because, really, what else can I do. Naomi walks away, where she's immediately intercepted by Shana. I follow them discreetly, not at all like a stalker, shut up you! Shana is giggling at whatever Naomi's said. I'm hidden in the shadows, though I can see them well. I've never liked Shana, she's a drunk and a slag.

"So, Naomi, you have a boyfriend?"

"Nope. Don't have a girlfriend either."

"Oh, so you like the ladies then?"

"Some of them."

"Sounds good, me too." I see Naomi turn to me, giving me a look of anger.

I feel a pang of jealously. That whore needs to get the fuck away from Naomi. I hear a cough behind me. There's a rather geeky looking man standing behind me. He has bad hat hair and glasses.

"Hello. Would you, er, like to dance?"

"Sure." I need to be distracted.

We begin to sway with the music. "I'm Sidney. Sid. Tony's best mate."

"Oh, you're friends with that tosser?"

He winces. "Did he make a move on you then?"

"Yeah."

"That's Tone. He's a ladies man."

"Really? I found him to be an annoying and self-centred wanker."

"Yeah, well he pulled so much more than I did when we were in college, so he must be good for something."

"Well I basically was celibate throughout college, it wasn't until Uni that I started seducing the ladies."

Sid laughs. "I see why Tony's charm didn't work on you."

"That arsehole's "charm" wouldn't have worked on me even if I did like the cock."

"Come now, he's a bit manipulative but he's not all bad, at least not since his accident."

"Accident?"

"Yeah, he got hit by a bus."  
Something about that stirs in my memory, I think Katie told me that. "Oh yeah, my sister told me about that. Sounds like their family went through a really tough time."

"Very. If Freddie hadn't been there, I don't know what would have happened with Effy. She was drinking herself to death before he came around."

"Freddie? Freddie McIaire?"

"Yeah. He and Effy were an item for years."

I glance around, centring on Freddie, who's dancing with one of Effy's cousins. "And now he's here. That's a bit odd."

"Not really. They parted amicably. Now it's Cook and Effy that had the explosive breakup."

"Wait, Cook was with Effy?" Jesus, that girl gets around.

"Mmmhmm. They weren't together for long. Effy was using, and Cook was cheating."

"She doesn't use anymore, does she?" I ask worriedly. My sister did just marry her after all.

"Nah, she stopped that after a year of working for Naomi. Naomi really helped her through it, she even moved in with Effy so she could tend to her during her withdrawals."

My heart swells at the thought of Naomi helping someone. "She's a good friend."

Sid smiles with a very Effy-like glint in his eye. "Sooo, you like Naomi then?"

"In confidence? Yeah, a lot."

His smile disappears, "Well you better be careful, she just disappeared with some brunette."

"What?" I spin around fast enough to see a tipsy looking Naomi walk off with Shana. I can't hold in my tears, and I run upstairs to our room. I don't know how long I lay there, but soon my head is pounding from a headache brought on from the tears. I feel myself drifting off when I hear the door open. A very drunk Naomi falls through the doorway.

"Emily!" she cries, stumbling towards me, "How are you doing?"

I scowl, "Not that great. The girl who I like just went off and fucked someone else."

A look of confusion crosses her features. "The girl who you like? Who's that?"

I roll my eyes, "You, you idiot. I like you."

She grins toothily, "I like you too, Fitch."

"Oh, so you like me, but you fucked Shana?"

She frowns, "Fucked Shana? Nope, didn't do that."

"I saw you leave with her! How can you deny it? I cannot believe that you're trying to get away with this."

Naomi shakes her head, "I didn't sleep with her. Couldn't go through with it, especially not when all I could think about was you." I'm trying very hard not to be charmed by Naomi's words.

"So you didn't sleep with her?"

"No. The only girl or guy for that matter that I want to sleep with is you. Shana and I just talked. I think I bored her, cuz all I could talk about was you." I can't help but smile. I lean in closer to her and press my lips to hers. She responds quickly, but before I can deepen the kiss, she pulls away.

"Urgh, I need to puke." She runs to bathroom, and soon enough I hear sloshing sounds. Gross. I force myself to ignore the smell as I walk into the room. I fetch a glass of water for her as she climbs into the bed.

"I feel awful, Ems."

"That's what happens when you drink a bottle of vodka." I situate myself to where I'm stroking her hair.

"Remind me never to drink again, please."

"Done. Do you, er, forgive me? For lying about Lawrence?"

She nods sleepily, "I was being a little oversensitive. Do you forgive me for considering sleeping with Shana?"

I make a face, "I guess. You didn't go through with it, but I don't like the thought of you kissing another girl. Or guy for that matter."

"I won't do it again, alright?" I nod as I rub her head. "I'm pretty fucked right now, so I think I'll just fall asleep."

"Okay," I say as a slide around her body.


	14. Chapter 14

I wake to the brightness coming from the window to find Naomi wrapped around me. Her breathing is slow and steady. I brush some of her hair away from her face, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She looks so peaceful and serene. Very cute in my opinion. I must have kissed too hard because she wakes with a start.

"Where's the pancakes?" she slurs out, looking around comically.

"Sorry," I apologize, "Didn't mean to wake you."

"S'ok." She shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut. "Jesus Christ, my head is fucking killing me. Should not have drunk all those drinks last night."

"Nope, you shouldn't have. Make bad decisions when you do."

Her eyes widen, "What did I do? I can't remember a thing."

I grin and decide to play with her a bit. "Well, during your speech you decided to suggest a foursome with me, Effy, and Katie. Which is just incestuous and gross. I'd rather shag Cook than Effy. Then you snogged JJ when you were dancing and tried to slip your hand down his pants. I had to pull you away from Cook, he was taking you back to his room."

Naomi's eyes are bugged out. "Fuck. I did that? Oh my God, how am I going to ever live this down at work."

I raise my eyebrows and shrug, "Dunno."

"Shit. My employees were out there."

I laugh, "I'm just kidding, dummy. The only thing you did was go off with Shana and almost sleep with her."

A look of relief passes over her face. "I should be angry at you for tricking me, but I'm just so goddamned relieved that I can't muster any anger."

I smile and give her a peck on the lips. "You deserve it, dear. You really seemed like you could have done all those things. You don't hold your liquor that well."

Naomi shakes her head. "Do you remember the night when we were playing Monopoly and I kissed you?" I nod. "Yeah, I definitely would not have had the courage to do that without some alcohol."

I lean over a give her a slow, passionate kiss. "Well I'm certainly glad you did." I slide my hands up her shirt and pull it over her head. I'm pretty sure that we're finally going to continue with what we've been trying to do for a while now. I kiss her neck, nuzzling against her skin.

She groans, "As much as I'd like to continue this, my head is hurting way too much for me to do anything except lie here in agony."

"Is there anything I can do?" She bites her lip. "Hmm?"

"Well, maybe, possibly you could lie down here with me. I mean, I know you probably want to go swimming or something, so you don't have to." She sounds so fucking insecure that I have to lean over and give her a tight hug.

"I'd love to." Her face lights up into a smile. I adjust the blankets and curl myself into her body. She sighs contentedly.

"This is nice, Ems."

"Yeah, yeah it is." Naomi is nice and toasty warm, and I must say that the bed is certainly soft enough. I blink a few times, my eyelids feeling increasingly heavy.

I open my eyes, squinting from the sunlight.

"Hi. You're up." I look over to the other side of the bed. Naomi is sitting on one of the chairs in the room, drinking coffee and looking at a newspaper. "I ordered some breakfast for you."

"Mmm, what did you get?"

"Er, well I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got pancakes, danishes, donuts, bacon, eggs, biscuits grits, and toast with jam."

"Jesus, I'm not that much of a fattie, am I?"

She raises her eyebrows, "Nooo, of course not."

"Hey, I caught the sarcasm in that. Bitch."

Naomi chuckles, "I may be a bitch, but at least I don't look like I got in a fight with a kangaroo."

I frown, "What the fuck does that even mean?" She motions towards the mirror. I take a glance at myself and see the streaks of my mascara on my face. "God, I look awful."

"Pretty much." I spin around and give her a light punch to the gut. "Kidding, kidding. I'd think you were pretty even if you really were mauled by a kangaroo."

"It's all your fault anyway."

"What? How is it my fault?"

I'm a little embarrassed, "Well I was just a teeny bit upset that you went off with that slut. I may or may not have cried a bit."

'A look of pain crosses her face. She strides over to me and kisses each of my cheeks softly, "I'm sorry, Fitch, I really am. I won't do that again"

"No problems, really." She looks unsure of herself. "Look, Naomi, yeah, you hurt me, but it's done with now. You definitely made up for it with getting all this food for me, okay? I lied to you, you needed something to show that I was wrong."

"Are you sure? I mean you can pull someone tonight if you want."

Okay, that pisses me off. "Oh, so what, I'm some kind of slut that just wants to fuck someone?"

Her eyes widen, "Christ, no! I didn't mean it that way. I didn't mean actually sleep with her, I just meant flirt with someone in front of me. Do you really think I could take the jealously of seeing you go off to fuck someone else? Cuz I couldn't, I would explode. You have every reason to be furious with me."

"I should slap you right now to make up for last night." She nods and closes her eyes, bracing herself. It's a surprise to both of us when I instead lean up and give her a kiss on the cheek. There's confusion written all over her face as she opens her eyes. "Hey, stupid, it's not like I could actually slap you. Let's eat breakfast, okay?"

Naomi smiles widely at me, "Yeah. Breakfast. Do you think we can eat all of this?"

"Nope. Want to invite the others up?"

"Okay. Probably shouldn't call Katie and Effy, they'll most likely be fucking."

"Ew, I do not want to think about my sister fucking anyone, even her wife. Panda and Thomas will probably be otherwise occupied as well."

"Okay, so we'll call Cook, Freddie, and JJ then."

"Do we have to invite Cook?"

"Yes. He and Jay are sharing a room. He's actually alright once you get to know him. Bit of a wanker, but not too bad."

"Whatever," I say as I pick up the phone and dial Freddie's cell. He answers on the third ring.

"Hey, Cook here."

"This is Emily. Fitch. Naomi and I were wondering if you and JJ wanted to help us eat our breakfast."

"Want a little bit of Cookie, eh? I'll come up, but Jay isn't here. He pulled last night."

"Jay pulled? As in the JJ we know? With a girl?"

I can feel Cook's grin across the line, "Yep, I taught him well. Some blondie with nice tits. Victoria maybe."

"Okay, well come up to room 203. Call Freddie too."

"Got it. 203 and call Freds."

I'm eating a Danish when I hear a loud rapping to the door. "Coming," I call. I open the door to see a grinning Cook and Freddie waiting.

"EMILY!" Cook roars, "I hear you and Naomi have a tasty brekkie for us."

Freddie mock covers his ears. "Jesus, Cook, could you be any louder?"

"Hopefully, mate, hopefully." Cook comes through the door and jumps onto the bed, jostling Naomi.

Freddie rolls his eyes and follows me into the door. "Thanks for inviting us. I'm starved."

"Any time, guys, any time. Em and I would be glad to have you. I guess I went a little overboard ordering for Emily. I just wanted to make her happy," Naomi says with a sappy smile on her face. Freddie looks at her curiously.

" 'I just wanted to make her happy'? Are you two, are you two _together_?"

Naomi does that bizarre feigned look of shock. "Us? Together?" She adds in a horrible fake laugh. "You guys are so funny. Ems and I together. LOL!"

Cook and Freddie share a look. "Okay, ladies, whatever you say. Personally I think that you'd make a cute couple." Freddie is smiling widely as he says this. I can't help but blush, which Cook picks up on.

"You are sleeping with her!" he cries out loudly, "Way to get it! Maybe we could arrange a little get together with the three of us. Everyone could always do with a bit of the Cookie Monster!"

"Mmm, thanks for the offer, Cook, but I'd rather not get any diseases.," Naomi shoots back acerbically. A look of worry crosses her face. "You won't tell anyone, will you? You know, about Em and me. It's pretty new and we don't want anyone to mess it up."

Freddie smiles and nods, "I'll keep schtum. Cook will too, won't you Cook?"

"Fuck yeah, I'll do anything you like if you give me one of those pancakes." He reaches over and grabs one of the chocolate chip ones, stuffing it into his mouth in one bite. As he chews, he pours a healthy measure of syrup into his mouth.

"Lovely," Naomi says disgustedly. "I'm so glad we invited them up."

Freddie grins boyishly, "Guess this is why you're not with men anymore."

"Yeah, men are just so, so _uncouth_," Naomi says as she looks over at me. Of course she looks over at the exact moment that I'm stuffing half a Danish into my mouth while I swish around my coffee with my finger. "Jesus, Ems, can't you be a bit more ladylike?"

"Sorry," I say as I swallow the Danish, "I'll do better next time." She smiles at me and gives me a quick peck on the lips that turns into a passionate kiss. A whistle from Cook forces us back into reality. We break apart, each with goofy grins on our faces.

"Mmm, Ems, you taste like sugar and apples."

"Yeah, well you taste like fags and coffee.

Naomi raises her eyebrow, "And you like it, don't you?"

I lick my lips slowly, "Oh yes, I like it a lot." I lean in to kiss her, but I'm interrupted by Cook.

"Yeah, girls, I'm getting a semi over here. Keep it going."

Naomi gives him a characteristic scowl and eye roll. "Fuck off, Cook."

"I like the "fuck" part of that sentence. Tell Freds to fuck off and then we can have some fun, okay, ladies? At least give me a little bit of a show, yeah?"

"If you want a show, then you'll have to kiss Freddie first. With tongue," I say, ignoring Freddie waving hands and alarmed expression.

"Right, babe. Okay," Cook agrees, turning to Freddie. He grabs him by the collar and forces their lips together. Freddie pinches his lips together but Cook forces them open with his tongue. They kiss for a few more moments.

"Geez, Freddie, you certainly got into it, didn't you?" I ask, confused as to why Freddie didn't just push Cook off. Freddie makes a muffled sound; both he and Cook are red as beets. I understand Freddie's embarrassment, but Cook is never embarrassed. Naomi looks at them imperiously.

"So, guys, we're not the only homos in here, are we?"

Freddie's brow contorts. "I am _not_ gay. I like women." Cook gives him a nudge to the side.

"Not what you were saying last night, Freddie boy. You were all like 'Oh Cook, fuck me harder'."

Freddie's eyes widen, "I, I, we did not do that last night. I was with one of the bridesmaids for the whole night. Cook was trying to pull too."

I smile, "I think the lad doth protest too much. Do you like Cook like that, Freddie?"

"What? No, of course not."

Naomi smiles at them, "In the many years I've know both of you, I've never suspected anything homo from either of you. I mean, Freddie, you were so in love with Effy. You too, Cook. It's good she wasn't two-timing you two with each other, I think you would have both been killed. Basically, you two both love women."

Cook's ears have lost their pink tinge, "Let's change the subject, yeah?" Naomi and I look at each other a nod. "So what are you lovely ladies doing today?"

"I don't know. Ems, what are we doing today?

"Probably swimming and just hanging out. Maybe staying in here a bit." I give her a wink for Cook's sake.

"Sounds good," she replies with an easy smile.

We continue to eat our breakfast until we all feel sick. I think I judged Cook and Freddie too soon, they're actually nice guys.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Freddie and Cook will NOT be getting together. That was a joke people

Cook, Freddie, Naomi and I all feel extremely bloated and sick. We're lying on the bed together, Cook on one end, Freddie on the other, with Naomi and I in between. Naomi keeps giving me lazy kisses to the mouth and neck. I'm a bit surprised that she's doing it so openly in front of Cook and Freddie, but I think she's half asleep and unaware of what she's doing. Cook is feeling too sick to make any comments, and Freddie is fast asleep.

"So, girls, Freds is asleep. Fancy getting it on?"

"Fuck off, perv," Naomi says sleepily, raising her middle fingers at Cook lazily.

"Yeah, Cook, why don't you fuck off and let us be in peace?"

Cook mock grabs his heart and looks at us sadly. "Ladies, I'm hurt. I thought you loved the Cookie Monster."

"Well, we don't. So you can screw off," I tell him, though I'm really joking.

"Everyone loves the Cookie Monster," he says with a grin. "I mean, I've been with Panda and Effy, I only need to get you two and Katie. But Katie's married now, and I don't mess with marriage."

I'm roused slightly by Cook's comment. "You don't mess with marriage? I thought you were all, fuck 'em and leave 'em. Quick meaningless shags. How would marriage interfere with that?"

He shakes his head, "My parents were broken up because of infidelity. My mum was a stupid slag who kept cheating on my Dad. Mind you, he started cheating on her practically as soon as the ring was on his finger. They were both destroyed by the disintegration of their marriage and it scarred my childhood, their arguing and fighting and hitting." It's the most I've ever heard Cook talk without saying something lewd, and I feel a pang in my heart for him.

"Hey, well now you've got good friends and you'll find a girl soon enough, yeah?"

He reaches over Naomi's sleeping body and ruffles my hair. "You're really nice, Fitch. Much nicer than Katie. I guess that's cuz I used to fuck her wife, but I mean, jealously is so overrated. And Campbell's pretty okay too. She was a right bitch before you came. Guess it was cuz of her dead girlfriend, but seriously, how long does it take to get over that?"

I nod uncomfortably. "Well, I haven't lost someone, but I'm willing to give her whatever time she needs, even now."

He smiles at me, "She really cares about you. Anyone can see it. I wouldn't be surprised if we weren't back here next year for your wedding."

I laugh, "Maybe. What about you? Any special ladies caught your eye?"

"Well, to be completely honest, the last girl that really captured my heart was Effy. That was eight years ago, and I still haven't found anyone. I don't love her anymore, don't worry. It's just she was my perfect girl, you know?" Yeah, who wouldn't want an emaciated drug fiend, that's what Effy was like when she was with him.

I nod and try valiantly not to be pissed off that some guy is perving on my new sister-in-law. "Well, Cook, I think we need to find you a girlfriend ASAP."

"How about now?" Cook says excitedly, "We can go look for some girl now!"

I rub my belly and reluctantly shake my head yes. "Alright, Cook, I'll help you find a girl now. Not just for sex mind you."

He shakes his head rapidly, "Yeah, not just for sex. Check. Let's go!"

I lean over Naomi, "Baby, you have to wake up for a second." She looks up at me, bleary eyed.

"Whaz wrong?"

"Cook and I are going to find him a girl. I'll be back later. You and Freddie sleep off the food."

"Yeah. I've got like, a food hangover. Sleeping it off sounds good." I give her one quick kiss on the cheek, then follow Cook out the door.

"So where to, Em? I think we should check out the hotel bar."

"The bar? Seriously, Cook? I mean, it's only like 10:00. If you find a girl drinking at this time of day, she's not the girl for you, okay?"

Cook scowls, "I want to go the the bar. That's where I meet all my hook-ups."

"Exactly. We're playing by my rules. C'mon, we're going to the pool." Cook makes a pouty face. "I'm gay, Cook. You're stupid little puppy dog face won't work on me. We're going to the pool and that's final." He looks like he's about to say something. "Nuh-uh. Let's go."

We make it down the pool. I feel a little stupid because we're not wearing the suitable clothes, but oh well. Cook is bouncing behind me. "Cook! Why are you so hopped up? Did you take something? Cuz if you took something, I'm not going to help you."

"Relax, Em. I didn't take anything. All I had was five chocolate chip pancakes drenched in syrup and a couple glasses of OJ. With some sugar in it."

"Oh great, you're on a sugar high. Lovely." He shrugs and smiles. I see a girl sneaking a glance at him from across the pool. "Girl at 2:00, Cook. Brunette, nice tits, and long legs. Let's move in."

"'2:00?' 'Let's move in?'. Who do you think you are, fucking 007?"

"Yeah, maybe I do. C'mon, she's fit and looking your way."

"Affirmative, Captain. So how are we going to do this? I mean, are you coming with me?"

"Er, do you want me to?" He nods sheepishly. "What, you can't get this girl yourself?"

He puffs out his chest, "Of course I can get that girl myself. But if I go over there, we'll end up fucking in the cabanas, which, tempting as it sounds, is not our aim. Plus I want you to be there to bail me out and tell me if she's good enough. I want someone who's girlfriend material."

"Okay. Let's move out. Work your magic" He gives me one last look, and then we walk over to the girl.

"Ahem," Cook says, "I was noticing you watching me from across the pool."

The girl raises her eyebrows, "No. I wasn't."

"Yeah, babe, you were. The Cookie Monster can see a lovestruck glance when someone shoots one his way."

The girl looks at me with an unimpressed look on his face. "What are you, his mother?"

Cook's eyes widen. "How about I get us some drinks, ladies. Strawberry Daiquiris okay with everyone? Yeah?" He shuffles off towards the bar.

"So," the girl purrs, a sharp contrast to her earlier biting tone, "I'm Anna. I wasn't looking at your friend over there, I was looking at you." She bites her lip in an attempt at looking seductive.

"What?" I splutter.

"You play for my team, right?"

"Well yes, but I, er, have a-" What do I have exactly? I don't know if Naomi and I are at the girlfriend stage yet.

"Shh. She doesn't matter. Look, I'm hot, you're hot, why don't we, you know, _enjoy_ ourselves." Bitch, why the fuck is she so horny. I try to say something, and she leans forward, lips slightly parted. I'm slightly repulsed. I feel someone come up behind me and a pair of hands wrap around my body. The person kisses my neck softly.

"Hey, baby, sorry I was late. Slept in. Who's your friend?" Naomi sounds pretty cheerful despite the fact that I was about to kiss another girl.

"Er, Anna was it?"

She scowls, "Yeah."

"So, Anna, care to join us? We'll just be hanging around here by the pool."

Anna gives Naomi a dirty look, "No thanks. I have to, um, go. Bye." She walks away just as Cook returns.

"Hey, hey, hey! Why did she leave? Scare her off, Campbell?"

Naomi snorts, "No. She swings the other way. She made a pass at Emily. Speaking of that, you looked like you were about to kiss her, Ems. Care to explain, honey?"

"I, er, was really surprised. I wouldn't kiss anyone else for real, though."

"I'd hope not. So what are we doing, interviewing Cook's next conquest?"

"Nope. Interviewing Cook's future girlfriend. You in?"

"You know it."

"How about that one, Cook, she looks pretty fit?" Naomi says pointing to a girl sitting by the cabanas.

"No, ew, gross. Do you see her feet? They're humongous! I am not dating Bigfoot."

"That's the third girl you've turned down. We're never going to find anyone at this rate."

Cook frowns, "I don't want to give up, ladies, I've just got high standards."

"Oh give it a rest," I say. I'm getting tired of this. I turn to Naomi to find her gone. Looking around, I see her climbing onto the diving board.

"Attention! Ladies and ladies, if I may have your attention! My dear friend James Cook is looking for some company. He's right over there, waiting to meet the right girl. Anyone who's interested will need to go through a screening process with me and my, uh, PA. We'll begin now!" Naomi really projects well, and I can see several girls talking amongst themselves. A few begin to come over. "See, Cook, Ems, that's how it's done. We're having date interviews. Speed-dating but with us as a sorting committee.

"Hey," a buxom twenty-something says, tapping Naomi on the shoulder. "I heard what you said, and I think you're friend is a cutie-pie."

"Excellent. We'll just go over and screen you. Come on, Ems, let's go."

My mouth drops open. I thought this kind of shit only happened in movies. "Ah, okay? I guess."

Naomi drags me over to a chair with a little drink table in front of it. "Paper! Can someone get me a piece of paper and a pen or pencil!" The employees and most everybody in the pool have noticed what's going on, and sure enough, a man dressed in the hotel colors runs over and hands Naomi a pad and pencil. There's such a crowd gathering that the hotel manager comes out. One of the other employees tells him what's going on. He seems like he's angry but then:

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of such a contest and Mr., uh, Cook will be getting free drinks for the duration of their stay. That goes to you ladies as well," the hotel manager says, pointing at Naomi and me. A loud cheer goes up amongst the crowd.

"Blondie, you've done something good!" Cook roars, taking a seat next to us.

"Okay!" Naomi yells, "Form a queue please! Straight and orderly!"

The girls sort themselves out. A tall brunette is first.

"C'mon up," Naomi says to the girl. She walks up nervously.

"Hey," she says hesitantly, "I'm Tara."

"Tara? Excellent. So Tara, where are you from?"

"Er, I'm from Texas. Dallas to be precise."

Naomi nods, "Thought I heard a bit of Texan twang. Bit of a problem with the whole distance thing, but oh well. What do you do?"

"I'm a marketing executive at a food processing company."

Naomi looks at me with a smile, "Impressive. Cook works in marketing for my company. What do you like to do, Tara?"

"Um, well I like to take walks, read, and watch romantic comedies."

"Next!" Cook yells from behind us. "No offense, babe, but we are not a good match. I mean, your tits are fabulous, but I'm trying not to just go for sex. Sorry."

The girl looks sad, so I pat her on the arm comfortingly. "He's a real prick anyway," I say in a stage whisper.

"Aw fuck you," Cook says playfully. "Bye Tara!" The next girl comes up. She's a bit strange looking, and I know Cook won't approve.

"Hi, I'm Alexis," she introduces herself to us, shaking our hands. "I'm a VP of a small insurance company in the Midwest, in the greater Omaha area."

"Wonderful," Naomi says with a smile. "What do you like to do?"

"I like extreme sports. You know, hang-gliding, bungee-jumping, base-jumping, that sort of thing."

Naomi raises her eyebrows and looks at me. "Alright, Alexis. We'll just score you and get back to you, yeah?" She turns to me, and whispers in my ear, "Blah, blah, blah, want them to think we're deliberating, but really I don't think she and Cook would be a good match. Bit funny looking."

"Ah, yes," I whisper back, "Not a good match, blah, blah, blah."

Naomi turns towards the crowd. "Next, please."

A fit girl comes up. She's pale-ish, tall, and a natural looking redhead with blue eyes. "Hello, I'm Samantha. Sam." She has an Irish accent.

"Hi, Sam," Naomi and I say in chorus. "So, Sam, how old are you, where do live and what do you do?"

"Well, I'm originally from Dublin, but I moved to Bristol a few years back. I'm 27. I have my own internet business that does pretty well, and I own a bar. I bartend there sometimes."

"I love drinking!" Cook yells loudly from behind us. Sam laughs, a pretty, tinkling sound.

"Yeah, I do too."

"Okay," Naomi interjects, "What do you like to do?"

"Hmm. Spend time with friends, watch movies, and just chill."

"Why do you think you'd be a good match for Cook?"

"Well obviously I don't know him well enough to say, but he seems like a pretty fun guy, and I think we could have fun together. Plus he's hot, I'm hot, we would just click."

"Thanks, Sam, that's all." Sam winks at Cook, then walks off. Cook bounces up next to us.

"I like her! I pick her!"

"Cook, you haven't even interviewed half these girls," I point out.

"Don't care. Have a connection with her. A spark."

"You haven't even spoken to her directly," I say skeptically.

"I don't care. Call it off. Declare her the winner!"

Naomi shrugs. "Whatever you want." She stands up on the table. "Ladies, we've found our winner. Sam, you won. You others, thanks for your interest." The some disgruntled mumbling and a couple of 'fuck you's, but the crowd soon dissipates, leaving Cook, Sam, Naomi, and me.

"Well, we'll just give you two a few minutes," Naomi says, dragging me away from the pair.

"So, what do you want to do?" I ask her once we're clear of them. "We have those free drinks. I could really go for a pina colada."

Naomi licks her lips, "I could really go for something else, if you know what I mean."

I'm confused. "Like a margarita? Or a daiquiri?"

Naomi laughs, and gives me a surreptitious peck on the lips. "You're so cute, Fitch. No, I meant something more _fun_." She waggles her eyebrows. I finally pick up on what she means.

"_Oh_. Yes, let's." We practically run up to the room. I slam the door shut behind me. Her lips instantly crash into mine. I moan into the kiss.

"Let's take this to the bed," I say huskily. She forcefully pushes me back onto the bed and straddles me. I hear a noise coming from outside the door. "Wait, Naomi, I hear something."

"Fuck that," she say, sounding frustrated.

"It sounds like crying." I walk over and open the door. Sure enough, there's Panda, crying sadly.

Jesus fucking Christ.


	16. Chapter 16

"Panda," I say, trying my best not to blow up at her, "Why are you here?"

"Thom-Thomas broke up with me!" she sobs loudly, throwing herself into my arms.

"What?" Naomi says loudly, "You two are the most in love couple I know!"

"I cheated on him a while ago with Cook, and he just found out about it!"

"What the fuck, Panda!" Naomi cries out angrily, "Why the hell would you fuck him over like that?"

"I don't know!" she wails, pulling me to the ground. "I was lonely!"

"Why the fuck would you be lonely? You have the most loving, attentive boyfriend ever!"

"He wasn't there! Thomo went to Africa to visit his family, and I had no one, and Cook was there, and, and, I just-" she trails off, engulfed with emotion.

"It's okay," I murmur into her hair, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Let's get you to bed, whore," Naomi says bitingly. I give her a look. "What? She slept with another man! She slept with _Cook_."

"Yeah, but she doesn't need it rubbed in her face. Her boyfriend just broke up with her."

Naomi scowls, "Whatever, Fitch."

"Don't 'whatever' me," I hiss at her. Wrong move. She looks pissed off.

"Excuse me, I guess I'm just wrong for not approving of cheating. Suppose you do, though."

I bite back a retort and shrug my shoulders. "We'll talk later, but right now we need to deal with Panda." I drag Pandora over to the bed, force her to get it, and tuck her in.

She cries loudly, "I, I've screwed up, haven't I. I should have never done the funky gibbon with Cook." Naomi snorts, trying to cover it up with a cough.

"The funky gibbon? Do I even want to know what that means?" I ask, hoping to bring some lightness into the interaction. "Okay, now go to sleep, yeah?" She nods sleepily, and puts her head down on the pillow. Soon enough, I hear her steadily breathing.

"So, Naomi, we should talk," I say, cringing when I see her face.

"Yeah, Fitch, we should. Would you like to explain why you're down with Pandora cheating?"

"I'm not down with it, but I think we should support her while she deals with it. I'm on Thomas's side, but that doesn't mean I'm kicking Panda to the curb. Believe me, I don't condone cheating. My ex cheated on me throughout our whole relationship and it crushed me. So don't worry about me ever cheating, I would never, ever do that. Okay?"

"Thanks for the speech," she says with a smile. "Come here." I make my way across the room and give her a kiss.

It's been the final three days of our vacation, and we're now on the plane back home. Naomi and I didn't manage to get any alone time, due to Panda's neediness. Cook and Sam were inseparable, though. I really think they could work. I talked to Thomas, who said that he would consider getting back together with Pandora. Effy and Katie barely left their room the entire trip. Gross.

"Hey," Naomi says, shaking me out of my reverie.

"Yeah?"

"Do you, um, want to do something with me tomorrow. Like dinner or something?"

I smile wickedly, "Are you asking me out on a date?"

She laughs, "Yes, I think I am. So what do you say? Want to go on a date with your boss?"

"Well I'm all for sleeping my way up the ladder, so yeah, I'd love to. What do you have in mind?"

"Hmm, you'll just have to wait and see," she says with a wink.

I drag my bag into my flat, and let it go with an "oof". Naomi and I talked on the train, but she said she'd call me later with the details of our date. Our date, I like the sound of that. I sink down onto my sofa tiredly; it's been a long day.

*Beep*

I check my phone, I've a text.

~Hey, thinking we could do something at 7 at mine, sound good?~

I quickly type back: ~Can't do something with a wanker like you, soz :P~

She replies almost instantly: ~Haha, Fitch, but really, can you?~

~Yea, I want to~

~Ok, see ya then and dress casual xxx~

I put my phone away at look at my luggage. Bloody hell, it can wait until tomorrow. I get out my toothbrush, quickly brush my teeth, and hop into bed.

Fucking, er, _fucker_, I'm shitting bricks. I'm preparing for my date with Naomi and I couldn't be more worried. I've tried on maybe five or six outfits, and nothing seems right. Shit. I don't know what she means by casual. I finally pull on a pair of skinny jeans and a emerald green top. I'm putting on my makeup when I hear a knock to the front door. Who the fuck could that be?

"Coming!" I call loudly, walking towards the door. I open it to see Effy leaning against the side of the wall, smoking a fag. "Effy? This is, uh, a surprise. To what do I owe the honor? Care to come in?" She nods and walks through the door.

"You're going a date with Naomi," she states bluntly, flicking a bit of ash into one of my ashtrays.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I'm Naomi's best friend. She's been talking to me nonstop about it for like five thousand weeks. Or you know, a day"

I grin, "She's been talking about it?" Hehe, so I've gotten to her.

Effy nods emotionlessly, absentmindedly rubbing the back of her finger along her wedding band. "So I'm not going to give you a talk about sex, but I am going to tell you this-" she comes at me and pushes me against the wall forcefully, "-if you hurt her, I will come for you and fuck you up."

I swallow nervously, Effy's cold exterior (maybe interior, too) is getting to me. "Yeah, absolutely. I don't want to fuck her up any more than you do."

Effy smiles widely at this, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes. "Okay. Have fun and be safe!"

I smile back at her, and wave as she leaves. I close the door and walk back to my mirror. When I'm finished, I pull on a pair of shoes, and walk out the door.

The whole train ride I jiggle my legs nervously. I'm not sure why I'm so anxious, it's not like I haven't been hanging out with Naomi 24/7 for the last few days. But this is different, this is official. Before long I'm at my stop, and then I'm walking to her flat. I knock on the door.

"Hey," she says with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. "Come in." She's looking great despite the fact that she seems to have mixed plaid and floral. Ah well. She pulls out some flowers and hands them to me. "I, er, didn't know which kind you liked, so I got a bunch." I look around the flat to see several floral arrangements, each with different kinds.

"Daises," I say with a grin. "They're my favorite. But I love all kinds. Gardening is kind of my thing."

"Nice to know." I notice that she's tapping her fingers against the wall in a very nervous fashion.

"Nervous?"

She laughs and says, "Yeah, a bit. You?"

"Shitting bricks. So what are we doing?"

"Well, we had so much fun last time, I thought we could try cooking a meal together. Then we could watch a movie or something."

"Awesome," I say tightly, mainly because I'm so nervous.

"So, uh, should we start?"

"Yeah, great."

We're knee deep into making roast chicken with vegetables,, sourdough bread (she made the starter last night), and chocolate molten cakes. So far we've burned a sauce, spilled flour all in Naomi's hair and clothes, and lost a ring in the chicken. But it's still been amazing, all due to the fact that is was with Naomi. We finally get everything finished, and it looks half-decent.

"So this looks good," I say, cutting a piece of the chicken and scooping some vegetables.

"Yeah, it looks delicious," she agrees, getting some for herself. I taste the chicken with some veggies. Blech!

"Eurgh," Naomi says, spitting it out into her napkin.

"My god, this has to be one of the worst things I've ever put into my mouth," I cry, grabbing my wine and taking a swig. "Way too much garlic salt, way too much."

"Yeah, the vegetables and chicken are shit. Care to order Chinese take-away?"

"Please."

We've just finished eating our delicious dinner, and now we're watching TV. I've never been a big fan of X-Factor, but Naomi really seemed to want to watch it.

"You're not that into this, are you?" she asks with a breathtaking smile.

"No, actually I've never been that into this show. Or most TV for that matter."

"You want to do something else?"

I nod.

"Movie?"

I shake my head.

"Game? No? Music? No? Um, what else. Er-" I cut her off by kissing her firmly. "Oh! That. Okay, that could work."

"Shut up and kiss me," I whisper against her lips before clashing our lips passionately together. We continue to kiss for what seems like forever. I pull her shirt off.

"Bed?" she asks breathing heavily. I nod, and we move to the bedroom, our lips not leaving each other's.

I'm lying on the bed, completely spent and sweaty with Naomi curled next to me. I kiss the top of her head. "Maybe I should go now," I suggest, not wanting to leave at all.

"No!" she says loudly, increasing her tight hold on me. "Stay tonight, I want to wake up next to you." I nod and slide back under the blankets.


	17. Chapter 17

Prepare for ridiculous amounts of fluff!

I wake up in an unfamiliar bed, alone. I glance around and see nothing. My heart begins to thud loudly in my chest. Where's Naomi, I wonder nervously. Did she run away after our intimacy? Was it too much for her? My questions are soon answered when I hear something rustling around in the kitchen.

"Goddamn! Fucking hell, motherfucker, shitting bitch!"

Okay, so Naomi is definitely here. I hop out of the bed and realize I'm wearing nothing. Looking around the dresser, I find a large T-shirt and a pair of pajama pants. I pull on my underwear, then the shirt and pants, no bra. I go into the kitchen gingerly as it seems Naomi is frustrated. When I step into the room, I burst out laughing. It's a complete mess, there's food everywhere and at the center is an annoyed looking Naomi, completely red in the face with hair sticking out in every direction, wearing her pig T-shirt and a pair of bright pink knickers.

"Aargh!" she screams, slamming a pan down on the countertop.

"Er, what's going on?" I laugh out, still in stitches from the scene.

"What? Oh, hey. I, uh, was trying to be romantic and shit and bring you a homemade breakfast in bed, but without you, I'm even more shit at cooking. Sorry."

"Don't apologize for trying to be sweet. It's the thought that counts, right, baby?" I say as I come up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She twists around to face me.

"So are you, um, okay with everything? I mean, with what happened last night between us?"

I can't summon the words to express just how right I feel, so I press my lips to hers, hoping the gesture will explain everything I want to say. She responds with vigor before slowly pulling away.

"Okay, we need to eat then go back to bed and make love for the entire day, alright?"

I smile, "As much as I'd love that, what about work?"

She groans loudly, "Fuck that shit. I'm the fucking boss, I can take off whenever. And I'm authorizing you to take off."

"Sweet, I think I love being with the boss!"

"Yeah, being the boss's girlfriend definitely has its advantages."

A big smile works its way on my face. "Girlfriend, eh?"

Naomi smiles confidently, "Yep. You're my girlfriend, yeah? I won't take no for an answer."

"Of course I'll be your girlfriend. Buuuut, if I said no, what would you do? Would you have to punish me?" I reply wickedly.

"Mmm, into kinky shit, Fitch?"

"You'll just have to find out," I murmur into her lips before closing the gap between us. We break apart after a few frantic, passionate moments, both of us gasping.

"Fuck breakfast, we need to go to bed right now!" she cries loudly.

Her hand clasps mine as she drags me towards the bedroom. When we reach the bed, she pushes me down hard and straddles me. Her lips find mine quickly, and she passionately deepens the kiss. I moan loudly as she moves her attention to my neck, leaving wet kisses along the way.

"Jesus Christ, Ems, you look so fucking sexy," she gasps against my skin. I move my hands up under her shirt, desperately trying to remove it as quickly as possible. Naomi raises her arms and leaves my lips for a second while I work it off. Her lips crash back into mine as soon as we've gotten rid of the shirt. I flip her over so that I'm on top, running my hands up and down her sides. She wasn't wearing a bra either, so I have uninhibited access to her breasts. I kiss my way down the middle between her them. I swirl my tongue over one hard nipple before nipping it slightly while palming the other. Then I turn my attention southward as I make my way down her fit, toned abs. Her breathing is becoming heavier and heavier the further down I become. I tease her for a few more minutes before kissing my way up her thighs. "Please, Ems," she begs. I give into her demands and go to where she needs me most.

I'm fast falling asleep afterwords. My eyelids weigh a ton and my body is still shaking from where Naomi was touching me. I cling to her, putting my head on her chest. She tightens her hold on me and I sigh contentedly. I've got the best girlfriend in the world, I think, and so I tell her. She chuckles and says, "That can't be possible, Ems, cuz _I've_ got the best girlfriend in the world." I'm just about bursting with happiness.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," I say shyly, tucking my head in the crook of her elbow. She lifts my head up with one finger and kisses me softly. As I drift off to sleep, I hear her say:

"Good, because I think I'm already there."

Everything is right with the world.

I wake up again to an empty bed, but this time Naomi isn't to be found. There's no note, no sign of where she's gone. I'm beginning to get worried so I call Effy.

"Hey, uh, I was just wondering if you know where Naomi is?" I ask nervously.

I hear a big sigh on the other end of the phone. "I don't know exactly where she is, Emily. And I'm not sure if I would tell you if I did know."

"Jesus, Effy, please tell me. Or at least let me know if she's alright."

Effy pauses for a second, I'm assuming she's thinking. "Okay. She's safe and in good hands. That's all I can tell you."

"Thanks," I say sadly, sliding down the wall. I don't know when this wonderful day turned sour, but it certainly did change.


	18. Chapter 18

I'm still in Naomi's flat, hoping beyond hope that she'll come back. I'm trying not to be clingy or needy or whatever, but I've called her twice and texted her three times. Nothing. I'm feeling angry and frustrated, and I really need to vent. I'd normally call on Katie to talk to, but as she doesn't know about our budding relationship, I can't exactly rely on her. JJ, I think, he'll do his best to comfort me, even if he is a bit shit at emotional crap. I quickly dial his number. He doesn't pick up after three rings, which is surprising. He always picks up right after the second ring. Finally after a few more rings, I hear him get on.

"Hello?" he says, sounding slightly out of breath.

"Hey, Jay, it's Emily. Can you talk?"

"Um-" he gasps suddenly and I hear a tinkling lady-laugh in the background, "-Er, now is not the best time."

Despite everything, I feel a smile come onto my face. "JJ, do you have a girl with you?"

"Er, I, uh, shitification! Yes, I do."

"Well then I'll talk to you later, tiger. Have fun and be safe!" I hang up the phone and think hard about who else I can call. I've pretty much been ignoring most of my friends since I got the job, so it'd be weird if I called them. Finally my brain locks onto someone—Cook. Even if he can be a complete prick sometimes, he seems like he'd be a good friend. I search through my mobile for his number. I dial it quickly. The phone is picked up almost immediately.

"Hello, you've reached Freddie and Cook's house," Freddie says cheerfully.

"Oh, hey, Fred. Didn't realize you and Cook lived together."

"Yep, have for the past few years," he pauses, "Er, who is this?"

"Emily. Emily Fitch. From work?"

"Oh, hey Emily. Do you, uh, want to talk to Cook?"

"Yeah, if he's available."

"Just a second. Cook! Come here, Emily's on the phone for you!" I hear the shuffling of feet coming over and then:

"Yo, Emily! What's up?"

"Hey, Cook. I'm kinda having problems with Naomi, and I was wondering if I could talk with you some?"

"Heh, heh. Want some of the Cookie Monster, eh?"

"Can you try not to be a tosser?" I say exasperatedly.

"Sorry, babes, it's just who I am. Anyway, come right over, Uncle Freds and I will be here." He tells me the address, which I quickly jot down. It's not far, and before I know it I'm standing in front of their door. Before I can knock, Cook opens the door, smiling widely.

"EMILY!" He yells loudly, enveloping me in a bone-crushing hug. Freddie walks up behind him and pries him off.

"Jesus, Cook, give her some space. You're scaring her off, yeah? Emily, c'mon into our humble abode."

"Thanks, Freddie." I step in the flat and quickly see that it's definitely a bachelor pad. There's dirty dishes everywhere, along with some strewn clothes, and a few thrown aside video games. Cook directs me into the living room where I gingerly sit down on the couch. It's actually fairly comfortable.

"Can I get you a cuppa?" Freddie asks pointing to the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks."

"No problemo. Wait, we're all out of tea. How about a beer?"

"Er, that'll be good. Thanks." Freddie brings three bottles out of the kitchen, throwing one to Cook, and then giving one to me.

Cook pops the top off and takes a long swig. "So, Emily, what brings you to your devoted uncles?"

"I, um, am sort of having a problem with Naomi."

"Trouble in paradise?" Freddie asks, popping some nuts into his mouth that he appeared to have gotten from beneath the sofa cushions. Gross.

"Not exactly. She left this morning while I was asleep. I'm just feeling pretty low. She won't answer her mobile, and Effy won't tell me where she is."

Cook lets out a big breath, "Yeah, she's a closed book that one. I've always been able to charm the ladies, but not Blondie. And I'm not that great with soppy emotional shit, sorry. But what I am good at is drinking. So I say we drink, watch the telly, and forget our problems. Sound good?"

"Thanks, Cook. That sounds great."

"Well you better get drinking, missy, cuz I've already finished mine. Keep up!" He twirls his empty bottle then lets out a loud belch.

"Excuse him," Freddie says, heading the kitchen to get Cook another beer.

"Emily doesn't mind, do ya, babe?"

"Nah, that's definitely _not_ the reason I don't fancy men."

"Aw, stuff it, Em," Cook says playfully, ruffling my hair.

We sit drinking our beers and watching an awful TV action movie. Freddie brings out a couple of joints and before long I'm drunk and high.

"So, guys, I think I'm going to go to Effy's house and demand that she tell me where Naomi is!"

"Thash a fucking wonderful idea," Cook slurs out. He's had twice as many beers as I've had.

"Are you sure you want to do that, Emily?" Freddie asks nervously. "Effy gets real pissed off when people try and mess with Naomi."

"Yes, I'm going to find her and clear up this mess," I say firmly, standing up and grabbing my purse. "Thanks for the distraction, guys."

I knock on Katie and Effy's door. "Open up!" Nothing. "I know you're in there!" Nothing. I pound harder. "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" An elderly couple walking past give me dirty looks.

"Keep your knickers on," Katie calls, coming to the door and letting me in.

"Where's Effy?" I ask, looking around the flat.

"She's getting ready to see Naomi." Her eyes narrow. "Why do you want to know?"

"It doesn't involve you. Effy, get your ass out here right now. We need to talk!"

"Christ, you're impatient," Effy says, rolling her eyes as she walks through the door. "What do you want?"

I look over at Katie, who's eyes are wide, eagerly staring at us. I'm surprised she hasn't made some popcorn to eat while she watches the show. "Can you give us a minute?"

"Hell no! I want to know why my sister needs to talk to my wife."

"Babe, it's okay. Just let me talk with Emily, yeah?" Effy puts her hand on Katie's arm soothingly. "Seriously, it's fine. We just need to talk about Emily's secretarial work. And no offense, but it's about some new stuff that I'm really not supposed to talk about with you. So leave us for a second, okay?" Katie looks miffed, but nods and goes into their bedroom. Effy turns to me, looking annoyed.

"Emily, why are you here? You smell of spliff and beer and we really have no business. I'm not telling you where she is."

"Effy, you better fucking tell me where my girlfriend is," I hiss, pushing her closer to the wall.

"Get out of my face, Emily," she says, sounding eerily calm.

"Look, I know your allegiance lies with Naomi, but please tell me where she is. I want to make it right, okay?" I'm practically in tears at this point, I'm so fucking frustrated.

Effy softens. "You really care for her then?" I nod my head quickly. "Okay, she's at her friend Lara's place. You can go in my place."

"Can you tell me where that is?" Effy gives me the address, and before long I reach my destination. I knock on the door hard.

"Coming, Eff," a voice calls, "Wait a second." The doors opens, and I see the blonde girl from the rally.

"Er, hi," I say nervously.

"You're not Effy," she replies slowly. "You're Emily, right?"

"Yeah. I, uh, want to see Naomi. Can I come in?"

"Um, sure," she says, stepping aside.

"Is that Effy?" I hear a voice say. It's the brunette, Emma, I think her name is.

"Nope. It's Emily. She's here to see Naomi apparently."

"Shit," Emma says, walking into the room. "I don't think she really wants to see you."

"Well I'm going to see her, no matter if she wants it or not. Where is she?"

"She's outside," Lara tells me, pointing through the kitchen to a small balcony.

"Thanks." I make my way to the balcony and open the door gingerly. I see Naomi sitting on a chair, smoking and staring off into the distance.

"Fuck off, Lara, please. I'm not really in the mood to talk."

"It's not Lara," I say softly. She visibly flinches, but doesn't turn around. "We need to talk."

Naomi flicks off some ash from her cigarette but doesn't say anything.

I put my hand on her arm, feeling hurt as she pulls it away. "We have to talk, yeah?"

"Like hell we do," she mutters, inhaling sharply.

"Naomi, please," I beg, pulling a chair up and sitting next to her. She doesn't respond, just continues smoking. I pull her chin up and force her to look at me. "Why did you leave? Why didn't you answer my calls?"

"Christ, what is this the Spanish Inquisition?" she snaps.

"For fuck's sake, grow up and have an adult conversation." I take a deep breath, "Naomi, you hurt me by leaving. I just want to know why."

She flinches, "I hurt you," she murmurs weakly, "Wasn't my intention."

"Oh, so you thought running away wouldn't possibly cause me pain. Right."

"Goddammit, Em, I can't be in this relationship anymore."

I feel a stabbing pain, "No," I say weakly.

"It's only been a little while, Em, so I really don't think it should hurt you too much."

"Yes, it fucking will. Why the hell are you acting this way?"

"Why? Because I'm fucking betraying her."

"What? Who are you betraying?" I gasp, hoping that she doesn't mean what I think she means.

She looks crazed as she stands up and grabs the railing of the balcony. "Fiona! I've been with another woman and it meant something to me. I left her."

"Naomi, just because you have feelings for someone else doesn't mean that you're betraying her. For christ's sake, she left you. And she'd want what was best for you—moving on."

She shakes her head fiercely and tells me, "No. We were meant to be together forever, and we will be. I'll be damned if I find someone else. I'm not changing my mind."

I sigh sadly, "Okay, I can see you're not going to see sense now. Think about it. I'll be waiting. Call me, yeah?"

"Alright," she says, giving me a sad kiss on the cheek. I gather my stuff and make to leave the flat.

"Wait!" Emma says, running after me as I leave.

"What." I say numbly, incredibly hurt after what happened.

"Listen, I'll sort her out. She obviously cares about you a lot, she just needs to pull her head out of her arse, yeah?

"Thanks, but she sounds like she's pretty sold."

"Okay, I'll tell you something. Fiona was a dumb bitch, and Naomi needs to get over her sorry arse. I will make her see the truth."

"Good luck with that," I say sarcastically. "Bye."

"Bye, Emily. Everything will work out, I promise."

I soften at her words, "I sure hope so." She gives me a quick pat on the back, and then I walk out of the building. I need a goddamn drink.

I've had a few Jack and Cokes at this point. I signal for another one when I hear my phone ring.

"Hello," I slur out.

"Hey, Emily. It's me. Sarah."

"Sarah!" I say, my drunken self is quite excited. "What do you want?"

"I want to see you. I've cleaned up my act."

"Well I got another girlfriend, 'cept she just broke up with me!"

Sarah inhales sharply, "Okay, was not expecting you to have another girl. Anyway, can I meet you? I'd really like to see you."

I think about it, and in my inebriated state, it seems like a good idea. "Okay. Meet me at my place in fifteen minutes."

"Awesome!" she says happily.

"At least someone's happy to see me," I mumble.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. See you soon."

"Okay, see you soon. And thanks for seeing me. It means a lot."

"Bye," I say before hanging up my phone. I stumble out of the bar and find my way to my flat. Soon enough I hear a knock on the door. "Coming!"

I answer the door to see Sarah dressed very, er, provocatively.

"Hey," she says with a nervous and shy smile. The same smile that made me fall in love with her. My heart starts to thud slowly. _You like Naomi_, I reason with myself, trying desperately not to fall into my old traps.

"Come in," I say, motioning with my hand.

"Thanks. You look very nice."

I glance down at my clothes. They're bunched up and wrinkled and completely unattractive. "Liar."

"No, really. I think you look beautiful in anything." She smiles again.

"Okay, you suck-up. Let's have a drink."

"Sounds good."

We sit there and talk, reminiscing about the good old days. Naomi fades to the back of my mind, and soon I'm laughing with Sarah, practically falling onto her.

"I'm getting sleepy," I say after a couple of hours.

"Aw, but I don't want to go," she says, pouting.

I lick my lips nervously, "Then don't go."

"What about your girlfriend?"

"She broke up with me, and anyway, it's just sleep."

"Alrighty then," Sarah says, grinning widely. We go into my bedroom. I'm falling over drunk, and I soon topple over onto the bed. Sarah follows me, and soon we're laughing together, just like the we used to. She bites her lip, then slowly pulls off my shirt. I gasp as she rubs her hands along my skin. I pull off her shirt.

I wake up in my bra and knickers. My head is killing me and I don't remember anything after falling into bed. I glance over at Sarah, guilt and remorse filling me. Before I can ruminate further, the doorbell rings. I pull on a robe, then go to answer the door. I pull it open to see Naomi standing there, a huge bouquet of daisies in her hands.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs, grabbing for my hand.

I'm about to say something when Sarah comes up behind me, wearing nothing but her underwear.

"What the fuck?" Naomi exclaims. "Fucking hell, you've been stringing me along. Fuck you."

Naomi makes to leave, throwing the flowers on the floor. "Wait!" I call, running after her, decency be damned. "I can explain."

"Really?" she says sarcastically, raising her eyebrows. "So tell me then, why is there a half naked girl in your flat? Unless she's your long lost sister, I don't think you can explain this away. What is this good reason, huh?"

"I was, uh, really drunk."

"Great. That's excellent. And what happened? Did you sleep with her?" I look at her mutely, my silence betraying me. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I'll see you at work tomorrow. Don't call."

"Please, Naomi. I, I-" I trail off, not knowing what to say.

Naomi looks at me, not with anger, but with sadness. "I thought that it would be okay. I thought that if I let someone in that I could protect myself from getting hurt. Guess I was wrong."

"I'm so sorry."

Naomi sniffs loudly and wipes her eyes. Shit, did I make her cry? I open my mouth to say something, but she turns around and walks away before I have the chance. Fucking hell.

"Hey," Sarah calls from behind me. "Come back in here, we need to talk."

"No the fuck we don't," I shoot back. I know it's not exactly fair to be mad at Sarah because it isn't like she forced herself on me, so I resign myself to talking and walk back to the flat. I immediately flop down onto the couch; Sarah sits next to me, anxiously running her hands along her thighs.

"Let me fix you a cup of tea," Sarah says, rubbing my back soothingly. "Earl Grey good?"

"Yeah," I mutter. I'm so fucking pissed off at myself. How could I do this? I'm not a cheater. Sarah quickly steeps the tea, then brings it over to me.

"Splash of cream and two cubes of sugar, just the way you like it," Sarah says, giving me an encouraging smile. "So about last night-"

"Look, it was a huge mistake and I don't want to get back with you, okay?"

"Fine. That's not what I was going to say actually. Let me say my bit before you talk, alright? Good. I love you, Emily. It may not seem that way with my constant infidelities, but I really do. But I've come to realize that I'm really not good enough for you. You deserve someone who doesn't trample on your heart. So I think you need to put everything you have into this relationship with Naomi. And if it doesn't work out, look me up in a few years, I'm going to be working on changing myself. But for now I'm setting you free, okay?"

"Well thanks for that," I say sarcastically. "But I don't really need your permission, and I've royally fucked up my relationship with Naomi."

"Ah, but you haven't. Last night we didn't have sex."

"We didn't?" I ask, feeling a well of hope come up inside of me.

"Nope. We got down to our bras and knickers, but then you kept on about Naomi this, Naomi that. Was pretty strange for me actually. I may be a cheater, but I care about you enough not to fuck up your relationship. And it's a complete turnoff knowing the girl will be fantasizing about someone else. So, go get her!"

"Oh my god, I'm so glad one of us was sober enough to remember what happened."

"Yep. Can we still be friends? I'd rather have you in my life as just a friend instead of nothing."

I smile for the first time today, "Well I have to make sure that Naomi is cool with that, but I would like to be your friend. Even if you did cause me unbelievable heartache."

"I'm a fuck-up, I admit it. And somehow I don't imagine your girlfriend being alright with us being mates right now. But maybe in a bit."

"Okay, good. Well I think I have an upset girlfriend to talk to. See you."

"Bye," she says before leaning forward and awkwardly giving me a hug.

I arrive at Naomi's place a few minutes later. I know I'm a bit disheveled, but I doubt that she'll care that much. Smiling happily, I knock on the door loudly. Nothing. I knock again. "Naomi!" Again, nothing. "I didn't sleep with her!" When I still get no reply, I pull out my phone and give her a call. She doesn't pick up, of course. So I text her:

_I didn't sleep with her~E xoxo_

I don't get a response, and I'm quickly becoming frustrated. Shit. I decide to call Effy and Katie. It rings for a bit before I hear it get picked up.

"Hello, you've reached the Stonem-Fitch residence." It's Katie.

"Hi, um, it's Emily. Is Effy or Naomi there?"

Katie sighs dramatically, "No. They left like five minutes ago. Naomi's girlfriend cheated on her. What a bitch. Effy is fucking livid."

"Do you know where they went?"

"Yeah, but they told me not to tell you. Which is really fucking weird, come to think about it. Why wouldn't they want you to know. Unless..." I can almost hear the cogs in Katie's brains moving. "Unless you're Naomi's girlfriend. You are, aren't you? You dirty cow."

"Leave it, Katie."

"I can't believe you're a cheater! And that you're dating your boss."

"Wasn't Effy your boss when you guys started dating?"

"Yeah, but that was like different. And anyway, you cheater, Effy is likely to rip your head off. Don't know if I'll stop her."

"I didn't cheat. Naomi caught be in a compromising position, but I didn't actually do anything. I was drunk. So I really need you to tell me where she is."

"Effy is going to be angry," Katie says anxiously.

"For fuck's sake, grow a pair. I need to know so I can make things right."

"Okay, okay. They went to Anthea's."

"Er, who's that?"

"Effy's mum, dummy."

"Thanks. Can you give me the address?" She quickly tells me. "Fuck, that's in Bristol. That's what, like two, three hours away?"

"Not my fault. Anyway, don't tell them I told you."

"Um, Katie, who else would know?"

"Aw, fuck. Damn, I did not think this through. Oh well, go and get your girl."

"You're not mad at me for not telling you? Or angry cuz it's Naomi?"

"Hell yes, I am. You should have told me, but I'm gonna let it slide just this once. For now. So get off your ass and find her!"

"'K, bye. Thanks."

"Mmhmm. Bye." I hang up the phone and contemplate how I'm going to get there. A car would be fastest, but I don't have one. Wracking my brains for ideas, I remember a friend who does have one. JJ. I dial up his number, hoping that he's in.

"Hello. This is JJ. Who is calling?"

"It's Emily. I, er, was wondering if I could have a huge favor."

"Emily! So nice of you to call. What would you like?"

"I, uh, need you to drive me to Bristol."

"Bristol? Why?"

"Cuz that's where Naomi is and we're broken up and I need to get back together with her."

"I'm so sorry. Of course I'll drive you. Is it all right if I bring someone along?"

"Sure," I answer curiously. "Who?"

"My new girlfriend, Tory."

"You have a girlfriend! Oh my god, you need to give me the details. But later, cuz we've got somewhere to be."

"Alright, I'll meet you in 15 minutes in front of your building, yeah?"

"Yep. Thanks a million, Jay."

"What are friends for? Well to be precise, they are a societal norm, a social construct. Though an argument can be placed that animals have bonding patterns as well. So I guess I'd have to say-"

"JJ! Locked on."

"Oops, sorry. Well I'll see you in a few. Bye"

"Bye." Okay, I have 15 minutes to make myself look sexy enough for Naomi to want to take me back. I decide on dark gray skinny jeans and a slightly revealing top. Before long, it's time for me to meet JJ.

I see him almost immediately, smiling and waving like a loon. There's a girl standing next to him and she's surprisingly fit.

"Hi, I'm Emily," I introduce myself. Tory smiles at me and grasps my hand.

"Lovely to meet you. Jay has told me all about you."

"All good, I hope?"

"Of course. He would never talk badly about a woman, would you, JJ?"

"No, never. Are we ready to depart ladies?"


	19. Chapter 19

Well the ride is certainly..._interesting_. Tory and JJ keep making little inside jokes and laughing. I know it's a bit self-centered to insist that they pay attention to me, but I'm wishing they would let me in.

"Spaghetti with syrup!" Tory cries, laughing and falling onto to JJ, who laughs too. The nice part of me is happy that my friend seems happy, but the less noble part is slightly jealous.

I decide to interject. "So, Tory, how long have you guys been dating?"

"Not long. Just since Effy's wedding."

"Oh, you know Effy?"

"Yeah, I'm her cousin."

Something stirs in my brain. Tory...Victoria! Effy's cousin who was a bridesmaid. Cook said JJ pulled her, guess he really did. "So you know Anthea?"

Tory scowls angrily, "No. That whore broke my uncle's heart."

"Oh, sorry. Sore subject, I guess."

She softens a little bit, smiling. I have to give it to JJ, she's cute. Dimples, nice smile, and a great rack. "Nah, I mean, she's been my aunt since I was born. I've still got love for her."

"Great, great. When did you and Jay get together?"

JJ and Tory share a look and laugh. "At Effy's wedding," Tory says, grinning. "Been inseparable since. Don't see how you let this one go!"

I laugh embarrassedly, "Well he's got a dick for one."

"That he does," Tory says lecherously, poking JJ in the side. Ew. Awkward. "How about you and, er-"

"Naomi," JJ supplies.

"-Naomi. When did you guys first start dating?"

"Hmm. Well we had been hardcore flirting for a while, but we didn't get together until the wedding either."

"Uh, do you mind if I ask you what precipitated the fight?" I see JJ whip his head around and look hungry for the answer.

"Well I met up with my ex, we stripped down to our underwear and fell asleep, Naomi found us, and she thinks I cheated on her."

"Man, that sucks."

"Yeah." The conversation is kind of killed, and we're silent for the rest of the ride.

"This is it," Tory says as we pull up to a house.

"Do you want us to come in with you?" JJ asks nervously.

"Nope. Unless you want to come in to say hi to Anthea?"

"Nooo," Tory says, "It's still too soon."

"Wish me luck."

"Good luck, Emily! I truly hope everything works out for you."

"Thanks, JJ." I make my way to the door, and desperately try to work up the courage to knock. Before I get the chance, the door opens, and an extremely pissed off Effy presents herself.

"What the fuck do you want, Fitch," she says flatly, the vision of tranquility though there's a vein throbbing in her neck.

"I really need to speak to Naomi," I plead.

"Well she really doesn't want to talk to you. Fuck, I can't believe Katie told you where we were. I'm going to kill her."

"Don't blame her, she had to tell me. I'm her sister. And anyways, can I please come in?"

"Do you remember what I told you about what would happen if you hurt her?" Effy asks menacingly.

"Goddammit, I didn't have sex with my ex. I don't even think we kissed. So can you move the fuck away and let me talk to my fucking girlfriend?"

Effy's eyes widen, and her mouth drops open. "Are you shitting me?"

"No! C'mon, I really need to speak with her."

"Alright," she replies, moving out of the way. I step into the house. There's a haze of smoke, and it smells like weed. Naomi's sitting on a couch, a half-smoked cigarette in one hand, a bottle of vodka in the other.

"You let her in. What the fuck, Eff." Naomi says bluntly. Effy shrugs and disappears into the kitchen.

"Naomi, I didn't sleep with her," I say eagerly, taking a seat next to her. She scooches away.

"Don't believe you," she mutters so quietly that I barely catch it.

"I promise. We stripped down and that's all. Not even making out. I'm not a cheater." Effy re-enters the room and sits down, her hands under her legs. Naomi doesn't respond to me, just takes another puff of the fag and swig of vodka. "Can you fucking stop that for a second?"

"Hmm, no. Fuck off, 'kay?"

"Chrissakes, I didn't sleep with her, Naomi. What's wrong now?"

"But you didn't know. You thought it was possible. And that means that you must have considered it. That you couldn't be sure you wouldn't have."

"So you're saying I can't even consider doing something stupid? Especially after we fought? That's ridiculous."

"Oh, so now I'm ridiculous, Fitch? Lovely."

Effy looks at me sympathetically. "Emily, I think you should leave."

"Please, Naomi," I beg, "I didn't fucking do anything." She remains silent for a second, then:

"I want you to leave."

My shoulders slump, "Okay. But please call me in the morning or whenever you're going to be back."

"We're going to come back today," Effy tells me while Naomi shoots daggers at her.

"Thanks," I sigh, gathering my bag and going outside.

"Wait!" Effy calls after me, running to JJ's car. "It's fucked now, but it'll be better." I look at her doubtfully. "Really."

"Yeah, maybe. Hopefully. I really care for her."

"She loves you, you know." My heart flutters at the word 'love'.

"Do you think so?"

"I'm her goddamn best friend, I think I know when she's in love."

"Well I hope so. Tell her I'll be home all night."

"Sure." Effy looks at me uncertainly, then lurches forward to give me a hug and kiss on the cheek. I'm a little touched by the effort, so I smile at her, though my guts are clenching and I feel like vomiting."Bye."

"Bye." I trudge back to the car, which is inhabited by JJ and Tory. Who are playing tonsil hockey. Gross. I knock on the window, but neither of them makes a move. "Open up, motherfuckers!"

JJ pulls his mouth away, blushing deeply. He rolls down the window, and unlocks the doors. "Sorry. That was rather quick, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," I groan as I slide into the back seat. "She won't listen."

"That's rough," Tory says, patting my hand.

"I'm still holding out hope, you know? Like that she'll get some sense. But whatever. I've had enough heartache today. Let's go home."

I fall into bed when I get home. With a groan, I stand up. My current clothes aren't the most comfortable. I pull off my shirt and jeans, and grab a large t-shirt.

My thoughts are racing, and I feel the anxiety rise within me. Luckily I've got a prescription for Trazodone, so I pop a pill, eat some graham crackers, and head to bed. I'm deep in a dream-filled sleep when I hear the door buzzer sound. And sound again, accompanied by hard knocking.

"Coming," I mutter sleepily. Whoever they are, is going to get a tongue lashing for waking me up. I open the door to see Naomi standing there, a scowl on her face. "Wha-"

She interrupts my thoughts by leaning forward and smashing her lips against mine. It's feverish kiss, and I feel myself being propelled backwards towards the bedroom. As soon as we reach the bed, she pushes me down hard, aggressively. It's all wrong, the way her hands are pawing at my body, the way she lowers herself on my body, the way her fingers slam inside of me, the way that she avoids my gaze. She hasn't bothered to take off her shirt or mine. This, this is _fucking, _plain and simple. I can't stop the tears from running down my face. Naomi notices almost immediately, stopping her motions. She sits up.

"Don't you want this Fitch? Not reaching the spot am I?" she taunts with a sneer, though I see pools of liquid forming in her eyes.

"Naomi, why are you doing this?"

She swallows thickly, and squeezes her eyes tight, then looks away."Fuck, I don't even know. I just, just..." A tear slides down her cheek, and I gently wipe it away.

"Look, we can just go back to the way things were, yeah?" I say desperately.

"No. I, I have a fucked up sense of trust. I need to know you're putting everything into this relationship."

"I am," I say angrily. "Jesus, can't you see that I'm trying."

"I know you are. But it's not enough."

The tears are flowing heavily now, I'm not even bothering to wipe them away. "Well then, what can I possibly do?"

"Make it up to me."

"Sure, whatever. How can I do that?"

She suddenly smiles, "One week. Seven days. Each day you'll do something for me that shows why you're good girlfriend material. Alright?"

"Fucking hell, I'd agree to anything at this point."

"Okay then."

"Are you staying?" I ask timidly, patting the space next to me on the bed.

"No." My face falls.

"Why not?"

"Cuz if I do, I might never leave," she says with a sad smile, "Good night, Ems." She stands up, adjusts her clothes, then leaves. I flop down on my bed, thoughts running through my mind. I've never had to work this hard for a girl, but I don't even care. I want her back.


	20. Chapter 20

I wrack my brain for ideas. I want to do something really special, something that will make sure she wants to be with me. The thing is, Naomi is picky. I need to figure out what she likes. Even though according to my clock, it's 3:00 AM, I pick up my phone and dial Effy's cell.

"What the fuck, Emily," she says, not quite sounding angry, but a step above her normal toneless voice.

"Hey, sorry to bother you so late, but I need your help."

"Jesus fucking Christ, what do you-hang on a second," her voice gets quieter, "K, it's fine. Just your stupid sister needing something—okay, what do you want?"

"I, uh, well I need to talk to you about Naomi. She hasn't called you tonight, has she?"

"Well seeing as we got home around 12:00, she had the decency to let me get my rest. So, no."

"Ah, good. Um, can you come over to my place?"

"It can't wait til tomorrow?"

"Er..."

She sighs, then: "Kay, I'll be over in twenty."

"Thanks," I say with a smile.

"You owe me after this. Like you need to make Katie my sex-slave for a week or something." I laugh nervously, cuz that's just _fucking weird_. "I'm not kidding"

"Ew, that was completely uncalled for. Gross. See you in a few."

I giddily sit down at my couch after I pull on some pajama pants and a bra. I can fix this. Even though I didn't do anything wrong. We were broken up, and it's not like Naomi hadn't done the same thing with Shana. But whatever. I'm lying back, thinking of what to do when my phone rings.

"Effy?"

"No, it's me," the voice answers snippily.

"Katie? Why are you calling?"

"Hmm, I don't know, maybe because you dragged my fucking wife out of our bed in the middle of the night!"

"Oh. Yeah. There is that. I, er, really needed some advice on Naomi. And I need to be prepared for tomorrow, starting tonight. So it's kinda justified." I wince as I think of her reaction.

"What-fucking-ever. As long as you two aren't screwing, then it's fine."  
"Ew, no. I'm sort of still with Naomi. And I just don't find Effy that attractive. And she's your wife. And she kind of really annoys me sometimes."

"Are you blind, girl? She's fucking fit as fuck. So why do you need advice on Naomi? Eff told me she didn't take you back just yet."

"She told me I had a week to convince her that I was excellent girlfriend material."

Katie snorts, "Fuck, that's retarded movie shit."

"No, it's not," I say unconvincingly. "Anyway, Effy will be here soon, do you need anything else?"

"No," she says with a yawn, "Good luck, little sis."

"Bye." I click the phone shut, only to have it buzz a second later.

_No sex either~N_

Dammit.

_Why not?~E_

_ Cuz its against rules~N_

_ Ok, fine :)~E xoxo_

_ What about sexting? haha~E xxx_

_ Lol, we'll see about that~N x_

I smile when I see her message. It appears that not all will be weird between us.I hear Effy outside of the door. She pushes right past me when I let her in.

"Liquor. Now," she demands, entering my kitchen and opening random cabinets.

"Are you sure you want to be drinking so much before a Monday?"

"Fuck it, Fitch, we're doing this my way!"

"Okay, okay." I pull out a bottle of tequila and slam it on the table. "Happy?"

She just smiles, and takes a seat. I grab some shot glasses, pour in the booze, and throw it back with Effy. I wince a little bit. What, I've never been able to hold my liquor.

"So, Emily, what do you need?"

"I need to know more about Naomi. What she likes, what she'd want. She told me I have seven days to show her how much I care."

"Hmm," Effy murmurs, a bigger smile creeping on her face. "I like it. Naomi's finicky as you probably already know. Things you could do. First off, I'd like to apologize for assuming the worst. I'm just a little protective of her, you know? And I need to know exactly how you feel about her." She looks at me expectantly.

"Um, I don't know if I'm comfortable talking about it with you," I say quickly.

"Do you love her?"

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "I don't know." She raises an eyebrow at me. I look away, thinking hard. Saying it just solidifies it. "Yes. I'm in love with her."

She beams at me, her face looking very un-Effy-like "That's excellent. I hoped from the first time we met that you'd be the girl for her. And now it seems you are."

I flush, embarrassed. "Well, we don't know that. Anyway, can we get back to the point?"

Effy shakes her head, still smiling. "You don't know how happy you're making me."

"Um, I'd rather be making _Naomi_ happy," I say pointedly.

"Yeah, yeah. That's the thing, you are. She called me the morning after you two slept together for the first time." Where is she going with this?

I shift uncomfortably. I'm not sure if I like that Naomi did that. I mean, I know she and Effy are really close, but still.

"Calm down, she didn't tell me that you guys slept together. She tried to lie and say you just slept over without anything happening, but I could tell. I don't know when I've ever heard her that happy. Even with Fiona, she was moody, depressed, all sorts of shit. So thank you."

"Don't be thanking me just yet, she was crying earlier."

"Aw, fuck. Okay, down to ideas. Let's plan out the first day."

I grin, "I have an idea."


	21. Chapter 21

I look at Naomi, nervous as hell. This past week, well it's been amazing. Yeah, my savings took a hit, and I was pretty much exhausted throughout, but it was amazing spending time with her. As I watch her over the fire with butterflies in my stomach, I think back to the conversation Effy and I had.

_"I have no fucking clue what to do," I tell Effy. "I mean, where do I even start?"_

_ "Hmm, is there anything that you're good at?"_

"_One of my good friends is a masseuse. We went to the classes together even though I've never had the chance to try it out on someone. So I suppose I could do that."_

_ "Not even Sarah?" Effy asks, sounding surprised._

_ "Nope. She didn't usually waste any time, er, getting down to business, and she usually left afterwords."_

_ "That sucks. Sounds like a good idea, though. Where does your friend work?"_

_ "She's independent. Brings the table round to her clients' houses along with the oils and stuff. I'm sure I could borrow the equipment for some night."_

_ "Alright, that sounds like a great idea. Should probably do it here so when you inevitably get it on, you're not in some weird place."_

_ "We're not going to sleep together during this period apparently," I say dejectedly._

_ Effy winces, "Damn, that's tough. Let's see, what else does she like?"_

_ "Shit, I don't know! I can't think straight."_

_ She purses her lips, "You're such a fucking lesbian. Can't think straight? You walked into that one. I actually have a really good idea. When Naomi was little, she really wanted to go on a rollercoaster. She begged her parents, but they were too strung out to care. And by the time I came around, she and I were more interested in getting high and sleeping with boys." I make a face. "And come uni time, girls. So I think you should take her to an amusement park."_

_ I swallow hard. "I'm not that good with heights." Effy gives me a look. "Okay, okay, I'll do it."_

_ "Good. Hmm, what else? She's rich as hell-"_

_ "And I'm poor as fuck," I interject._

_ "-So we should do something low cost. She loves a good arthouse movie. Well not arthouse, but like ones that really fuck with your mind."_

_ "Okay, mindfucking movie marathon. That's two days."_

_ "What about dancing? Naomi always wanted to learn to salsa."_

_ My mouth grows dry as I think of Naomi dancing. And in my mind's eye, it's more exotic dancing than salsa. Bad Emily, focus! I shake my head to rid myself of the naughty thoughts. "Yeah, but how am I going to get the money for dance lessons?"_

_ Effy smiles. "Katie."_

_ "I'm not borrowing money from her."_

_ "That's not what I'm talking about."_

_ "Er, Eff, I don't know who you're talking about, but Katie does not know how to teach salsa."_

_ "No, but she used to fuck an instructor regularly. For all the blow jobs she's given him, he owes it to her sister to do something. I'll have her call him, yeah?"_

_ "You're not weirded out about calling one of your wife's ex-lovers?"_

_ Effy smirks, "We've were both pretty promiscuous in our youth."_

_ "Gross. Three days, then."_

_ "Bring her round here, fix her her favorite meal, I'll throw in a nice bottle of wine, and make a mix tape of her favorite songs. And put some flowers out. Don't worry, I've got a floral connection" I look at questioningly. "Okay, I used to sleep with a florist. We were fuck-buddies, but we are still good friends. She's quite nice."_

_ "Well that would amazing except the only thing out of those that I know is her flowers. Tulips."_

_ Effy smiles and relays the rest of the list. I write it all down. "Wouldn't it be better to do it at hers? That way she doesn't have to go home late, probably slightly tipsy."_

_ "Uh, yeah. Here, I'll give you my key to the place, and you go set it up tomorrow. I'll make sure she's out of the house from say 5:00 til 7:00."_

_ "Thanks, Eff, you're a lifesaver."_

_ "I want my best friend to be happy."_

_ "So four days."_

_ "Five, you should take her to do something that you really love. Show her your interests, you know?"_

_ "Okay. Six?"_

_ "I think you should go to Bristol. That's our hometown."_

_ "Why? And where would we stay? I don't exactly have the money for a hotel."_

_ "I have a house there."_

_ "You mean your mum's," I ask skeptically._

_ "No. It's one my brother bought for me when I was in uni. He's loaded. I'll give you the keys."_

_ "And what purpose will this trip serve?"_

_ "Well on Saturday, you can get her to show you around it. I'll tell you some spots that are special to her. I think you should set a scavenger hunt around Bristol."_

_ "Thank you so much, Effy," I say with a relieved smile. "I don't know what I would have done without you."_

_ "It's fine, Little Fitch. If you're happy, Katie's happy. And if Katie's happy, then I'm happy. So I'm not really doing you or my best mate a favor. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"_

_ "'Little Fitch'? Oi, I'm only younger than Katie by like 10 minutes."_

_ "And that makes all the difference. I'm gonna go."_

_ "Okay. If you're tired, you can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch?"_

_ Effy shakes her head with a little smile, "No thanks, I fall asleep faster when I'm next to Katie."_

_ Aw..._

_ Her smile turns wicked, "And the early morning sex is pretty nice too. Adios."_

I had used most of the ideas we had come up with. The massage went really well—almost too well. Rubbing your hot girlfriend's body down with oil tends to work up a...sweat. So, yeah, we almost broke the no-sex rule then. And again when I made the dinner. And again when we had the movie marathon. Hmm, actually thinking about it, pretty much all of the dates had ended up with us all hot and bothered in various states of undress.

Even though all the dates had gone, well, _wonderful_, work was really strange. Monday went okay, and so did Tuesday. But during a meeting we had with one of our biggest clients, the shit hit the fan.

_"So that is how we think that we can help you," Naomi says with a smile as she finishes her presentation. She's wearing a tight blue shirt that really brings out her eyes and a black pencil skirt. I'm taking the notes, but I can't tear my eyes away from her. Effy and Katie share a look across the table._

_ "Emily!" Katie mutters as she kicks me under the table. I look at her with a scowl._

_ "_What_?"_

_ "Stop looking at Campbell like that! Her tits aren't what's important!"_

_ I shake my head, and plaster a smile on my face as I write down what the president of their company says. The rest of the meeting goes well, and the room begins to empty. As I try to leave, Naomi grabs my arm, pulling me back in. We both smile as the other occupants of the room depart._

_ "Ems, we need to talk."_

_ "About what?" I ask, slightly worried._

_ Naomi frowns, "Fitch, you can't let our personal life interfere with work. If you look like you're about to ravage me in front of the clients, we as a company will come across very unprofessional. Do you understand what I mean?"_

_ "Uh, yes. Yes, of course, Ms. Campbell." I reply with a little nod of my head._

_ She sighs loudly and sits on the conference room table, "Emily, come here."_

_ I move forward a little reluctantly. She's been on my case all week about being more professional. I mean, half of the employees know we're dating. The clients have no clue, and if they do, they're not showing it. So what does it matter?_

_ "Do you need something else, Ms. Campbell?" I ask as innocently as possible._

_ "For fuck's sake, Em, don't be like that. I'm trying to run a company here. You're my girlfriend, but you're also my assistant. I need assisting here at work, and a girlfriend at home. Okay?"_

_ "Fine," I huff, "May I leave? I need to organize the Harada file."_

_ "Yeah," she says, trying to pull me in for a kiss. I whip a folder up in front of my face._

_ "No, we're _at work,_" I say with a smirk. "See you later, boss." I twirl around and go to my desk. I can almost see Naomi's eyeroll._

Even though I can't say that work is going well, I think I am getting back into Naomi's good graces. As per Effy's suggestion, we're in Bristol for the weekend. I got her to show me around some of the places of her childhood, but we mainly went to this amusement park nearby. Yes, she got me to go on the scary rides with promises of kisses.

But today I sent her off to a spa while I made preparations. Effy told me about this lake, this lake that Naomi apparently went to relax. I was a bit nervous that Naomi wouldn't want me to invade her space, but Effy assured me that Naomi would love it. I put candles everywhere around the tent I had set up. Some champagne and take-away Chinese completed the scene. Well that and a blanket.

She had arrived on the back of the scooter I had sent to pick her up. Yep, I paid some college kid to give me his scooter for the day. I figured it was the best way to get her out here and she had said she had ridden one in college herself.

So now she's arrived, and is looking around the scene I've created. I swallow nervously.


	22. Chapter 22

Naomi glances around at the candles, and the blanket, and the tent. "How-how did you find out about this place?"

I feel myself deflate. She doesn't like it and thinks that I've invaded her special spot. I mumble, "Er, Effy told me. I'm sorry, I should have know better. If you head back, I can clean this up."

"What?" she asks, looking genuinely confused.

"You don't like..._this_. I fucked up, sorry."

She moves towards me in a few strides, cupping my face with her hands. "It's not that. Ems, I—look at me—I think it's wonderful."

"You do?" I say, still feeling very small and insecure.

"Yes, you silly fool. I like everything you do, Ems. So, shall we eat?"

"Yeah," I say, as I pull her to sit down. "We've got Szechuan Beef, Chicken Lo Mein, and Sesame Chicken. And some egg rolls."

"Delicious," Naomi says with a smile as she pulls out one of the boxes. The next few minutes are filled with us eating. I'm too nervous to talk, seeing as tonight's the night Naomi's going to decide whether I'm girlfriend material. Naomi seems to just want to devour her food.

"Hungry much?" I ask with a smile.

She nods as she chews a mouth full of egg roll. "Very."

"Glad I could help."

"You're very helpful to me, Ems. Why else would I keep you as my PA?"

I laugh a bit, "Way to ruin the mood with shop talk."

"Hey, it's not really shop talk. Just a simple statement of fact. I am your boss, and you are my personal assistant."

"Okay, okay."

"Yes, you are lucky enough to date me, the mighty Naomi Campbell!"

"Agreed, but I hope I'm not just your PA forever!" I hear a tint of desperation in my voice, but Naomi doesn't seem to notice.

"Haha, I think you will be!" She smiles as she tells me this, and I know that I should let it slide. But it's bringing up thoughts I've had all week, negative thoughts about how unworthy I am. She senses the change in my mood. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's just that reminding me of our roles isn't my favorite topic."

Naomi tilts her head, and says with genuine confusion, "Why?"

"I can't help but feel slightly inferior to the 'mighty Naomi Campbell'."

She laughs, "You're joking, right?"

"No," I answer, "I am an assistant, I get you coffee, I organize files, I do simple tasks for you."

"So?"

"Well I'm not really in your league."

"Please tell me you're not serious." I don't respond, just sit next to her sullenly. "Emily, why do you think I'm dating you if I'm supposedly 'out of your league', which by the way is a completely ridiculous statement."

"It's not ridiculous."

"It is!" she insists, her eyes flaming. "I'm sorry I mentioned work in the first place, but you've obviously got to get something off your chest!"

"No, it's not your fault. I've just been thinking a lot about us. Our dates were—are—great, but you're just, you know, _better_. The difference in our... _leagues_, or whatever, gets to me. You're successful, you're wealthy, you're cultured and smart and a whole lot of other things."

"You didn't answer my question," she says, with a slight snarl.

"Um okay. I suppose I'm attractive enough, and I'm convenient?"

"'Convenient'?" she spits out, and I can hear the disgust in her voice, but don't know how to take it.

"Well I'm your best mate's sister-in-law, I'm your assistant, so I'm around you a lot, and you can talk to me about work stuff without me being confused or you worrying about confidentiality."

I see angry tears in her eyes before she stands up and stiltedly walks towards the water.

"What are you doing?"

"Going for a swim, I need to clear my head, okay!" I watch as she strips off her shirt and jeans, leaving her just in her bra and panties. She gracefully dives into the water.

"Wait, you can't go swimming alone at night!" She doesn't answer. "Fucking hell." I, too, strip down and plunge myself into the freezing water, breath knocked out of me.

I think I must have screamed when I hit the water, because Naomi is by my side in an instant. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I chatter out, shivering.

"Are you going to be able to swim?" There's an unnatural flatness to her voice, worse than the bitchy tone she used with me from the beginning.

"Yes," I say quietly. She nods and swims away. I call out after her, "Please. I'm sorry."

She keeps her distance, but yells out, "For what?

"For whatever I've said that upset you. You know that I lo-care for you deeply."

I can almost hear her sigh, "Do you know why I'm upset though?"

"No," I admit, "Did I hit on a sore point?"

"Fuck! No.. C'mon, let's get out. I suppose that it would be better if I told you what was wrong, because keeping _your_ feelings to yourself led to this."

"Okay," I reply quickly. She swims over to the edge and lifts herself out, giving me a nice show before she pulls me out. I must look really scared because she gives me a quick, chaste kiss.

Once we're wrapped up in jumpers and blankets, Naomi takes a deep breath and looks at me. "Do you understand why I would be upset that my girlfriend thinks I'm only with her because she's hot enough to fuck and '_convenient'_? Am I that shallow and sex-starved?"

"No."

"Right, so there must actually be a reason why I'm dating you. A reason why I'm in the first relationship I've had in years. And it's not because I've had some sudden epiphany that I should date again."

"Yeah..."

She takes my face in her hands and forces me to look at her. "You're right, Ems, I might be a millionaire or whatever, and seem like I've got it together, but I don't. It's nice to have money and people who are paid to do what I want, but my money's not gonna make me feel less lonely. My money doesn't make me smile. That's what _you _are for. You are what gets me through the days now."

After this declaration, I figure I should make a smooth comment or reciprocate the feeling, but instead I blurt out, "You're a millionaire?"

Her face reddens a bit and she chuckles, "Yes..but remember that's not the important thing? I only said that you would be my PA forever because I would selfishly want that. Even if I'm a hard-ass at work, I love being around you all the time. Seeing you bustling about with a smile on your face makes me happy. And why do you think I keep dropping things on the floor? I'm not _that_ clumsy. And as for the success or whatever shit you mean by that, I'm almost 28, I've had some time to build up my business. You're only 23; you could easily catch up to me. And you know what? I don't care what you do. Well, within reason. Prostitution is definitely out. Stripping is probably not—never mind. Anyway, how much money you have and your rank or position doesn't change who you are. You're Emily, and you're smart, beautiful, caring, sweet, thoughtful, funny, Jesus, _everything_. I'm the luckier one here, there's not many amazing girls who would put up with me and my defenses and walls and craziness."

"Oh," I say slowly, processing everything. "Does this mean that we're actually back together?"

She doesn't say anything, just leans forward and gives me a soft, slow kiss. "If you're not too pissed off at me forcing you to prove yourself."

I know I could be difficult, could punish her for her insecurity and lack of trust. But having her be mine again is enough to squash any resentment I have towards her."No. I think we should have a clean slate."

"That sounds great," she drawls, pushing me onto my back, and sliding her hands under my shirt.

"Is the sex rule over too?" I squeak out, my voice embarrasingly high.

"Yes," she says seconds before crashing our lips together. Our hands are more feverish against each other's bodies than they have ever been before. We're stripped down in record time, and our kisses seem more desperate than they should be for make-up sex.

"Naomi, wait," I say against her neck, repeating myself when she doesn't stop.

She pulls away, her blue eyes darker than I've ever seen them. "Why? I want you."

The simple statement gives me shivers. "I want you too. Just-just slower, yeah?"

She gives a little nod and smile, then pushes me back down. Her movements are tantalizingly slow after that, teasing me slowly. After unabashedly begging her to 'touch me already', she complies with slow and steady strokes. I'm about fall over the edge when she stills her movements.

"Don't stop," I gasp.

"Look at me," she demands, and I struggle to open my eyes. Her darkened but beautiful blue eyes pierce into mine, and I don't think I've ever felt so intimate with someone. "Keep them open."

I nod helplessly as she beings anew. I try and fulfill her request, keeping eye contact, but as she speeds up again, my eyes flutter closed. She doesn't seem to mind. Just whispers in my ear, right before I come, "I love you."

And then I explode.

She keeps whispering the phrase in my ear as I come down, until I can finally open my eyes and breathe.

"Jesus. That was-fuck. I never.. Just. Shit." I babble incoherently, this night turning better as each second passes. She smirks, seeming pleased with herself.

"So I haven't lost my touch then?"

I blink a few times, then laugh, "In a week? No, if anything you've gotten better."

"No, in a year" she replies. Seeing my confused face, she elaborates, "I hadn't been intimate with anyone for, well, a while before I got with you."

"Oh." My brain still can't seem to process anything tonight, but I know that if I don't touch my beautiful girlfriend soon, I'm going to combust. "But now we're together."

"Yes," she says, the playful tone still in her voice. I like it.

"And you love me?"

"...Yes. I don't expect you to say it ba-"

I cut her off with my lips, "I love you too."


	23. Chapter 23

**ALL CHAPTERS ARE UP, BUT SOME HAVE BEEN CONDENSCED**

We're cuddled up in the tent, both of us exhausted from our, uh, _activities._ Neither of us has drifted off yet. Probably because we're physically tired, but mentally wide awake. We talked for a bit earlier..by talk I mean we actually went over some heavy shit.

_"God, that was amazing," Naomi moans, breathing heavily as I mold my body around hers. "_You_ were amazing." (We just finished another round of amazing sex, if you hadn't figured that out)._

_ I pretend to brush some dust off my shoulders, "Yeah, I'm a dynamo in the sack."_

_ She chuckles a bit, "Definitely. So modest, too!"_

_ "Are you suggesting that I'm not humble," I say, pretending to be affronted._

_ "Nooo, of course not," she tells me, her hair tickling my neck as she giggles._

_ "May I remind you that mere hours ago you were referring to yourself as 'The Mighty Naomi Campbell'?"_

_ "Damn, you caught me being a hypocrite. That's never happened before."_

_ I smile, and trail my fingers down her chest, reveling in the slight shiver that goes through her._

_ "Emily, as much as I love you, I don't think I can handle another go yet!" _

_ "We'll build up your endurance, don't worry."_

_ She looks at me, locking eyes with me, and I can see the unguarded trust in them. "I won't worry if you're there with me. Gah, I'm becoming really cheesy. Just so you know, I get really, really sappy when I love someone. Except Effy. Well, I mean, I'm not _in_ love with her, so that makes sense. And you two are really the only two people that I love, so I guess I can't-"_

_ "So," I interrupt, keeping our intense eye-contact "When did you realize that you loved me?"_

_ She shrugs with a carefree smile that I've rarely seen before, "I don't know. Maybe when you showed up at my house and made the soup? It was—it was the sweetest thing that anyone's ever done for me. Before this week, of course."_

_ I laugh a bit (she must be joking, right?), "That would be sad if it was true."_

_ With a little shake of her head, she looks me in the eyes and replies, "No. I'm serious. I mean, my, uh, parents weren't exactly the best. Effy's not exactly the sweet type either." Fuck. This cannot be a safe topic. I've never even heard her mention her parents before._

_ "I'm sorry for that, Naomi. I don't know much about them, but Effy tells me they were pretty shit. Do-do you mind telling me a bit about it?"_

_ I can see unshed tears forming in her eyes, and brush them off with the pads of my thumbs. Dammit, it seems that we can never have a safe conversation. I kiss her eyelids soothingly._

_ "I should be over it, really. They didn't do anything terrible. No physical abuse, just shouting when they were shit-faced. My father, he was the drinker, when he was around which wasn't much. Mum, mum was more into drugs, but she wouldn't turn down a drink either. My father cheated and left home for months at a time, always coming back when he ran out of money and friends. While he was gone, Mum would go into a depressive stage where she'd invite her druggie friends to live with us because she was so lonely. The women were okay, but Mum spent most of her time on her back with the guys. They were so fucked up that they didn't care where their impromptu orgies would take place, so I spent a lot of time out of the house. I had no friends because I was deathly shy, and I thought everyone would leave me. The only saving grace to this little tale of woe was the money that my grandmother left me. She left some for Mum, enough to fuel her addictions and a moderate lifestyle, aka buying food and clothes. The trust was for me. It's how I started the company. Things got better when I got to college. Effy introduced me to, well, _everything_. I partied, I admit it. Just some drugs and drinks, some slutty hookups. Effy and Tony are the masters of that. Eff's parents, Anthea and Jim, were wonderful to me, and I stayed at their house most of the time. Went to uni and haven't seen either of wrecks I call parents since I got the last of my things from the house. So that's my family, what about yours? Any sordid stories?" She gives a sarcastic chuckle, trying to hide the emotions that have undoubtedly emerged. _

_ "Wow," I say, unable to think of the right words. "That must have sucked." It's the wrong words, nowhere near compassionate enough. But they're all I have._

_ "Yeah," she agrees, before turning away. She's clearly upset and, in her usual fashion, doesn't want me to see. In what I hope is a calming way, I rub her back as she quietly cries._

_ After a few minutes, I decide that she's had enough 'getting it all out time', so I kiss her lightly on the shoulder, "Naomi, look at me. C'mon. It's okay now, yeah? They're gone and can't hurt you anymore. And if they somehow come here, I will kick their arses so hard that, well, it will be _really_ painful." I hear a rough chuckle._

_ Naomi shifts again, this time facing me. Her eyes are red-rimmed, but dry."I know. I shouldn't care so much. But I'm fucking pissed off! I had a shitty childhood."_

_ "Yeah, you did," I say, continuing to rub my hands over her sides. "But you've got a lovely adult life now." I hear her scoff a bit. "Seriously, Naomi. What you've done by age 27 is amazing! Life is hopefully good now, right?"_

_ "With you here, yeah, now I do," she concedes, "But before you, I spent most of my twenties pining over a woman who fucking left me!"_

_ I swallow uncomfortably as I think about what she could mean. Sensing this, she follows up with, "Sorry for ruining this perfect night by being such a downer."_

_ "No, baby, you haven't," I quickly assure her, "I want you to share this kind of stuff with me. As you mentioned earlier, bottling things up does not help us. And yes, Fiona left you. I know I'm no replacement, but I love you, and I'm not leaving until you ask me to. And then I'll beg some more."_

_ She shakes her head, "I don't think I'll ever ask you to leave. And you're not a replacement for Fiona, that's right. I know this is soon, but I will tell you this: I love you more than I ever loved her."_

_ "Really?" I ask, dumbstruck._

_ She just smiles and nods, pulling me closer to her body._

We haven't said anything since that, and that was an hour ago. Like I said, the silence is comfortable. My heart feels like it's going to burst with happiness.

I wake up with a pair of warm arms loosely encircling me. I look up at my beautiful girlfriend, who appears to still be asleep. My heart swells as I see a small smile on Naomi's face instead of the usual scowl or anguished appearance. Being the perv I am, I look downward towards her body, warmth settling low into my belly immediately. I can't help but trail my fingers from her neck down her body.

"Like what you see?" Naomi asks, cracking open an eye.

"Shit, sorry! I didn't mean to wake you...or y'know, be such a perv," I apologize profusely.

She chuckles and tells me, "I've been awake for a bit, Ems. You're not the only perv in this relationship...and that sounded a lot worse than what I meant."

I laugh with her, and press a quick kiss on her lips. "Don't worry, we can be pervy together."

She begins to respond, the intoxicating smile still on her lips, when my stomach rumbles loudly.

"Hungry much?"

Nodding with embarrassment, I explain, "I was too nervous to eat much last night."

"I was so nervous that I couldn't stop eating. You're going fatten me up! Soon I'll be a stroppy fatarse and then you'll want to break up with me! You'll lose whatever attraction you might have for me."

I slowly rake my eyes over her body, "Trust me, babe, you don't need to worry about that any time soon. In fact," I continue upon seeing her rather bony ribs, "you could do with a bit more, like, _meat_ on yourself."

She rolls her eyes, "Whatever, Ems, you know I have a rocking body—you're just used to the body building types from Fitch Fitness, with their steroid induced hair problems."

"Body building types with hair issues? Yeah, no..just no."

"What about _Lawrence_," she drawls out, "He was pretty buff."

It's my turn to roll my eyes, "You're right, Naoms. What I really want is a woman who could might accidentally snap my neck just by brushing it. The sense of danger..wow, it just turns me on to no end!"

"I can't live up to your ridiculously high standards! Jesus, Emily, you're just a size queen!"

"Oh, yes, you know it."

Naomi doesn't answer at first, just plays with my hair some more. Then, "This is disgusting."

"What? I mean, I suppose the lake water made it kinda gross, but-" I feel slightly offended...

"No, not your hair, dummy. This conversation, the banter. It's sickeningly sweet. I don't do sweet at all, let alone how fucking sugary this is."

"Um, sorry?" I offer, not sure where's she going with this.

She shakes her head, "No, no. I like it. Embarrassing as it would be if anyone found out—okay, mainly if Effy found out—it is actually quite nice."

"Oh. Good?"

"Very good," she replies before placing a quick kiss on my lips. "I should tell you now, I'm really going to try and spoil you."

I frown, "What does that mean exactly."

"Well you did such a good job this week that I want to reciprocate in every way possible. It's really gonna suck asking Katie what you like, so don't be surprised if I let slip a torrent of details about our sex life slip."

"Please don't. Katie will retaliate by telling me about her experiences with really gross men. Or she'll tell me more about her and Effy's sex life, and I really don't want to know."

"Well then how will I know what you like?"

I pretend to ponder over this, tapping my finger on my jaw, "Hmm, I don't suppose you could try and get to know me, could you?"

"Geez, I don't think I have enough time. I'll have to put my assistant on that." She freezes for a second, worried that I'll freak out over the job situation again. I really don't feel like addressing that again, even though it doesn't bother me very much anymore, so I lean over and kiss her. Relaxing into the kiss, she takes control and presses my down against the sleeping bag. She pulls back after a few seconds.

"You're still hungry, aren't you?"

I lick my lips, "Always."

"God, not like that, you pervert! I mean like a muffin or something."

My face goes slightly red, "Oh yeah...that would be nice."

"Gimme a minute," Naomi tells me, presses another quick kiss on my lips before ruffling around in her bag. After dialing a number quickly from memory, she begins to talk with what seems to be a restaurant. "Hey, I'd like to get some danishes and blueberry muffins delivered. And maybe some coffee and orange juice and water...yeah, I'm at this lake about five minutes from-...you fucking can deliver it here, you little prick!...Oh, you're not going to take this from me? I'll fucking buy the bakery and then you're going to get it! Actually, I _would_ like to speak to your owner..."

"Naomi," I interject, "it's not that big of a deal.."

She turns to me, still looking incredibly pissed off. Her face softens as I smile at her; she ends the call.

"Yeah, okay. You're right, as usual. We'll go to this place that my friend owns. Well, more of Effy's friend, but close enough."


	24. Chapter 24

"Heeyy, Naomi! Looong time, no see!"

Naomi smiles and hugs the guy who bounds over when he sees us in the crowded cafe. "Hi, Chris. Nice to see you. What's it been, three years?"

"At least! I was sorry I couldn't come to Eff's wedding, I heard it was quite the party." He turns to me and squints at me, "Are you Katie then?"

Putting a protective arm around, Naomi says (somewhat tightly, I might add), "No, this is Emily, _my_ girlfriend."

He raises his eyebrows, "Huh, sorry. I thought I saw you in the wedding pictures. But, you know, in a white dress and stuff."

"My twin sister, Katie, married Effy. If you ever seen her, remember that she's the one with the lisp dressed like a skank."

"Hey, are you calling my best mate's wife a skank?" Naomi asks with mock severity as I smile and nod. "Brilliant, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks that."

Chris looks between us, shaking his head slowly like he's trying to process something confusing. "So the skank is married to the slut, and Naomi is with the, uh, hot-no-avera-no-" (Naomi scowls at him threateningly after each word, so he seems to be trying to find a word that is innocuous enough to please her) "beautiful one."

"Mmhmm."

"Right, right..so you two in town with them then?"

"Nah, just us two," I tell him, sticking out my hand. He seems nice, if a bit airheaded.

"Lovely to meet you! And Naomi, glad you found a nice looking girl. Remember Jal?" He looks around the restaurant comically, evidently trying to locate _Jal_.

"Jal?" I ask, trying not to sound suspicious even though I'm wondering who the fuck Jal is, and whether she's prettier than me. That comment could go either way.

Naomi smiles widely at me as she raises an eyebrow, "Jealous?"

"No," I shoot back defensively, "Purely curious."

Sighing with sickeningly condescending air, Naomi kisses the top of my head and mumbles, "Jal is a friend. Never been anything more. Straight as an arrow."

"She's my girlfriend. We're expecting too!" Chris tells me, wrapping his arms around Naomi's and my shoulders. "JAL!"

"Christ, could you be any less loud? You're gonna scare away the fucking customers." A pretty woman comes out of the kitchen, pregnant and far along at that. "Oh! Hey, Naomi! It's nice to see you. How's Effy and her, uh, wife?"

"They're doing well. This my girlfriend, Emily. She's actually Effy's sister-in-law."

"Trapped with the Stonems, tough luck," Jal says, wiping her hands on an apron before offering me her hand.

"Eff's a lot better now," Naomi defends, somewhat halfheartedly.

"Not the Stonem I'm talking about," she mutters quietly, "So on a different note, er..."

"Cassie's doing well," Chris interjects, "Much better in this new worky-program thing. Waitresses here every other Sunday, which is brilliant because it's the only day Jal and I can both take off."

"That's nice," Naomi agrees, "Always hoped she'd sort her shit out."

"Yeah, and Ma-"

He's interrupted by Naomi's stomach growling loudly.

"Suppose you want food then...right, so we have a really good quiche today, freshly baked blueberry scones, eggs however you'd like 'em, sausages, cinnamon rolls. Um, what else? Just take a menu. Whatever you like, on the house."

"You're going to have to roll me out from here," Naomi moans, leaning back in her chair and clutching her stomach. "I am pregnant with a food baby. Food _babies_ actually. Triplets. Quintuplets. I shudder when I think of how many calories I've just ingested. Enough to feed a small country or Cook or urgh..."

"It wasn't _that_ much..."

"Whatever, Ems, we're two small-ish women that never need to eat that much."

I glance down at the table, the crumbs leftover from our feast comprising at least enough food for another meal. "We were hungry."

She shoots me a pointed, sarcastic smile, "_Clearly_."

"I need a lot of sustenance."

This earns me an eye-roll, "Yep, I can imagine the nutritional needs of someone your size. That is, similar to a large ferret."

"Pure muscle," I retort, flexing my biceps pointedly.

"Okay, okay," she acquiesces, "But I'm hardly an athletic person."

Squeezing her thigh under the table, I murmur in her ear, "You were plenty athletic last night."

**A/N: I'm sorry for the very, very short chapter. But I felt I needed to get something out there. My creativity has run dry. Very sorry guys...**

**On a side note, I need some help with something and you UK people might be able to help. PM me (I promise it's not skeezy, illegal, or weird)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Sorry for the huge wait. There's really no excuse. Thank you to everyone who's left a nice review, it's really meant a lot. And texasgirl especially :)**

"Fuck me, this is urgh..." I moan, stretching out my sore arms, and putting down the heavy box.

"You're a Fitch, Emily! Buck up!"

I send Effy a scathing look, "I don't see you getting off your arse to help."

"I told you, I, uh, pulled a muscle. It really hurts." I can see her smirk and, for once, it's sort of like a normal person's smirk—teasing me.

"Oh yeah, how did you do that?" I ask, hand on my hip.

"Having sex with your sister. Lots and lots of sex. With Katie. Your sister."

"I'm gonna strangle you, you know that right?"

"C'mon, Em, put your back into it!"

Before I can throw down and kill her, I feel a hand grab mine and spin me around. "She's messing around, don't let it get to you." I see Effy smile at the figure behind me, clearly having heard.

"But she's being a lazy bum! I mean seriously, why can't she ev-" I'm cut off by Naomi kissing me, and I suspect she's just doing it to shut me up.

"Remember when I helped you, huh?" Effy yells as we walk up the stairs.

It's Katie and Effy's anniversary...of something. I'm not sure what because they haven't been married for a year yet, and Effy keeps referring to it as the 'best kind of anniversary'. Naomi told me that I probably wouldn't care too much, so I'm assuming it's something sexual in nature. And after years and years of oversharing, Katie keeps pretty quiet about her relationship with Effy.

'Ems, it was well good to talk to you about my loser boyfriends, but I feel like I would be betraying my _wife_ by telling you the intimate details of our life. It's a deeper thing, y'know?'

'Yeah, Kay, I really liked hearing about your escapades. Don't know what I would have done in college if I hadn't known you could put on a condom with your teeth. Scratch that—I was actually reassured to hear that. Made me less worried about you hanging around with those disease ridden wankers."

And while Effy and I have surprisingly formed a friendship, getting anything out of her is like pulling teeth. Whenever I bring up anything, she turns it around on me.

So Naomi and I are here to help her prepare a surprise for Katie. Somehow this involved me moving a lot of stuff out of their enormous closet space. Very heavy stuff, I might add. I suppose that might be the surprise—more room for Katie's shit. I have vivid memories of our closet vomiting out leopard print atrocities, and then these weird old lady clothes she took to wearing.

Effy's used various excuses for her non-participance in the manual labor throughout the day. First it was that she was hungover. Then she claimed fatigue, flu-like symptoms, drug withdrawal, and finally overexertion and pulling a muscle. I suppose it's an Effy style joke, and I'm glad she feels comfortable enough around me to pull her head from her arse and not be so fucking serious all the time. Unfortunately, this means she and Katie often gang up on me, and Naomi is never around to defend me. And giving her enjoyment with teasing me, I doubt she'd be much of an asset.

She's been really busy recently, with work. We acquired a small competitor and everything went to shit. Their infrastructure turned out to be as flimsy as a straw house and it seemed like the only employees we retained were the absolute worst of the worse. It sucks. Naomi is constantly having personally intervene when one of the new crew fucks up. So we spend what little time she manages to get free together, and I know it's not that she's been ignoring me or blowing me off. Well she might sometimes at work, but since I can't deny that Naomi is a lot less productive when I'm around, I suppose it's for the best. Guess I'm just too sexy for my own good.

"So Effy wants us to fuck off soon," Naomi tells me, circling her arms around my waist and putting her head on my shoulder. "So I was thinking we could, uh, go have dinner at mine."

I twist around so I'm facing her. "We could go back to yours, huh? What about my place?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow. We never really go to my shitty flat, Naomi's is just so much nicer. Somehow I suspect that she won't really care today, being that this is most likely a booty call.

"Mine," she interjects quickly. "I mean, that's fine too. We can, uh, go to yours."

"Just for dinner?" I say, trying to keep a serious face.

"Yeah. A nice meal, right?"

"You want sex. True?"

"Well...uh, no. I mean, if it leads there then so be it, but that's not my, erm, goal. I wanna spend time with you. I don't care what we do, you know that. I mean, I obviously love sex...with you, of course. To save of both the time I'm going to spend rambling here, can we just leave?"

I peck her on the lips, "I'd love to. Should we get some take-away?"

"No..no, I have some food at home we can eat."

She then gives me a sugary smile and hustles me to the door.

"Have fun!" I yell to Effy, "Tell Katie I said hi."

Effy smiles gratefully and shouts back to me, "Thanks, little Fitch. Now for the love of God, can you please not cause Naomi to be a zombie tomorrow at work! I hate it when she's exhausted and mooning over you. 'Effy, she's perfect', 'Jesus, Eff, the thing she does with her t-"

"Fuck off," Naomi interrupts somewhat harshly with a characteristic scowl, helping me into my coat.

"It's sickening really."

I glance at a quickly reddening Naomi, "Shut it, Effy, or else I'm going tell Katie about that time when I was helping you and y'know. You were drunk, I had stayed over..."

Effy's face turns white and she bites her lip apprehensively. Yeah, I know you don't want that to get out. A few weeks ago, Katie invited me over to theirs for dinner. She was called away by a work emergency, and for some reason I decided to wait around. Effy was drinking with Panda and came in shit-faced at around 7 or so. I helped her get into her pajamas, and in her confused and hazy state, she flipped me onto the bed and tried to kiss me. After I managed to throw her off and yell, she realized her mistake and begged me never to tell anyone.

I blow Effy a kiss as I grab Naomi's scarf and pull her through the door.

* * *

Naomi keeps smiling at me as we head over to hers. It's slightly unnerving. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. Just getting to spend some quality time with my girlfriend."

"Yeah... Nothing's wrong, right?"

"No. No, it's not that. I just, well I've got something important to talk about once we got home."

**A/N: I'm sorry for the prolonged absence. I was sick and unmotivated..**

**I hope you guys are still interested in the story.**

**Anyone have a suggestion of what the discussion is gonna be about? I haven't really decided.**

**As always, I love reviews!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hello everyone :)**

**Hope to update more often and such, sorry for the long wait, and thanks to everyone who has read, alerted (?), favorited, and reviewed!**

"_Wait_!"

For probably the first time in recorded history, I'm pushing Naomi away as she tries to start something entirely inappropriate for a taxi...mainly because the interior of this particular vehicle looks filthier than Katie's mouth. I'm seriously expecting to find a used condom or a tampon or a discomposing piece of a hobo's body in here. So I'm sure you can understand why I don't want to do anything that would require the removal or adjustment of any of my clothes. And it's really fucking unromantic being watched by the hairy sweatbag in the front seat.

Naomi's being really...affectionate, I suppose is the most accurate word. I'm not complaining (much) or anything, but it's so out of character. Even though I sometimes _know_ she wants it just as much

She called a taxi for us and as soon as we were both situated, began to kiss me like there was no tomorrow. I broke the kiss after a few seconds because I could see the dodgy cabbie looking at us lasciviously in the mirror.

"Naoms, stop," I breathe as she starts kissing up my neck, attempting to slide her freezing hands under my coat.

"Why?" she mutters against my skin, taking my earlobe into her mouth. "I could just keep this up-" she places her hand on my thigh, "and see where it goes."

At this I have to push her away by the shoulders. "Seriously! We're surrounded by gross toxins and germs and most likely cockroaches and dismembered body of a vagrant, so this is totally _not_ putting me in the mood!"

Pouting, Naomi glares at me, "Sorry, I guess I'm just excited to get to spend some time with my girlfriend! Unlike _somebody_."

"Hey, that's not fair. Not wanting to fuck in a disgusting car is hardly evidence of me being standoffish."

"That's not even a good use of the word," Naomi hisses back angrily.

"Right, ladies, we're here," the cab driver says before I can respond. Huh, thinking about it, we've been parked for at least a few minutes. Somehow I suspect that once his lesbian fantasy turned south, the cabbie decided to end this little journey. Naomi gives him a glare too before handing him the fare and hustling me out of cab, but not before the guy gives him horrible phlegmy cough.

"Clean your fucking car," I tell him as we walk off, "It's horrible."

"I'm sorry," Naomi tells me as we're standing awkwardly in the lift. "I know I'm acting funny, but I'm just kind of nervous. Like I said, we need to talk and I was just trying to lighten some of the anxiety, yeah? Any sort of discussion is eased by post-coital bliss. Wait, no, don't quote me on that—I'm sure there is some exception that you could think of. So how about we forget the ride over here and enjoy this evening together?"

She's giving me this hopeful sort of grin and holds out her hand.

"Okay," I say grudgingly,taking her hand as the tries to get her key in the door.

"I can't get the damn thing in there!" she exclaims.

"Move aside," I tell her, grabbing the key and easily opening the door. Turning, I smirk at my girlfriend and say, "Completely easy!"

Naomi doesn't reply, just flits her eyes behind into the flat. I follow her gaze and notice the beautiful scene in front of me.

There are flowers everywhere, and I suddenly notice the overwhelming fragrance in the air. The lights are all turned down low—a few candles illuminate the blanket on floor in front of the fireplace. And sure enough, a small fire is burning brightly (I didn't even know it was functional).

"What is this?"

Naomi just smiles at me and pulls me in towards the setup. "I wanted to set up a nice night for us."

"But...how? I mean, you were with me at Katie and Effy's all day?"

"Mmhmm, that was a setup. Katie was over here doing all of this, so Effy decided to help me out by occupying you and me so it would be a surprise."

"So what the hell were we moving all day?"

"Boxes of shredded papers from work."

"Fuck. All that work was useless?"

"Well not useless, it distracted us. And it did help Effy and Katie out—there isn't an anniversary, as you've probably guessed. Well, sorta. Eff's been clean for four years today. I'm like a proud mother hen."

"Whoa. One, you sound like an old person. Two, why didn't anyone tell me?"

"This isn't supposed to be the focal point of the evening. And, if you must know, Effy asked me to keep quiet. Like I told you, she used to be a big fuck-up. I think she'd like your friendship to stay nice and pure—no drug binges, hook-ups, or complete bitchery towards you. Plus she just married your twin sister, so she's trying to at least appear a bit responsible and adult."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so there's all the answers? Anything else before we can enjoy ourselves? Wait—don't say anything—I have a camera in here that streams to my phone, so there was no concern about a fire starting and consuming the building. And no, the camera isn't usually on."

I chuckle a little bit at that. "You really want to get this underway, don't you?"

She nods furiously, dragging me over to the setup.

I don't think I've ever been this relaxed. We've eaten, drank some, and are now curled up in front of the fire. Naomi has been strangely quiet these last few minutes. In fact, she's started to say something several times but quickly trailed off and made an off-hand comment about something random. I'm contemplating just asking her outright to spit out whatever she's thinking about. She did say that she wanted to talk about something with me, and now I'm getting worried about what it could be.

"What are you thinking about, beautiful?" she asks, pressing a kiss to my temple.

"Whatever it is that you're thinking about," I tell her, looking straight into her blue eyes. She immediately looks downwards, "You said you needed to talk about something with me, so let's talk."

"Okay," Naomi agrees, sucking in a deep breath. "Well we've been spending a lot of time together. Well, I mean obviously we are since we work together and we have the same friends and we are dating, but it's not even enough for me. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I picture when I fall asleep. And it's still not enough. So I guess what I'm asking is for you to move in with me."

Even though I suspected this was where this conversation was going to go, I can't help but gasp and bring my hand to my mouth. "Naoms, you're asking me to move in with you?"

"Well, uh, yeah. I would love that."

I seem to have been rendered speechless; Naomi looks down sadly, and mutters, "It's alright if you don't want to. I'm not gonna fire you or something."

"I would love to move in with you," I manage to get out before kissing her.

I'm rewarded with a radiant smile and passionate kiss before she tells me, "I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too."

* * *

Some time later, Naomi pulls herself away from me. "I've got a confession to make, Ems. It's-it's bad.

I...I have to leave the country for a while."

**So there you go. Angst is up next, lots of angst..that's what people seem to like, yes?**

**Also, I realized that I don't reply to all my lovely reviewers, so don't be surprised if I start doing so...**

**Tell me what you think!**


	27. Chapter 27

**"I...I have to leave the country for a while."**

"What?" I ask dully, sure I've misheard what she's just told me. "It sounded like you just said that you're going to leave the country for a while, but I know that can't be what you said. My girlfriend wouldn't spring this on me with no warning."

"No. You heard correctly. I have to go away on business for a couple of months," she says, avoiding my gaze.

"When?" I'm trying my hardest to keep my voice level even though I want to scream.

"Two weeks from today."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," I say loudly. "You're going away, out of the country, for _months_ and you're just now telling me?"

Naomi bites her lip and suddenly finds the pattern on the carpet to be fascinating. "I...I was gonna tell you, but I didn't want to put any strain on things. Or ruin what time we had."

At this I stand up, livid and wanting to smash something. "You do realize how fucked up this is, right? Not telling your girlfriend about a huge trip you're taking until two weeks before you leave. And asking me to move in with you, what was that about?"

Naoms looks like a deer in the headlights, mouth open and scared. "It's not related, Ems. I want to live with you and I have to go on a trip. Two entirely separate things."

"Separate things, right, right. Like our lives are going to be when you're away."

"You're overreacting a bit, Emily. This trip is absolutely necessary for the company and that's the most important thing right now." She realizes her mistake almost immediately, eyes widening and tensing up.

"Is it? Oh, okay then. That fixes everything. Work comes first. I get it now. I was right all along, I'm just a convenient diversion. "

I see a flash of anger in Naomi's eyes as she stands up and tries to put her hands on my shoulders, which I brush off. "You know that isn't true. But things aren't going well. They're not going well at all. You know that, you've seen the shit hole the office has become. If this trip doesn't go well, the company could go under. I need to do this for everyone's sake. What do you think will happen to Katie if we go bankrupt? No job. Effy? No job. Cook, Freds, JJ, everyone, they're all going to be screwed. Even you, I can guarantee you a job either."

I stumble back onto a chair as I process her words. "Go under? The company might go under?"

"Yeah," she answers, biting her fingernail nervously. "We took a big risk when we bought Grant industries. It didn't pay off. But I've been talking with people overseas and I've worked something out. We're going to open a branch in Hong Kong and I need to oversee everything."

"Who knows about all of this?"

"Just me and Effy. A couple people in finance."

"So this is why you've been so busy lately? Why didn't I know anything?"

"It would ruin morale if this got out."

"So you think I'd blab and tell everyone all of this? Jesus, that's one of the most offensive things I've heard in a while."

"Not you, per se, but Katie has a big mouth..and JJ doesn't have a functional filter. I was just being careful." She's pleading with me with her eyes, begging for me to understand.

"I am very upset with you right now," I finally tell her after an internal debate over whether I should storm away and leave or wrap her up in my arms because she looks so vulnerable and frightened.

She bows her head down, "I know. But I-"

"Wait for me to finish, yeah? I'm extremely upset with you. You've been keeping something huge from me, you don't trust me to keep a secret, and you have horrible timing. But I love you, so I'm not going to freak out too much."

"Thanks for understanding," she says sheepishly, moving towards me.

I put my hands up, "Wait. I'm still not finished. I think I need some space right now. I need to go into full-on work mode. Be your assistant, fix things up with the company."

"What does that mean?" Naomi asks apprehensively.

"That means that our relationship is on hold for right now."

"No!"

"Yes," I tell her emphatically. "If this is such an enormous mess then we need to put all of our energy into making this new thing work. And that means no distractions. Besides, you're going away in two weeks. It's not like we'd be going on dates or whatever."

"Yeah, but that's why I wanted you to move in so badly! I need you and want you, and I wanted these next two weeks to be the best they could be for us."

"That would be great. But you pointed out something important to me—I might lose my fucking job. And I'm not rich like you, I need it. You can't guarantee me a job, so I need to prove my worth to the company. The best way to do that would be to separate us. Boss and employee."

Naomi looks furious at this, which seems entirely ridiculous and hypocritical. "No. I don't want to take a break."

"Too bad. Now is there anything else I can do for you tonight, Ms. Campbell?" I know it's a bit much to go back to this level of formality, but I want her to see how serious I am.

"Come to Hong Kong with me then. As my assistant, of course."

"You can't just request that I go overseas with you for months on a whim, Naomi. I'd need to prepare for it, notify my family, a lot lot things. Plus I have duties at the office that I need to perform while you're away. It'll be even more important without you there. So no, I won't go with you. The person asking me to come along? That's Naomi Campbell the girlfriend talking, not Naomi Campbell, my employer."

"But.."

"I think I should go now, I need to get a good night's sleep for tomorrow. I'll see you at 7:45."

I start to gather my things, trying to put a brave face on. Despite my words, it's going to kill me to have to act like just an employee for weeks.

"You're not going to change your mind, are you?" Naomi asks, sounding despondent. It breaks my heart.

"No. I can't focus on my job and our relationship at the same time right now."

Naomi nods, pondering something. "Alright then. You're fired."

"What?" I frown as I look at her staring at me angrily.

"You're fired," she repeats, "You can collect your things tomorrow."

"Naomi, now is not the time for joking."

"Who's joking?" she asks, going into full-on bitch mode.

"You're actually firing me?"

"Yes. Your output is not nearly efficient enough and the company needs our best workers during this difficult period. "

"This isn't funny."

"I'm very serious, Ms. Fitch. You are no longer employed as my personal assistant. Your final cheque with be in the post."

"Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow."

Naomi shakes her head. "No. I will box up your things for you. If you come onto the premises, I will have security remove you." She takes out her mobile and dials a number. "Effy? Yeah, this is Naomi. I'm calling to notify you of the termination of Emily Fitch. Please assemble the severance package ASAP and alert security to not to allow her to enter. Yes, I'm very serious. No, it isn't because she refused to move in with me. Just fucking do it, Eff."

She slips the phone back into her jeans, then smiles sweetly at me.

"This is lunacy."

"No. I will not have work interfering with our relationship. Since you can't focus on your job and our relationship at the same time, I've cleared it up for you."

"Are you mental? You think firing me is going to clear things up? I think you've cracked under the stress, _hun_."

"I'll write you a brilliant recommendation."

"I can afford to be unemployed, Naomi! The economy has not recovered enough! I have fucking bills to pay and now I don't have a job. Dear god.." My head falls between my hands.

"Don't worry, Em. I'll support you."

I look up at my insane, mad girlfriend, and see a little smirk. "What?"

"I'll support you," she repeats. "Move in with me and you won't have bills. I have more than enough to take care of us both. I go to Asia and fix things up, you can come with me or stay here and look after our apartment. Domestic tranquility."

"No!" I yell, pushing her away. "I'm going to go home and when I wake up tomorrow, this is going to disappear! I'll ignore this whole thing, okay?"

Naomi just looks at me dumbfounded, as if I'm the crazy one.

**Whoa! What's up with this?**

**Sorry for the wait..Tell me what you think though, I always appreciate the comments!**

**Okay, so I've just had a couple of reviews that seem to indicate that my writing is a bit off. **

**So in lieu of a long explanation, I'll just say this:**

**...Edit again, to self: stop being so paranoid**


	28. Chapter 28

LONG Wait...Hope I still have some readers :)

By the time the cold air hits my cheeks outside of the building, I've gotten my phone out and dialed Katie. I don't know why, but I think that she'll make me feel better this time, even though she is usually terrible with helping anyone through a breakup. Maybe it's just me, but being told that "things would never have worked out, she was waaaay out of your league...lucky you even got to get in her pants" did not help me get over any of my exes.

Fuck. Exes.

Is that what this is? It has to be. What kind of relationship can last when one of the members keeps being ridiculous and making new rules and acting like a complete fuck-up.

It's gonna be difficult explaining the insanity that just went on to Katie. I don't even think that I understand what happened. It was all fine, all good, then Naomi went fucking insane, is going to China, and I'm supposed to be okay with that.

I have no doubt that Naomi has called Effy to talk about it, and it seems rather pathetic that we're both turning to other people instead of working it out together...but I think right now all I could say to her would be some combination of expletives and desperate pleas.

Katie picks up on only the second dial, which she never does, so I know that she must has already heard some of it.

"Emily? I just heard what happened from Effy! She's fucking lost the plot, hasn't she! Completely ridiculous, total nutter! Where does she get off firing you? And then trying to turn you into some kind of housewife!"

"Yeah," I agree tiredly, glad that I won't have to recount the madness myself, "I think she's snapped from the stress."

"Stress? Em, stress makes people binge on ice cream or down a few extra cocktails. She's fucked up big time. This is ridiculous."

"Well it wasn't all her," I admit. In retrospect, deciding to put our relationship on ice for a while was probably not one of my best calls. Sticking together during tough times is much better than retreating back to our awkward first stages. Fuck me and my childish defense tactics.

Katie scoffs, "Whatever. That cow almost shafted all of us. We could all lose our jobs, and she didn't say a thing. What did you do that could be as wrong as springing a three month trip on your girlfriend and then firing her?"

"Well...I kinda suggested that we temporarily break off our personal relationship while this whole work mess is being resolved. And I called her "Ms. Campbell" and pretended like I would just be the subservient, feelingless assistant. And that the whole situation was her fault, that she didn't trust me. A bunch of hurtful shit."

"What?"

"I said that we should put our relationship on hold, until we come out of the rough spot."

"Fucking hell, Em, that's so childish. Doesn't even make sense. How would that help anything? Just make it all awkward."

This is when the tears start falling heavily again, my mascara running down my face. My heart feels heavy, weighted down, and the sinking sensation in my stomach is making me queasy. "I dunno, K, I just was so pissed that Naomi, once again, wasn't forthcoming with me, didn't trust me, and made a decision for me. Plus she used her seniority against me. Do you know how condescending and patronizing and belittling that is? It's like she controls my job and my personal life. She knows best every time. She's the boss. I'm supposed to just accept everything and listen to her. Supposed to jump through a bunch of hoops for her. And what do I get in return? A lover who spends more time dictating expense reports to me than going on dates or relaxing or whatever."

"But you do love her," Katie interjects quietly, "So there must be some good bits, right?"

"Well yeah!" It doesn't take me any time to come to that conclusion. "It's just the bad bits are terrible...like firing me from my job because of a lover's quarrel. Sometimes I think she needs to be medicated."

"How would you feel about some mediation about this? Someone to help get through to both of you numbskulls."

"What?" I ask suspiciously. "Like couples counseling?"

"Sort-of.." Katie trails off, sounding a bit unsure. "Effy wants to help. She can be the go between, fix it all up. Do some negotiations, compromise..."

"Effy." I say disbelievingly. "Naomi's best mate. Yeah, I can see how that would be objective and fair."  
I can almost see the roll of Katie's eyes. "Yeah, but she is the head of Human Resources, too. She knows about this kinda stuff and she always calls Naomi on her shit. And I'll be there, fighting in your corner. So what do you say? Can we fix this tonight?"

I sigh, "Yeah. We should just go ahead and address this before it balloons into something even more terrible."

"Okay, come to mine, I'll get Effy to bring Naomi and some booze."

When I get the Katie and Effy's, the sense of trepidation in my stomach has reached its peak. It's not butterflies in gut, but wasps. My hands tremble slightly as I fumble to put the key in the door. I'm saved from my awkward entry by Effy, who opens the door and gives me a hug.

"Uh, hi." I say, as she holds tightly to me. "Are you, um, ok?"

"I'm fine," she says offhandedly, "How are you?"

"Er, ok?" I can hear the pity in her voice, and it just makes everything so worse. "Is Naomi here yet?"

Katie joins Effy, and both of them get this look in their eye that spells trouble. "Y-e-s..." Katie drawls out.

"Ish that you Emsy? Breaker of my heart? You ripped it in two!" Naomi yells, clearly drunk, stumbling in the foyer, bottle of tequila in her hand.

"Yes," I say, reaching my hand out to steady her. She looks like she might topple over, her arms flailing wildly. I manage to catch her as she falls over, but the combined weight and momentum causes us to both end up on the floor.

Katie and Effy watch, seeming to find the spectacle amusing, small smiles creeping onto their smug faces.

"Whoops! Didn't mean for that to happen, Em," Naomi slurs, still laying on top of me, her hand falling over my tits. "Mmmm, nice handful there."

I push her off and settle her against the wall, so that she can look at me.

"Mmmsorry," she mumbles, her eyes closed and head titled back. "Sprung it all on you. S'not fair. Ima terrible girlfriend. Terrible boss. Terrible person. My love for you has turned me into a smlooosh.."

I feel my heart melt a little bit, so I scoot closer and grab her limp hand. "We made mistakes. Let's talk about it tomorrow."

I look up at Effy and Katie, "Can you help me move her into the bed?"

"Fuck. Fuck. Why did I drink so much? Idiot. Fucking idiot, that's me."

I roll over on the bed to get a glimpse of a severely hung-over Naomi. She looks like she's on the verge of throwing up: head in her hands, curled over into the fetal position, eyes closed tightly shut. I lean over to press a kiss to her brow, before realizing that I might be overstepping the boundaries.

"Hello!" Effy says chipperly from the doorway, "Time to wake up you two! Things to do, you know."

I glance over at her, the glasses of wine the night before catching up to me, and scowl. "We can't fucking manage anything at this point."

"Agreed," Naomi mumbles from the other side of the bed.

And yet somehow we do. Naomi is seated on one side of the table, Katie next to her, while I am on the other side, Effy sitting uncomfortably close. Effy's set up her phone to record the whole thing, which seems a bit much to me.

"So," Effy says cordially, looking at each of us in turn, "Let's start this then. The two parties in question are Emily Fitch, executive assistant and Naomi Campbell, CEO and President. Let the record show that all parties are present, as is witness Katie Fitch."

Naomi rolls her eyes, "This is an informal thing, no need for any of your stupid jargon."

She's a bit sobered up, drinking coffee and scowling at all of us.

"You're just mad that I woke you up. And I think a bit of formality gives this whole thing more validity, right?" Effy is giving a glare that would scare anyone to Naomi.

"Well this doesn't need to be that valid because it isn't a work-related thing, it's a personal quibble!"

I'm a bit annoyed at this comment, so I say with as much vitriol as possible, "Oh, just a simple personal problem? You fucking fired me, Naomi! It involves work, obviously! Or is my career worth so little that it doesn't matter?"

"For fuck's sake, it's not that complicated!" Katie says, her lisp coming on strong in her anger. She's been nursing a cup of coffee that I suspect has some liquor in it.

The three of us turn to her in surprise. Naomi breaks the short silence with a sharp retort, "So, Katie, what do you propose exactly?"

Katie gets that look in her eye, the one that indicates she might blow up, and snaps, "Okay, you three hotheads, let's just be reasonable. Emily, what do you want?"

"What do I want? In general? For work? Relationships? Very vague..."

"All of it."

I stop to think about it for a second. "Well I want some respect from Naomi, I—"

Naomi snorts angrily, "Respect? I give you so much respect, Emily. I can't even believe that you would say that."

"Well how am I supposed to feel when you constantly belittle me, and act like my job is not important? No, I'm not running a department or selling units or anything. But it is my job, and I do it well. It hurt like hell when you suggested that I just leave all my work to be some sort of domestic housewife in Asia with you, because it was like you think I'm a nothing. Like what I do is worth so little that my position can be replaced or removed. You're in charge, I respect that. But I don't wanna feel like I'm just making copies and fetching you coffee. I'm not your servant, and I might not be your equal in rank, but I want to be in everything else. I know what I do isn't that important, but I wish that my girlfriend would treat it as I treat her work. Don't act like I can just leave all my shit, like it's just busy work."

"Emily, I do respect you," Naomi says softly, "And I clearly haven't been representing my feelings clearly enough to you. Firing you was an impulsive, rash decision. I can't stand to lose you, professionally or personally. And that's what it seemed like to me—I wouldn't see you in the office, you wouldn't be there for me when I was stressed. I acted like a spoiled brat. You do so much to help at the office, and I think you can do anything."

"I suppose it was a bit excessive for me to revert back to a strictly professional relationship. I was just hurt. And yeah, you did act like a brat. You don't always get what you want, Naoms. Your job is the most important thing now, and I get it. But you can't have me and treat me erratically."

Naomi looks stricken. "Emily, do you really think my career means more to me than you do?"

I take a deep breath, and then nod slowly. It seems like it. She's reassured me in the past about our work conflicts, but it isn't helping much now.

Naomi stands up at this, fists clenched, tears forming, and slams the table. "No! Just fucking no. I love you, Emily. I love you more than anything, ever. I would quit my job for you, I would live in a dumpster if I got to be with you. I would work three jobs, flip burgers at McDonald's, do anything if it meant we could be together. I am so sorry that I made you feel belittled and unimportant. You are the most important thing in my life. When you said we were going to take a break, I felt like my heart was breaking into a million pieces. I was irrational, unkind, didn't treat you right. I won't go to Asia, I'll send someone else. We'll postpone it. All I ask of you is to not punish me by closing yourself off, by not letting me be your girlfriend. I did that to you, and it was the shittiest thing I could do. I just...I just can't stand the though of losing you. From the very beginning I've treated you like shit, been a bitch, been illogical and irrational. But I've loved you since the first time I saw you. I'd do anything for you. Emily, I would die for you."

Her cheeks are red, eyes watery, she's still hungover, smeared makeup and mascara running down her face...and it's still the most beautiful thing I've seen.

Update will be sporadic.

Lemme know what you think!


	29. Chapter 29

**Not the best chapter, but needed to get stuff over with**

My immediate impulse is to rush over and kiss her, hug her, tell her that everything is fine. But I can't. We've never fixed the underlying problem in our relationship, not during any of our fights. And it needs to be fixed. I've always just melted and given into Naomi's sweet words. I know that what she says is always sincere, always representative of her inner feelings, but that changes nothing.

Maybe things will be different at work after this little chat, at least for a while.

But eventually we'll slide back in our old habits. It might not be tomorrow, or next week, or next month, but it will happen. She'll start treating me like nothing, I'll start resenting her authority and need for control.

It's all become so fucked up now..I don't see how any of it can work.

"Please." I hear Naomi say pitifully, her voice barely audible even in the tense silence permeating through Katie and Effy's kitchen. "Just say...something."

Katie and Effy are staring at me nervously, while Naomi is suddenly focused on the wall to the right of my head, looking like she might throw up. My eyes dart between the three figures, pressure rapidly bearing down on me.

"Em?" Katie asks softly, "Are you...uh, there?"

"Yes," I hear myself saying, even though I stil

l feel very disconnected and far away. "I just..this is all too much. I-I can't do it. This, this can't work. There are fundamental problems, irreconcilable differences here."

A sense of finality weighs down on the room.

Then it's Effy who puts a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently, and asking if I want to lay down. I feel her pulling me up, leading my into the bedroom. It's only adding to the rising sense of surreality when I see Katie giving Naomi a hug, Naomi's face buried against her neck.

"No!" I yell, finally finding my voice, mind clear. I see what has to be done, what should have been done months ago. "I don't...I don't mean everything." They look confused. "I mean, what I'm trying to say that it's only part of this whole situation that can't work."

Three pairs of eyes study me curiously. Effy's piercing blue eyes, bereft of the usual layers of mystery, are full of emotion as she flickers her view between Naomi and me. Katie stares me down, confusion and maybe a hint of anger playing over her features. And Naomi, unshed tears gleaming in the beautiful blue orbs I've grown to love so much.

"Naomi, I love you. You know that I do. All of the things you said, about living in dumpsters or working in fast food, I would do for you, too. But the crux of our relationship trouble, of all the drama, has always been work. And I don't see that changing—I don't think it can change. So that is why I am resigning from the company...even though you already terminated my position last night."

"You're resigning?" Effy asks, sounding a bit confused. "But we can work this all out. There is no need for you to do that. It will just take some small changes on both of your parts."

I scoff, "There is quite obviously a need for me to do that. I can't work under my girlfriend. And Naomi made me realize something-I care so much more about our relationship than I do about some stupid job."

Naomi, who until now had been slumped over the table, head facing down, looks up at me. "But what about all this 'my job is important to me' and 'what I do matters' stuff you were going on about yesterday?"

I don't think she has any room to talk here. But I tap into my voice of reason and decide to treat her with kid gloves.

"It wasn't the actual job or the work, Naomi. It was the equality and balance. That employer-employee relationship was never going to work as long as there was a romantic relationship involved. You didn't mean to make it unfair, it just happened. But I don't want to keep fucking up our relationship. So I'm choosing us over my job. Simple decision."

Naomi meets my gaze evenly for the first time all morning. I can see the hope there, the happiness, and the reason. For the first time, she seems to get it. "Of course, Emily. I will accept your resignation, and write you a lovely recommendation."

We share a look, both of us breaking into goofy grins.

"Okay!" Katie says cheerily, "Problem solved! Are you lezzers gonna kiss or what?"

Effy looks at Katie with a satisfied smirk, "Kiss, Katie? Oh, I think they'll be doing far more than that."

"Sod off," Naomi says affectionately, before crossing the distance between us and pressing her lips against mine.

"Aw," Katie says, arms wrapped her wife, "You are such a good negotiator, babe."

Naomi and I find our way back to our flat soon enough, kissing and hugging along the way. Reveling in the newfound freedom we have as lovers and lovers only, I think we both feel a weight lifted off of our shoulders. The simplicity of the solution makes it seem so obvious in retrospect. I suppose I hadn't wanted to go down this path because it would only heighten the inequality. But it doesn't, and I have the giddy happiness that someone in love should have.

"So," Naomi says, pouring us both a glass of wine, "We really should talk about what to do now."

"Yeah," I agree, not ready to let the happy mood go away. "I'll start looking for a job soon..I'm sure that I can find something soon, even if it's in fast food."

Naomi grins at this, putting her arms around me. "Nope. You have a great set of skills, Em, and I've got connections. If you'll let me, I can give you a head-start."

I ponder this for a second. "I don't wanna get a job because of you..."

"I get it. It'll be very discreet, no one will know about us. Or not. Whatever you want."

Nodding, I say, with a great deal of embarrassment, "So I can still move in, right? I don't really have rent money now."

"Of course! And I meant what I said, I'll cancel the Asia trip. I just want to focus on us right now."

"What a turnaround from just last night," I say slowly, trying to think logically, not driven by my emotions.

"Well I thought I might lose you for good, changed my mind a bit."

"Hmm. Well, for the sake of all our friends and your career, I think you should make the trip. We can call, email, skype, whatever. It'll be difficult, but you'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah," Naomi agrees, looking at my lips.

"Are you listening?"

She smiles and shakes her head before kissing me, propelling my body towards the bedroom.

"Talk later."

**I know this is a bit weak, but I got bored with this storyline lol**

**In future chapters, which will come more regularly, we will meet Naomi's new assistant...attractive, young, smart. Hmmm.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Sorry for the wait guys! I am still interested in this story...but kinda a filler chap, not gonna lie.**

I bustle around the flat, dusting and re-arranging everything. For the past three days, I've been a madwoman. After four long, seemingly never-ending months, Naomi is coming home. Her flight touches down in approximately twenty-two hours and thirty-one minutes. Yes, I'm actually counting down the time. Naomi has a special clock (she is so anal-retentive about time, so it doesn't surprise me that she has a gold-plated hideous monstrosity of a device sitting in a closet) and I set it up to count down the time until the plane gets in. I set the timer yesterday, right at 24 hours.

To say I'm excited is a huge understatement.

I know that we won't see each other immediately. She'll have to go through fucking customs and shit like that. And after hours and hours on a plane, she'll probably just want to go to sleep as fast as possible.

I hear my phone ring and decide to let it go to voicemail. It's probably Effy or Katie again. They have been bothering me a lot lately. They think I'm lonely, that I'm getting depressed being without my girlfriend, or that I'm moping. Or spending time with my new friends. Friends that apparently do not meet the rigorous requirements of joining our exclusive social circle or whatever.

I mean, I guess they have a point. Right after Naomi left, I lost it just a bit. We had spent the two weeks preceding her departure together almost all the time. The day she left, I only managed to hold it together until she disappeared through security. I think I cried for a whole day. And then suddenly I was in withdrawal, I was all alone in a huge apartment that only served to remind me of my girlfriend.

I may or may not have made a small puppet out of the pillowcase Naomi slept on, her favorite t-shirt, and some dryer lint (which was admittedly quite nasty). But I got rid of little 'Naoms' within the week, mainly because Effy came across it and tried to have me sectioned.

They really have been trying—Effy and Katie, that is. We eat dinner together a lot, go shopping, hang out. It's been nice, but no substitute for what I really want—Naomi.

My new job has been excellent, much better than I thought it would be. I started about three weeks after Naomi had left, and it provided a very welcome distraction. I am a junior accountant at a major law firm, which may not sound like much, but is actually relatively high-paying and somewhat fun. I make a lot more money than I did when I was working with Naomi, and I get to spend time with people other than the gang from the Campbell Corporation.

In particular, there are two very friendly coworkers that I frequently go out with, the aforementioned friends that Katie and Effy don't like. Casey is beautiful and smart, a blonde who ascended the corporate ladder faster than anyone I've ever seen, with the possible exception of Naomi.

Daniel is my other new friend. He reminds me a bit of Cook with his womanizing ways, but is probably a tad smarter and a bit more sophisticated. He is an associate solicitor made for great things, not to sound cliched. I really like him, even though I can tell he's perving on me a bit. Keeps talking about meeting Naomi so that he can see us together because we are such a cute couple. (I think he wants to imagine us having sex or something; he always looks at pictures of Naomi and me around the flat with a more-than-platonic interest.)

But they are fun to hang around and seem to genuinely like my company. Katie had a smidgen of a crush on Daniel at first, I think. He's her type of guy: always messing with his hair, putting immense amounts of gel in his longish locks, rich, slightly sleazy, and handsome in a greasy sort of way. We had a humorous dinner party with Katie, Effy, Casey, and Daniel. By humorous, I mean incredibly strained and awkward. We met at Naomi's flat-excuse me-_my_ flat, and it was the first time the two groups had met. I had told Effy and Katie a fair bit about Danny and Casey, but hadn't reciprocated the gesture for my new pals.

_"So, Katie," Daniel purrs, pouring her a glass of wine and clutching at her hand, "You work at the company that Naomi runs?"_

_ "Yeah," she says, allowing him to hold onto her hand for slightly too long, a schoolgirl's blush __appearing, "I really love it there. Better than that wedding business shit I did when I was a teenager. Emily tells me you are an associate...Do you like being a lawyer?"_

_ He nods, chest puffing out, "Well I knew I wanted to enter in to a field where I could make a real difference. It means a lot to me, getting to make things right."_

_ Casey snorts loudly, pushing her uneaten salad around with her fork, "Daniel, you work in corporate law...I don't think there are a lot of victims."_

_ Daniel sighs heavily, "I've explained to you many times how my work helps people. You just don't see it. I don't want to go into all the silly details now. Wouldn't want to bore all the beautiful women here."_

_ He winks at Katie, and smiles coquettishly (and yes, it looked weird for a man to be making the kind of face he was making)_

_ Katie giggles back, giving him a wide smile. She totally has a crush on him._

_ Effy does not look amused. She's not a jealous type, at least I never thought she was. She knows that she is hot enough to keep her wife happy. I've never seen her act jealous, though she did kick a drunk guy in the balls for groping Katie in a bar. Right now she is giving Daniel a death-stare._

_ "I'm sure we wouldn't be bored," Effy says, using her toneless voice to imply that yes, we would all be dying of boredom._

_ "No, no," Daniel demurs, "Some other time, Katie. Or do you prefer 'Katherine'?"_

_ Katie smiles and gives a little laugh, placing her hand back on his, "Only very special people get to call me that!"_

_ Danny grins, running his fingers through his hair, "I know I can become one of your 'special men'."_

_ Effy stands up angrily, "Stop hitting on my fucking wife, you little asshole prick. I've seen you winking across the table, the girly smiles you keep giving her, and you tried to play footsie with her—and it was my fucking thigh that your nasty damp foot was touching. So back the fuck off."_

_ We're all silent for a second._

_ "Well this is awkward," I say, hoping to alleviate some of the tension._

_ Daniel looks around widely, seeming very confused. He points between Effy and Katie, and asks, "You two are married? Like Effy is your wife, Katie?"_

_ "Yeah," Katie says, "Duh." For all of Katie's shortcomings, she is not a fan of infidelity. But many years of flirting and sleeping around have confused her on the appropriate response to horny men. I honestly think she didn't realize that she was going too far._

_ "Oh," Daniel says, sounding disappointed. His disappointment is short-lived as he seems to begin fantasizes the Fitch-Stonems in action._

_ I jump in, trying to save my new friend. "Ah, it's all okay. Let's have some cake!"_

_ "Or some cyanide," Casey mutters sarcastically. She's not exactly an optimist. I don't know why she's being so standoffish._

_ "It's okay if you want to fuck her, she's an extremely attractive woman. But don't show it and don't fucking flirt with her, or I will fuck you up." Effy gives her requirement to Daniel in the same tone that she might use to order at a restaurant. Her blue eyes pierce our male acquaintance, and I have no doubt that Daniel will follow all of her rules._

_ He swallows thickly and nods. "So...cake then?"_

Effy grew to like Daniel to some degree. I think Daniel fell under her power, and was a bit scared of her, something she loves. One of her favorite things to remind people of is her ability to make everyone fall in love with her. She could get him to fetch her coffees or cigarettes or do 'manly' things in their flat. Katie liked him too, is was always asking him for his opinion on clothes and sexy lingerie (she doesn't actually model this for him).

Effy does not like Casey. Katie is not a big fan either. I think it's just because they're jealous that I have a new female friend, a relationship completely separate from them. And c'mon, Casey is straight as an arrow. It's not like we're going to start anything.

My phone keeps ringing, so I decide to answer it, hoping to scare them off.

"Hello," I say sharply.

"Emily?"

"Look, I'm really busy. Katie or Effy or whoever this is, I need to prepare stuff for Naomi. So please fuck off. I don't have time for you." Harsh maybe, but certainly effective.

The person on the other end pauses for a second before bursting out laughing.

"Em, it's me. Naomi."

"Oh! Sorry, baby, I'm just a teensy bit stressed out. I'm trying to prepare a perfect homecoming for you."

"Aw, Em, thanks. I appreciate it. But you know that my homecoming will be perfect no matter what, as long as you are there to welcome me. You really do represent home to me, Em."

I feel a warmth settle into my chest, and I can feel my excitement growing. "Well I can guarantee that I will be there whenever you want to have a 'homecoming'. So is there a reason you're calling? Not that I'm not glad to talk, but your flight is leaving soon. I would not want you to miss your flight and have to sit around the airport for hours."

"I know, and I'm in the terminal so don't worry. I just wanted to hear your voice before I left. Unless you're busy doing something. Perhaps screwing Alphonse the pool boy?"

"Ah yes, Naoms, because when I want to have fun, I look for a _man_ with a creepy sex-offender mustache. Just my type."

"You liked Lawrence," she reminds me, laughing, "But I just wanted to know if you were available to talk...I wouldn't want to get on to that flying deathtrap without speaking with you first."

"Well you have my full attention, though I want to point out that we talked-" I check my watch "-around two hours ago." I keep my tone light and teasing, because I think we both know that I love getting calls from her, as frequent as possible.

"It's just...I've missed you so much and now that we're counting down to the hours, time is passing very slowly," Naomi sighs, voice soft, "I can imagine myself back in our flat, in bed."

As always, my heart flutters when she says things about 'our' flat or 'our' life. Things that remind me that we are intertwined, that we are a united entity now. Naomily, I like to say.

"Mmm, so it's going to be that sort of chat then?" I ask, feeling tingles in my stomach when she mentions 'bed'...it's been a while, if you know what I mean.

"Well...no. I mean, I obviously want to do _that _at some point, but what I really, really miss is falling asleep with you in my arms and waking up to your beautiful face. And I'm ready to sleep for about three days straight."

"I love you," I tell her, touched by the sentiment. "More than anything really. I'm driving myself crazy trying to fill up these last few hours. These past few weeks have gone by okay just because you seemed so far away, but now you are so close and I can almost taste it."

"I love you too," she says, and I can hear her smile over the phone. "I didn't tell you this because I wanted it to be a surprise, but I've taken 10 days off of work when I get back. I know you have to do um accounting things and go to your job, but I plan to devote all of my time to you. You really deserve some pampering after putting up with all of this...I will probably also do a lot of sleeping, eating, and laundry."

"Baby, that's great!" I really am happy. I support Naomi, of course, but it will be nice to have her all to myself for a little bit.

"Yep, I hoped you would be happy. I've got some surprises up my sleeve too. To show you how grateful I am for all of your support and love."

"I think I can work with that...so I've been trying to get some stuff for when you get home. Foods and stuff that you like. Do you have any requests?"

"Fuck yes. Yes. I need sweets. They don't have good desserts here, Em. Even in the nice places. It's all shit. I just want a cake or brownies or something with loads of fat and sugar. You could feed me truffles all day and I'd be good. The food here is pretty good, but sometimes I just want a taste of home." (I admit that my mind goes to the gutter here)

"Okay, I'll make sure to pick some stuff up."

"Get something that's easy to eat, too," Naomi continues, her voice lowering slightly, "I don't plan on leaving the bed very often."

I feel a jolt of arousal flood my body. "Oh, and why is that? Busy sleeping?"

"No," Naomi says, before informing me matter-of-factly, "I'm going to be pretty busy fucking you." She pauses, and then adds sheepishly, "Though I suppose that would fall more under 'making love'. God, I'm so awkward at this." We both laugh, knowing it's true. She's much better when not on the phone.

"Fuck, I cannot wait for you to be here. If you could only feel how hot I am for you now, you would not worry about being awkward."

"Mm," Naomi agrees, adding ruefully, "They're boarding now, so I'd better stop. I'm pretty sure I could get kicked off a flight for having phone sex with my girlfriend, no matter how beautiful and deliciously fuck-able she is."

"Yeah," I mutter, not entirely pleased at the interruption, "Well I'll let you go. Love you."

"Love you too. I'll see you soon, bye."

She hangs up and I slump backwards against the couch.

I don't want to think about it, but I am so sexually frustrated right now. Have been for weeks. Naomi and I did try phone sex, but it didn't work out so well. Her interpreter had burst in the room at a very inopportune time, and Naomi was too scared to try it again after that. But it was kind of nice to just chat with her anyway, sometimes just by phone and sometimes on skype. She was constantly in meetings and working, but she always made time to call me at least once a day. Sometimes she would send presents from China, or would arrange for flowers and chocolate to be sent to the flat. Very romantic.

And now, in a little more than 21 hours and 42 minutes, she'll be back with me.

**Next chapter will most likely be major fluff! Reunion!**

**Tell me what you think, I love your reviews.**


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